I need help. I don't understand myself any longer

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Victory01's picture
I need help. I don't understand myself any longer

I feel like she's in my head and she's sucking me dry emotionally.

I'm an 18 year old student. Generally, I'm somewhat of an introvert. I'm very loud when I'm with close friends and people I know really well, but I'm as quiet as a mouse when I'm with less familiar folks. I often enjoy going out to hang out with people, but most of the time, I just prefer my own company.

I just got into the university for the first time last year. When I gained admission, she was one of the first friends I made seeing that we shared the same course of study (for this threads sake, I'll call her Jane). She's a single mother and she's about 24-25 years old. Jane is a textbook extrovert - she loves being the center of attention, she loves the sound of her own voice, she talks to anything that moves etc. Although I'm a much more quiet guy, we blended along pretty well and she became, probably, the closest friend I had in my department. She's very entertaining, lively and fun to be around

The problem with Jane however is her neediness, false sense of entitlement and controlling attitude. She often guilts me into doing things for her, and if I respond negatively, she'll take it as a sign of rejection. She also loves to jump into conclusions. She loves to hear herself talk, so arguing with her, or clarifying things to her is like pretty much like knocking your head against a stone wall. She also doesn't respect my opinions concerning an issue. In the early stages of our friendship, she was fond of reminding me that she's my senior, so I have to respect and listen to her. She gossips about people too. A lot

I'm one of the top students in my department, and she also exploits this by asking me to do assignments for her. Although I usually wave it off because she does the same for me, even though I hardly make any such requests. She also demands that I sit close to her in examination halls, then gets angry when I don't respond to her even though I try to explain the situation to her.

Jane often ridicules me for various things like my dressing or beliefs concerning an issue. She belittles me both publicly and privately, and I'm very cautious what I say or do when I'm around her. When on breaks, I've observed she never calls unless it's something really important. Moreso, on a frequent basis, she keeps complaining and telling me about her personal issues She judges me a lot, and likes to talk about how I've "changed" and whatever.

We're very close to each other and a lot of people even thought we were dating. I already have a girlfriend (not in my university) but Jane sometimes flirts with me, even publicly. She'd later tell me she was trying to make someone else jealous or something.

I'm not good with making new friends and she's the closest friend I've got since I got into the school and we consider ourselves family of some sort. Recently, she's been acting off. The other day, I visited her at her house and she invited me in but didn't talk to me throughout my stay there. I didn't try to talk though because I was nervous and trying to access the situation. She's like a switch these days. Sometimes, she would see me and walk right past me, other times she would actually stop and say hi and even talk and laugh. Im not very sure but I think her recent behaviour may have to do with the fact that sometime ago she asked me for money and I refused but gave her good reasons with regards to the purpose of the cash. She might have thought I'm selfish or something. She also hasn't called me in a long time, but I just discovered she's been in contact with one of my other close friends who met her through me.

I don't know if she's cold shouldering me or not , it's hard to tell. Recently, I've been lacking interest in a lot of activities I used to enjoy like playing video games, reading comic books etc. I get easily exhausted by them nowadays. To be fair, this has been going on before Jane's recent attitude change. But it's harder to get her out of my mind now because of my lack of interest in these activities. I'm also not very outgoing. I could hang out with a bunch of other friends but frankly, it would do nothing to alleviate my anxiety. I'm confused and I don't know if I'm the problem or I just don't know how to solve this stuff. It's making me restless.

PS: Im new to the AR as an official member, although I've been a lurker for close to one year. Tried posting this on Reddit but it didn't work for some reason. This is the only other place i could trust to think of posting this. I hope I'm not defaulting or something lol

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Tin-Man's picture
Howdy, Kojo. Welcome to the
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Thanks, @Tin-Man. Quite
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VCKojo - hi! You mentioned “
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@ VCK
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V.C Kojo: RE: A CLASSIC
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Welcome to Atheist Republic V
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@Kojo

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