Hello guys, I am happy that I found this website so maybe I can get some comfort and security from like minding people like myself.... I grew up in a house that was somewhat Christian because of my mother. I was still able to swear, play violent video games, watch rated r movies, do many things cause my mother said as long as you know you are a good person and believe in god that is all that matters to me. So I went through like hating Church which i have only been to maybe 20 times (including funerals).... Crazy huh? And I also went though childhood hating every five seconds my mother tried to shove religion down my throat nicely but still annoying. So now as a person who suffers from severe anxiety and OCD when something bothers me it sticks around with me until I forget and remember or find a solution for this. Currently I am lately very much so thinking about religion and all the holidays don't help. It drives me crazy. I have always loved playing video games like Call of Duty and grand theft auto. Also listening to music by heavy metal band names such as Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth, Exodus, etc etc.... Slayer has such album names as Haunting the Chapel, Hell Awaits, Reign in Blood, South of Heaven, God Hates us All etc.... This always pissed religious people and made my mother angry in a sense this is what I chose to listen to and support. I have a OCD/Anxiety disorder with consistently checking my heart rate and blood pressure. I have always had a fear of dying of something cardiovascular. I am scared to die and was happy with the reassurance of religion that "everything is going to be okay and you will have an after life" Now with being an Atheist I am scared to die and to just not be here anymore, I hate the fact that we live, were here and chose to do what we do in this life, And.... we die. the end no more no less that's that. I just hate the unknown that we all do not know about that bothers me. I wonder often what is out in this universe? What happens if I am wrong about religion and being Atheist. Why isn't there an after life? What can I do to feel better about death and not fear it? Thank you everyone!!!
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