Ok, I posted this elsewhere, but I'm afraid it isn't being seen there (and damn it, I'm proud of it, breaking one of the commandments). Thus, a new topic.
I found this in a very old manuscript while visiting the Dead Sea. (My kids were burying me in the sand), The translation from ancient Greek is my own, so please forgive me if some of it isn't spot on.
I can see why this was edited out of the Gospels. This relates to the virgin birth.
Have any of you come across any good deleted passages?
Mary's Father: Mary, you've been spending way too much time with that goat herder lately.
Mary: His name is Joseph father, and he's wonderful
Mary's Father: You're 12 freaking years old, you should be spending your time with your mother hauling water from the stream and cooking and cleaning.
Mary: Oh Father, you are so negative first century.
Mary's Father: Mary, turn sideways
Mary: wha-wha-wha why Father?
Mary's Father: Mary, just do it or I won't spare the rod.
Mary: (turning sheepishly) Oh Daddy!
Mary's Father: You little whore! Where is that goat herder son of a bitch. I'm gonna bury my hot poker us his ass (Editor's note: not seeing the humor here)
Mary: (thinking quickly) Bu,,uh..uht Daddy, Joseph and I have not, you know, been with each other, maybe a bit of heavy petting but that was it. It was, it was, uh, the Holy Spirit, yeah that's it, it was the Holy Spirit!
Mary's Father: The Holy what!? Don't feed my a line of bullshit Mary, I wasn't born yesterday.
Mary: The Holy Spirit Daddy, you know, part of the Holy Trinity. Co-equal and both together with and separate from God the Father.
Mary's Father: The what? Stop with the Jibberish. You expect me to believe that crap.
Mary: It's not poo-poo Daddy. The Holy Spirit came to me in a dream and told me that I was chosen to deliver the Son of God and his name shall be Emmanuel. He will be the third part of the Trinity and he will forgive all of our sins. Isn't that wonderful!
Mary's Father: Stop with the lies Mary. I'm going to skin that bastard.
Mary: But Daddy, I'M A VIRGIN!
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