My atheist friends tend to think my debating style is aggressive. I have absolutely no shame. To me religion is a cancer and it needs to be cut out wherever it is found. I can think of a couple instances where I was pretty aggressive with my approach... one of them happened yesterday which is why this subject is fresh in my mind.
At my Grandpa's funeral... in the church he attended since my parents were children... I found myself surrounded by Christians and I had a bible (New International Version)... what is an atheist to do? I thumbed through the paper thin pages to 2Kings 2:20 (Or thereabouts) and begin to loudly read about how God sent 2 bears from out of the woods to maul children for calling a man "Baldy." Those closest to me in my family tried to pretend they didn't know me... those who didn't really know me couldn't figure out where this verse came from. I got a few exclaimations from people asking if that was really in there... I allowed them to read the passage to prove it indeed was. I didn't take it any further than this but I think I got my point across to a few people I didn't appreciate the Church Sermon / Funeral Service.
The other one happened over a year ago. My parents have a bar in their basement and it's the hangout spot for quite a few people. My aunt was over there and having a few drinks. I cannot stand her holier than you attitude and she made the mistake of trying to preach to me. I set her up where I knew she'd be vulnerable... her youngest daughter!
I started off innocently enough. I asked her if she believed that those who don't accept Christ will be sent to Hell? She agreed and even adlibbed a few lines about eternal torture and unlimited suffering and pain. I asked her if she believed she was going to be admitted into heaven when she died. She agreed she would. I asked her if she thought heaven would be this perfect place free from suffering. She agreed it was and she's almost getting excited like I'm coming around to her side. Then I told her that he daughter is going to Hell!
The look on her face... one of almost pure discomfort. Like that's the first time that has ever gone through her mind and she couldn't handle it (cognitive dissonance at it's best here.) I could have probably stopped here but I knew she was on the ropes. I asked her if Heaven was going to still be perfect... knowing that her youngest daughter was being tortured in Hell and theyd never be together again. I didn't even let her answer before I hit her with the next question. I asked her how she feels about worshipping the very figure that would also condemn her daughter to eternal torture... would she still be able to bask in all his glory knowing her beautiful daughter was suffering and this figure was the gate keeper to her eternal torment.... could she kneel befor ehim in the kingdom of God while her soul is raped over the coals of Hellfire!
By this point she is crying... sobbing uncontrollably. She called me a f^&%ing a$$hole and stormed off. I haven't talked to her since. I know she's still mad at me... I know she still remembers that conversation and I bet it haunts her more so now than ever because 2 months ago that atheist daughter I spoke of... died in a car accident. And while I would never wish bad on my cousin because she was an amazing women (you all would have loved her) but I do enjoy knowing that religion won't be comforting her mother because of our conversation a year ago.
So, lets hear your stories about when you crossed the line to make a point.
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Your grieving family seems like an easy mark . Perhaps the tears were already welling at the surface. Having a drink with your aunt and then debating tougher game in the market place of ideas would have been a more heroic plan in my eyes.
Although I agree that "religion is a cancer", I wouldn't find any satisfaction in pushing it as you describe (well, except maybe in some specific situations).
The same questions could be conveyed without the aggressive approach. I think it would be far more effective to keep aggression out of it, since aggression causes humiliation and resentment. An element of pride gets involved, making further communication almost impossible.
I find that just asking questions similar to the questions you describe, but in a non-aggressive way, then letting them figure it out for themselves, is far more effective and causes less resentment.
A great book on that subject: "A Manual for Creating Atheists", by Peter Boghossian
One of the best books out there for us! It has helped me become more open about everything. Also, it has helped me become less angry and more reasonable when it comes to discussing faith with believers.
You'll always catch more flies with honey. The way you treated these people is pitiful. While I hate religion, I never would treat others in such a disgraceful way, especially when they were already mourning.
Well we got your story in a vacuum. I hope there is a back-story we are missing to explain why you would do this to this person.
Jonathan - Why do you refer to your aunt as a religious point of view ?