Hi, so yeah, um. I used to be a Christian because you know, my family's Christian and we live in a mainly Christian country. I think I've been like questioning religion ever since I was third grade? Lol. And just recently, or 2 years ago I guess, I decided not to believe in the Bible anymore and just believe in God. I share it with the friends around me and they were accepting, thankfully. But of course I know I won't ever tell my parents, or family, for that matter. I go to church with them once a week. They push me to join the choir or just, serve in church. But no, they're not the kind of parents who force things on me and I'm thankful for that.

I guess what I'm saying is, more recently, I just question myself. If God has plans for all of us, then did he plan for someone to die at such a young age? Get raped when barely a year old and then just die? Be trash for their whole lives? Be a mass murderer with 10+ victims?

And if there is a Satan, and people say he's the one tempting humans to do these horrible things, then wouldn't he be, Idk, overjoyed because we were tempted and party for us in hell instead of punishing us for an eternity? And at this point, heaven just really sounded boring for me. Happy for eternity just because of a life worth of good deeds? Wouldn't that just be a second life? And just create more problems? I actually like the idea of reincarnation better. And who would want to be happy for eternity? I'm pretty sure most people get tired of that sooner or later.

Really I'm just ranting lol. Just uh, wanted to get it out there I think. So yeah, at this point, I guess I'm agnostic. And, I don't really want to tell these things anymore to my friends haha. I have a Christian bf, and so far, he's been pretty accepting, but I think even he doesn't like my rants sometimes. Didn't know where to put these random thoughts so I just looked for a forum and found this. Welp, uh, thanks for reading.