Step Into The Light
You shame yourself; consider yourself a failure; are regretful of actions you have committed and continue to commit; are hopeless; depressed; hesitant, fearful, anxious; have a broken spirit and a past on which you fixate, that cannot be undone.
Your life is dark and dreary.
You are pejoratively nicknamed (depending on the substance[s] to which you are addicted) a druggie, tweaker, smackhead, stoner, pothead, crackhead, raven, flipper, banger, slammer, psychonaut, polyuser, and/or a gabber (among a profusion of other contumelious nicknames of which I am also scornful).
In the shadow of society you are domiciled: shunned, excommunicated. A criminal you are deemed. How so alone you must feel! What the people (the masses are asses) forget is that society is comprised of people: the addict included; without people, society would not exist. Rather than debase and cast aspersions on you, the people should encourage you to step into the light.
I feel for you; I truly do.
But will you not step into the light?
Relapse is Part of Recovery
You are human.
And I love you.
I want you to have a rich, fulfilling life, happy, and free from addiction.
But you are the change you seek; no one else can change you.
You want to change? Then accept you have an addiction, surrender to your addiction, and seek help. Commit to recovery. Commit to sobriety. Distance yourself from people who buy, sell, and trade drugs. Avoid locales where you bought, sold, and traded drugs. Develop a strong support network.
Stop lying to yourself. Learn to develop healthy coping skills. Do not mask the pain. Wear it, verbalize it. Learn to see life through a different lens. Life does not owe you anything; you owe life everything.
Relapse is part of recovery; it is progress. Do not self-damn if you relapse. You cannot take two steps forward without taking one step back. Remember this.
Establish long-term and short-term goals and objectives, and track your progress.
Learn to forgive yourself.
Practice letting go.
You Will Know When You Are Ready
I am a Substance Abuse Counselor (CADC Candidate), and this is what I have observed:
The addict who refuses to help him/herself cannot be counseled.
The addict who has surrendered, which requires a great deal of humility, to his/her addiction, can.
Surrendering begets recovery. Surrendering begets sobriety.
You will know when you are ready.
The darkest hour is just before the storm