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Donating = Loving
Bringing you atheist articles and building active godless communities takes hundreds of hours and resources each month. If you find any joy or stimulation at Atheist Republic, please consider becoming a Supporting Member with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good dinner.
Donating = Loving
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Good one, Fishy. LOL
While I admit I may not always be very funny, THIS sure as hell IS....
Attachments
Attach Image/Video?:
I woke up funny this morning. But then it started to hurt.
@ Cog
What the fuck? Hilarious!!!!!!!
I think I am capable of being very funny. Just not consistently funny. My muse appears to me occasionally! She is beautiful!
"Her name is Lydia!"
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n4zRe_wvJw8
I adore them! Have seen all their movies multiple times. Their humor never gets old.
I love the MARX Brothers.
This is my favorite bit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHmesxUDVz4
So this is like a secret atheist safe space lol?
John: As far as I have seen, you are not funny.
John, if you ever post in the Atheist Hub again, I will ban you. Stop, immediately.
:)) john is threaten by cyberln is funny :))
@Ranjeet Re: John getting scolded
Yeah, that gave me a good belly laugh. I just keep picturing a little boy getting caught peeking through the curtains in the women's dressing room. LOL
worst part is, caught him ejaculating while peeking....hahaha..
john is the one of a kind.. T-man
@Q Re: John
I just hope he didn't see all the naked animals we have running around in here. That would have been embarrassing.
Marx Brothers are great but I prefer SPAM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE
I like Monty Python as well. The fact is that modern humor like Python built on those that came before them. The Marx Brothers were pioneers that got their sense of humor from Vaudville.
My friends usually laugh at my jokes, I am not sure if that qualifies me as a funny person, and for sure I'm funnier in my own language, given that I have more linguistic resources.
Sense of humour, as you guys pointed out, has to do with age, but sometimes also with the country, the culture and the language... I am used to British and American comedy, as well as my own country's, but when I try to show those videos that I find hilarious to some fellow Spaniards, they look at me as if it was something wrong with me hehe.
You are right Flamenca, but some people transcend language and nationality.
There was a very funny Mexican who did a skit. Now I don't speak a lick of Spanish but I understood and laughed my ass off. The skit was about a guy whose wife always nagged him so he would leave and get drunk. He came home late and found that his wife had locked him out of the house. He found a ladder and attempted to go through the top window but when he reached the top the ladder split in two and he fell two stories down. Very funny. So he tried the back door and he successfully unlocked the door and he opened it only to find his wife had nailed boards across the inside of the door. So next he goes into to the shed and you could hear a chainsaw.
The next scene is the next morning and his wife wakes up surprised to see her husband asleep in bed. She looks over at the bedroom wall and sees a hole perfectly cut to the shape of her husband. That was hilarious!
@Mykcob4, yes, some jokes go beyond borders. You mentioned Monty Phython before, that's a good example. I opened a thread a few months ago to choose one's favorite joke in "Life Of Brian". As a person who is an ex RCC and has lived surrounded of RCCs her whole Life, I find particularly amusing also this Monty Phython's video from "The Meaning of Life":
https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk
Enjoy
How would you like to spend eternity with THIS guy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI1mqXmoBcM
Doctor approaches his patient....
DOCTOR: i have a bad new for you.
PATIENT: am i dying doc?how long have I got left?
DOCTOR: ...five(5)...
PATIENT: 5 years? 5 months?
the doctor started counting...
DOCTOR: 5, 4, 3, 2 -
~
Guy goes to the doctor for a stomach ache. After running several tests, the doc comes in and tells the guy, "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we will be naming a new disease after you..."
Anatomy of a joke!
Most jokes are in 3 segments. Each segment is funny in itself but not truly a joke. The 2nd segment is funnier than the first but isn't the punchline. The first 2 segments prepare the audience for the 3rd so not only do they anticipate a punchline but are prepared to enjoy and laugh at it.
Oneliners: Henny Youngman was famous for "one-liners". "Take my wife. Please." It's actually a two-liner but it is said in a continuous form.
