I'm getting to the bitter and angry phase

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Mikhael's picture
I'm getting to the bitter and angry phase

Like, fuck Catholicism. Fuck the church. I am still fighting, and I broke again today to Google a story because apparently I'm not miserable enough. Lucky for me this account of a legend had a skeptics response right in it, and I got far enough in to read "leading questions" "distressed answers" and a few bites of history to be DONE. I closed out the window, out on a podcast, went back to work after my break and now I'm just pissed. Why do I fall for these fantastic stories? When it's so easy to create folklore for stories that "happened" 350 years ago? When the church TO THIS DAY alters public documents without shame? When I was obsessed with Joan of arc, all her stories had these details which I learned later weren't a part of her original timeline at ALL, despite being passed off as fact. I fuck g hate this maddening institution!

I have finally found online a group of other excats, and there isn't a soul among us who got out without trauma. Fuck them!

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CyberLN's picture
You are a recovering catholic

You are a recovering catholic. You are recovering. It is a process. It takes time. Give yourself the gift of that time.

Cognostic's picture
Anger in its place can be a

Anger in its place can be a great motivator. Caution is warranted less you resort to sweeping generalizations that can not be defended. Angry or not, stick with what is factual.

jay-h's picture
Stories all change in time.

Stories all change in time. The lives of MOST famous people are part truth and part (sometimes innocently) interpretations of later folk. Stories and myths are part of cultural heritage, and while it's good to get as factual as possible, myths carry their own lessons.

And interesting case is Carl Sagan's account of Hypatia and the library at Alexandria, framing it as a battle of a brave heretical woman against the anti knowledge Church. That there was a tremendous loss of ancient knowledge. In truth, there was intense political rivalry between the church and the state at that time, and she wound up in the crossfire. Just was at the wrong place at the wrong time. And while the library was once the grandest of the world, by the time she inherited the job, it had been looted several times and was just a shadow of its mythical self.

Grinseed's picture
Consder too the sexualisation

Good on you Mikhael, maintain your indignation.

Consder too, the sexualisation of Hypatia. She was a 60 year old virgin pagan academic who liked riding horses at the time the christian mob urged on by clerics Cyril and Peter murdered and mutilated her. Legend instead has depicted Hypatia as a hot young babe. One titlating 19th C painting shows a lithe young blond near naked woman scantily covered by her own long tresses. The latest presentation of her is in the movie Agora with the pretty Rachael Wiess acting hard to be a pagan academic.
The truth is out there, but it gets dressed up a lot according to the personal fancies of storytellers, so as Mulder advised, trust no one.

Tin-Man's picture
Hey there, Mikhael. Very

Hey there, Mikhael. Very pleased to see you are making progress. Equally glad to hear you have found a group of folks who more closely share your experiences with the Catholic Church indoctrination. No doubt they can relate to specific problems you are having in ways most of us here cannot. Makes the healing that much easier. Now, that being said, don't go saying farewell to us here at the AR. Like it or not, you have become "one of the family" around here. So it would be nice if you would do us the honor of hanging around awhile, young man. Besides, I bet we have better cookies here than that other group has.... *chuckle*...

Your anger stage is actually a good sign. Unlike when I went through my anger stage, at least you are aware of yours. I didn't realize my anger stage until it was fading away in my rearview mirror. Sure, OTHERS (You know who you are... *wink*) noticed it as I was lashing out and venting all those years of frustration. But for all practical purposes, I was pretty much oblivious to it until it was pointed out to me. And once I realized it and accepted it, everything was smooth sailing from that point on.

So, get through this anger. Vent, rant, rage, and get that poison out of your system. And once you do, leave that shit behind in the sewage pit from where it started, and never look back. Just keep moving forward one step at a time. It does get better.

David Killens's picture
Never forget MIkhael, you are

Never forget MIkhael, you are not taking this journey alone. You have friends who support you all the way.

As we all agree, anger is expected. But I am curious what your anger is directed towards, yourself or religion? You should not feel anger towards yourself, you are a victim of the most cunning con game of all time, a con game that has fooled hundreds of millions of people.

Don't be angry at yourself, feel glad you escaped and can now live a life much better in every way.

Mutorc S'yriah's picture
@Mikhael

@Mikhael
. . .
I have finally found online a group of other excats
. . .
@CyberLN
You are a recovering catholic.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Perhaps, Mikhael, you are a recovering alCatholic !!!
DOH :-{

Mutorc
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mikhael's picture
Don't worry Tin, y'all are my

Don't worry Tin, y'all are my best hos, you know that! But it'll be good to get back to actual conversation here after I get my head screwed back on right. And I can't miss Old Mans first pole dance of the year.

David, I'm not directing it at myself. I feel a bit foolish but mostly in pissed at the thousands of people in the top of the church who know. I'm sure there are many who honestly believe, but there are just as many involved in covering up everything from child abuse to false documents.

An excat I met actually linked me yo a great page a while ago that goes topic by topic and talks about why the Christian church has fucked up (forged documents, selecting stories, kill count, etc) and there are places that talk about the aspects of miracle stories that don't make it into the books, like visionaries who come forward later and confess they made it up. Just having this info for a few is enough to make me realize how deep the sham goes. I'm frustrated with his gullible I am, but I'm trying to not be angry at myself. I've gone through a share of abuse and trauma that has twisted the way I process information and that takes time to undo

Mutorc, if thars thhw case do i get like mkbthly chips for religious sobriety ?

Tin-Man's picture
@Mikhael Re: "Don't worry

@Mikhael Re: "Don't worry Tin, y'all are my best hos..."

Hey! Who you callin' a ho? While I can't speak for the others, I know I ain't gettin' paid for this. So that makes me a slut, thank-you-very-much.... *arms crossed*... *nose stuck up in air in haughty manner*...

Mikhael's picture
Ok tin, my favorite hos and

Ok tin, my favorite hos and one idiot who doesn't know where the cash is

David Killens's picture
https://www.youtube.com/watch
Mikhael's picture
I need you to know I closed

I need you to know I closed my eyes a d had to prepare myself before I clicked that.

I was not disappointed

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-TcLxlkc2pA

David Killens's picture
Sometimes in the middle of a

Sometimes in the middle of a serious moment, everyone needs a little comedy break.

Tin-Man's picture
@Mikhael Re: "Ok tin, my

@Mikhael Re: "Ok tin, my favorite hos and one idiot who doesn't know where the cash is"

Thank you, good sir. All is now forgiven.

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