Jesus is a child molestor

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Up To My Neck's picture
Jesus is a child molestor

You will never believe what I saw today! A local baptist church near my home updated their sign out front in advance of their homecoming event this weekend. It said.....
Meet me at my house Sunday
and bring your children
I about shit when I read this. I despise their “clever” sayings they always flaunt for the rest of us to see. If you believe that shit already, the sign is worthless. If you are on the fence, I hope it takes a little more convincing than that bullshit. If you are an atheist, it wreaks of utter nonsense. Bunch of religious goobersmoochers!

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Cognostic's picture
@Pirate Jack: Isn't it a

@Pirate Jack: Isn't it a call for mass suicide? I immediately thought of all the people who have gone to see Jesus. "Meet me at my house and bring your children " just smacks of Jones Town to me.

Up To My Neck's picture
The line about “bring your

The line about “bring your children” struck me as very creepy. Keep your children far away from this garbage at all costs.

Randomhero1982's picture
*Turns up to the church*

*Turns up to the church*

"So wheres jesus?"

God botherer, "he's inside of you!"

"The dirty bastard! No dinner? No date? No kiss on the mouth..."


Cognostic's picture
You know. Jesus did have a

You know. Jesus did have a little naked boy run from his bedchamber on the night of his arrest. Christians have been making excuses about that one for 2000 years.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Cog

@ Cog

Naked boy and Jesus...I just had to google this and I found a good argument for a gay jesus here:

And of course in the interests of balance I found the apologist answer here *guffaws uncontrollably* oh, it is a very good read *laughs out loud while wheezing*

Have fun, on balance, I think I like the second apologist reasoning, after all we have no idea whether the Jesus dude actually existed so having the naked boy actually an angel makes a surreal kind of sense in the whole fantasy.

David Killens's picture
Are angels twinks?

Are angels twinks?

Is that why Lucifer broke away from heaven, because he refused to give blow jobs?

Cognostic's picture
@Old man shouts ...: There

@Old man shouts ...: There were quite a few Gay People in the bible. King David. The Gay Centurion, Jesus, Ruth and I think some others.

David Killens's picture
Let us examine his jesus

Let us examine his jesus person. There is no story of him having any romantic relationship with a woman. He could not hold a job, and was basically also homeless, wandering all around the place. On top of all that, he associated himself with twelve dudes. Run that through your police psych profile and what do you come up with?

Cognostic's picture
@David Killens: On the other

@David Killens: On the other hand, we do have the "Disciple that Jesus loved"

"The assumption that the Beloved Disciple was one of the Apostles is based on the observation that he was apparently present at the Last Supper, and Matthew and Mark state that Jesus ate with the Twelve. Thus, the most frequent identification is with John the Apostle, who would then be the same as John the Evangelist."

Later at the crucifixion, Jesus tells his mother, "Woman, here is your son", and to the Beloved Disciple he says, "Here is your mother.

Jesus could have been a horn-dog swinger.

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