Comedians of today don't tell jokes. They tell funny stories. Some use a formula wherein a joke is told within the story and at the end of the story it is brought back around to reinstate that joke.
In all these forms rhythm and pauses are essential. This is called "timing". A comic with impeccable timing is easy to understand and there are no uncomfortable pauses unless it is constructed for a building laugh such as a Jack Benny stare. Some people think that Groucho Marx possessed the best timing. I tend to agree. But his was a rapid-fire approach. Groucho's genius was wordplay. A typical Groucho joke was "Is Peter O'Tool redundant?" Groucho also invented the "pat comment". Frat boys often use the "pat comment" of "That's what he said" to follow any sexual innuendo.
Example:
Person 1 "That's awfully big" (commenting on something like a bridge)
Frat boy "That's what she said"
Groucho use to do the same thing but instead of "That's what she said" he would say in his best New York accent "That's the dirtiest joke I have ever heard"!
Okay, so in college, I took a course for wastewater treatment. As part of the course, we toured a wastewater facility. As we got farther and farther through the process, the screens got finer and finer. Finally, at about 1/8" mesh, a girl in the back of the group spoke up to ask..... "Where did all the corn come from"???
Thought were going to die laughing :-) lol
After a minute or so, the girl turned beat red with embarrassment, and never made another peep the rest of the tour :-)
I hope that wasn't too corny :-) lol
Mmmmm..... Coooorn.... Mmmmmm.... *drool*
Sitting in Health Class in sixth grade, and we were discussing the basic food groups. Toward the end, the teacher asked if anybody had any questions. After two or three questions were fielded, one of the girls raiseed her hand rather timidly. The teacher acknowledged her and she asked, "Mr. Sanford, what is the difference between a cow that gives white milk and a cow that gives chocolate milk?"....... Stunned dead silence in the class for about five seconds.... until one person snickered. Then everybody lost it. Meanwhile, the teacher is standing there with his jaw on the floor and a painfully confused look on his face. And then it got even better, because the girl looked around in genuine confusion and stated, "What? Why is everybody laughing?" (She was absolutely serious.) At that point, the teacher's eyes glazed over, and he turned around facing the chalkboard, and promptly began banging his head against it repeatedly. THOUGHT...I...WAS...GONNA...DIE. I may have ended up on the floor. I don't remember.
An Old guy goes into Victoria Secret.
The sales girls ask "can I help you."
Old Guy "I want to buy a bra for my girlfriend."
Salesgirl " What size is she?"
Old Guy "I don't know."
Salesgirl "Well are her breast like grapefruits?"
Old guy "No."
Salesgirl "Are they like oranges?"
Old guy "No."
Salesgirl "Well are they like hard-boiled eggs?"
Old guy "No...have you ever seen the ears of a Bassett Hound? They are like that."
True story. Happened to me yesterday...
On the way home and stopped at a restaurant to get a bite to eat. Walked in and the hostess greeted me, then started leading me to a table. Along the way she was doing her duty by telling me of the special of the day. As we neared my table she was explaining the dessert options. Upon reaching the table she motioned toward a young female who appeared to be tending to some customers a couple of tables across from mine and she told me, "Kimberly there will be your dessert today.".... I stopped dead still in my tracks and stood ramrod straight while looking toward the hostess with my head slightly tilted to the side and one eyebrow raised in a perplexed expression. The hostess- immediately realizing what she had said - covered the lower half of her face with the menu she was carrying and started turning bright red with her eyes wide with shock and embarrassment. After a few awkward seconds of us standing there looking at each other, the hostess quickly set the menu on the table, muttered something about "she'll be with you in a moment", and then did an abrupt about-face and beat a hasty retreat. Then, a few seconds before my waitress came to my table, I saw the hostess approach her and whisper something in her ear, causing the waitress to look shocked and glance back at me. Oddly enough, she was very friendly toward me the entire time. (VERY friendly) I was chuckling to myself about that all through my meal. (And, NO, I did not risk ordering dessert after my meal. LOL)
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