Religious Joke of the Day

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Cognostic's picture
Religious Joke of the Day

Three boys are in a school yard. The first boy brags.... "My father puts a few words on a piece of papers, calls it a poem, and gets 50 dollars for it."

The second boy pipes up, "That's nothing! My dad puts a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a song and gets 100 dollars for it.

The third boy laughs... "Ha ha ha ha ha.... My dad puts a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes 8 people to collect all the money."

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boomer47's picture
@Cognostic

@Cognostic

The latest religious joke is that American cardinal who wants to lead Trump's re election team.

Mutorc S'yriah's picture
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I hope this pic. posts. Aah, I see that it did . . .

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Cognostic's picture
It should have been a pick of

It should have been a pick of Jesus eating his own semen.
The Greater Questions of Mary contained an episode in which Jesus took Mary Magdalene up to the top of a mountain, where he pulled a woman out of his side and engaged in sexual intercourse with her. Then, upon ejaculating, Jesus drank his own semen and told Mary, "Thus we must do, that we may live." Upon hearing this, Mary instantly fainted, to which Jesus responded by helping her up and telling her, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?"[6]

Spilling seed is the sin, eating it can save your eternal soul. So says Jesus!
There are reasons many of the other gospels did not make it into the official cannon.

David Killens's picture
A priest, a minister, and a

A Jewish businessman in America decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.

The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?"
He decided to go ask his friend Jacob what to do. Jacob said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."

So they went to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi said, "Funny you should ask.I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people? Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do."

The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do. Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, "funny you should ask, I too sent my son to Israel..."

from http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/religious-jokes

Seek3R's picture
Nice, but I was waiting for

Nice, but I was waiting for the following moment:

4th boy says "Way ahead of you all, my father puts up some words in a book, calls it divine inspiration, and never ceases to collect money in the cause of it"

A great idea for passive income.

boomer47's picture
@Seek3R

@Seek3R

Truth is indeed often stranger than fiction.

A true story, told to me by my mum as told to her by the kindergarten teacher. I'd forgotten.

Seems I was 4 years old and at kindergarten. We were doing finger painting.

Teacher "Why Cranky, you seem very busy, what are you painting?"

Me "I'm painting a picture of god"

Teacher "But Cranky, no one knows what god looks like"

Me: "They will in a minute"

Wow! Really? Of course, would I lie?

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