What happens if you dont pay your bill for eating at a restaurant?

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ilovechloe's picture
What happens if you dont pay your bill for eating at a restaurant?

I take my friends to a restaurant, & offer to pay for the meal. I pay the bill by cheque, & my friends are happy, because they have gotten a free meal, & the restaurant owner is happy, because he has made a good profit from all the meals sold.

However 3 days later the restaurant owner gets a letter from the bank, saying the cheque has bounced. The restaurant owner is very pissed off. He doesn't care which of the diners pays for the meal, he just wants to get paid.

Not only have I cheated the restaurant owner, I have also cheated my friends, because they did not know I was going to pay with a dud cheque. Next time one of them walks into the restaurant, the owner will hold them responsible for the cost of the meal.

So why do Christians think that Christ has paid for their sins? Christ cheated death, because according to Christian doctrine he was resurrected & is still alive. He has not only cheated all the christian sinners, he also cheated god of payment. God was supposed to receive a non-refundable sacrifice as the price for their sins, but the sacrifice was only temporary. It is analogous to paying with a bounced cheque!

When the jews sacrificed a goat for their sins, they never got the goat back. It was slaughtered, & the meat was then sold by, or eaten by the priests.

God is going to be really pissed when the Christians get to the pearly gates, because he was paid with a Christ that bounced, & god is still going to want payment!

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Sheldon's picture
The whole concept of

The whole concept of vicarious redemption for wrongdoing is about as immoral an idea as humans have ever conceived. That's without the hilarious stupidity of the idea an omniscient deity setting rules it must have known would be broken, even when and how, and then getting angry with the result, and demanding torture, and a blood sacrifice, achieved by taking ghostly form, to impregnate a woman with himself in human form, to appease himself of his own anger, by dying, but not dying, and then demanding we love him even more for this imaginary sacrifice.

Were this sorry and amoral tale not beaten into children from birth, either physically or with a relentless assault on their newly developing intellect, it would inevitably be met with the kind of unabashed laughter and abject disgust, that it thoroughly deserves.

Next time some angry theist troll calls me a militant atheist, I shall take their lead, attend the nearest church, and laugh at their rhetoric until I literally soil myself, and perhaps even after that. I shall chew some gum loudly, so as to have something to leave in the collection tray.

Cognostic's picture
If the goat meat was eaten,

If the goat meat was eaten, wouldn't that be a cheat as well? Everyone knows the butchered goat is going to be eaten afterwards and so serve a social function by feeding the poor. Other than that, I actually like the check analogy as long as all the diners die of food poisoning but are resurrected. Then when they have their next meal in the restaurant, they can all claim, "That was the old us. We are now reborn and forgiven. We are under a new covenant and what happened before no longer matters. NOW BRING US OUR FOOD!!"

ilovechloe's picture
The Goat that was sacrificed

The Goat that was sacrificed as a sin offering isnt returned to the person offering the sacrifice. It was butchered & eaten by the Priests, or sold as meat to the public. If the sinner wanted the Goat back as meat he would have to buy it back, but presumably they wouldnt know if they were getting their own goat meat or somebody elses goat meat back, becaue it would be mixed with all the other goat meat. If it was just given back to them, then that would be a cheat, & no longer classified as a sin offering.

So by Jesus being resurrected, that too would have to be a cheat. You don't get to pay for sins by sacrificing your life, & then getting your life back!

Just another reason of many that the whole idea of Jesus being a redemptive sacrifice makes absolutely no sense!

Grinseed's picture
Of course it was a cheat.

Of course it was a cheat.
To follow the restaurant motif, the theists will tell you, there was no dud cheque, Jesus had a customer loyalty coupon for a free meal and besides he is the owner/manager's son. Jesus hands out bogus coupons to his buddies all the time when they do as he says or simply praise him.
If you have any more queries I will be out back in Hell's kitchen washing dishes for eternity.

Tin-Man's picture
@Grin Re: "If you have any

@Grin Re: "If you have any more queries I will be out back in Hell's kitchen washing dishes for eternity."

Tell Chef Ramsay I said hello. Oh, and please let him know I may be a little late for my shift. I just realized my passport to hell has expired, and I have to go get it renewed. And you know how long THAT can sometimes take... *rolling eyes*...

Grinseed's picture

if you're not coming in to do your shift I'd rather not tell his satanic majesty Ramsay. The afterlife is hard enough as it is. Last time I told him you were having a day off I ended up having to lick the Gehenna garbage bins clean.

Anyway, it would not be wise for you to return.

I'll just tell him the Celestial Kitchen Help Agency landed you a job at the Happy Buddha Noodle Shack where you're being eternally recycled as a Naraka kama rice pot.

Tin-Man's picture
@Grin Re: "I'll just tell

@Grin Re: "I'll just tell him the Celestial Kitchen Help Agency landed you a job at the Happy Buddha Noodle Shack..."

Hey, thanks, man. But, uhhh... *shifting uneasily from foot to foot*... *rubbing back of neck*... I don't know.... It just seems soooo... Well, it just feels wrong lying like that to The Dark Prince of Soul Fillets. After all, despite his dreadful disposition at times, you have to admit our Cloven-hooved Commander of the Eternal Barbeque Pit has always been straight-up with us about everything.... *scratching head in contemplation*... So, uh, look... I really appreciate your willingness to run interference for me, but I just wouldn't feel right having you compromise your personal integrity like that. Guess I'll just have to bite the bullet on this one and call the Furious Fryer myself. I just hope when I get there he doesn't stick me in the dining room dispensing condiments again. Between the extra-concentrated wasabi and that special "Hella-Hot Nuclear Lava" dipping sauce, my internal storage tanks and valves get totally wrecked... *grooooan*... *hand over belly*...

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