The holy book or nonsense - Part 2

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TheBlindWatchmaker's picture
The holy book or nonsense - Part 2

And the story continues children, settle down, settle down! Tin-Man, that is enough of the rude faces.

In a galaxy, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away - from actual reality,

The story of Dave and Linda

1. The following is based on the holy justice system, where sexually based offenses against pigs are not considered especially heinous. In Romford, the dedicated detectives who investigate these kinky felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit, These are their stories...

2. Before the mighty Unicorn set man upon the Earth, he bestowed the planet Mars with all kinds of bipedal creatures.
But they questioned too much, and were culled in 'the great adjustment' by the Lords very own Cosmic Bunny hit squad.

3. The Bunnies were sent fourth to the earth to build the first city, it was called Romford.
The Unicorn saw this and thought it to be a total dump, but it would be good - enough.

4. Getting tired of collecting bunny droppings, the Lord gathered all the dung to himself and created the first man, bringing fourth he that shalt be named Dave to life with the technicolor urine from his own body.

5. The Great Unicorn saw Dave and thought he was good, until he got bored and the man begun to spend vast amount of time picking his nose throwing rocks at trees.
He then extracted the sacred tooth as he slept and created the perfect partner, Linda.

6. All was well in Romford, the only rule was not to eat from the snack table of woe, but Linda was to be lured by the bastard of all creatures, the meerkat.

7. The meerkat enticed her with promises of a taste sensation, there she called upon Dave to dine upon the jar of peanut butter, which she did indeed endulge in and she thought it good.
However, Dave thought that it tasted like that of death's anal secretion and vomited the contents of his body onto the great altar of Keith Richards.

8. The Great One was overwhelmed with fury, "Thou art a dirty bastard for consuming such filth!" He bellowed from the heavens.
"You and your children and your children's, children, and your childrens, childrens hmm.. well, lots of your children! They will forever be doomed for your committing of such an unspeakable act" he raged.

9. The Lord called away the cosmic bunnies of whom had gleefully entertained Dave and Linda, "They shall now orbit the planet saturn, you no longer deserve to see the majesty of their fluorescent tails", The Lord continued, "And when you try to view, all your eyes will see are highly reflective ice blocks" he chuckled.

10. Dave scratching his hairy butt, turned to Linda and said, "bit harsh that, don't you think?"
To which she replied, "Yep, what a complete shit he is!"

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Randomhero1982's picture
Pmsl Really good! Nice play

Pmsl Really good! Nice play on Saturn's rings.

Tin-Man's picture
Re: "Tin-Man, that is enough

Re: "Tin-Man, that is enough of the rude faces."

Oh. Sorry. Gas pains. I had a chili dog earlier.

Tin-Man's picture
*jumping up and down with

*jumping up and down with glee*.... *clapping excitedly*.... See, Arakish? Seeeee? I TOLD you the Cosmic Bunnies came from somewhere!... *giggle-giggle-giggle*

Sapporo's picture
Keith Richards still being

Keith Richards still being alive truly shows his divinity.

rietro312's picture
An interesting story, but I

An interesting story, but I must admit that I am very far from this style of writing. It takes a lot of work, and I'm still using letter of recommendation service It only improves my writing in college

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