I am a teen atheist. I am still in the closet from a conservative Christian family. I have thoroughly thought of my situation, and decided that I will not come out until I am financially independent. That being said, I still wish to converse with some fellow atheists, as I feel alone and scared everyday of the judgement that I might be subjected too. In other words, I guess I am looking for a friend who is also atheist. I don't wish for this thread to be filled with hostile debates, I wish for it to be a place, where all atheists who fear persecution, can openly voice their grief. That they may come together in harmony, and all be in a place where they are accepted. To anyone who enters, thank you.
Subscription Note:
Choosing to subscribe to this topic will automatically register you for email notifications for comments and updates on this thread.
Email notifications will be sent out daily by default unless specified otherwise on your account which you can edit by going to your userpage here and clicking on the subscriptions tab.
Welcome Seenyab4
Welcome to the forum.
If you are set on coming out, it's a wise choice that you want to be financially independent before you come out. It could also be a good idea to wait until you have some form of a non-religious social network.
I consider myself very lucky to not have to live as a closet atheist.
I'm not a closet atheist and you've probably found these...
http://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/#home
http://www.atheistrepublic.com/consulates
but welcome to the forum.
Thank you, everyone, for your warm welcomes. It really means a lot, and yes, I have already looked at those sites, but thank you anyways for suggesting them.
Welcome!
I can sympathize with you when it comes to that, I am also a Teenager (14 years old) and although I don't have a very Religious family they don't take words that contradict God quite kindly.
Have you come out than?
As I said before that they are quite Fundamentalist when it comes to the Contradiction of God's existence... No, I haven't come out yet, as it would risk my entire relationship with the Family Members plus with the Fact that I'm just 14 years old and they wouldn't even believe me (trust me, they always think I'm trying to put up a joke about "God").
I'm going to wait until I am financially independent.... so until then, I won't be telling them anything.
Welcome, Seenyab4. I'm glad you found a place that you can be yourself. It seems like you've really thought through your situation. Have you tried to meet atheists in person in your area? or is that possible for you?
I have looked at a lot of atheist websites that have members meet in certain areas. Unfortunetly, every single one I have looked at, don't have any meeting groups in my area. A lot didn't even have my state listed for meet ups. Thank you for the suggestion though. Also, quick question, have you been to any of these meet ups? If so, what are they like?
In case you haven't tried it, a tip would be to also look for humanists or secular humanists.
Ah thanks, I'll also look into that. Say, I really liked the idea of your new "uplifting news" thread. I tried looking for some good news of my own, but I couldn't seem to find any.
Thanks.
Yes, it's like 1 in a 100 news stories that are positive.
So, for anyone reading, when did you learn you didn't believe, and how?
I never believed. I don't attribute that to some innate difference in myself from others, but instead to my upbringing. I was raised by my grandfather, a former Unitarian minister. As a Unitarian he didn't believe Jesus was God, wasn't convinced the stories about Jesus were true; but believed the bible contained valuable life lessons. Basically the entire bible was presented to me as a series of parables; not unlike the stories of the 3 little pigs (don't build your house out of twigs). The real shock came when I realized that most (if not all) of the children in the community, and worse the adults too, believed that those stories were real.
Wow, your grandfather sounds like a wise man.
I wonder, how did you manage to escape the parental brainwashing and succeed in having your own opinion?
I honestly don't really know. I think it was probably a transition from unfounded belief to founded unbelief. I remember I started asking myself many questions about my assumed religion, especially about ones in the classroom (I go to a catholic school). This led to me doing my research online, and then to my current atheism. It probably started about 1 1/2 years ago, when I told my teacher I was having doubts. This led to her trying to reaffirm my faith by telling me stories of miracles that were "absolute proof of God." I do remember when I fully embraced my atheism, and accepted the fact that I don't believe in a god, that for a brief period, my whole life seemed clearer. Like I was looking at things from a whole new standpoint. My atheism is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
What about you Jophar? Do you have any interesting stories to share? : )
Hello Seenyab4! It can definitely be a tricky decision on if and when to tell your family that you are an atheist. I myself have yet to tell my family, as I'm not yet ready to deal with the possible fallout of doing so. While religion isn't something that is discussed often in my family, my family is highly religious. This creates a scenario where I really don't have to deal with religion often in regards to my family, but coming out as an Atheist could have some large consequences.
Yeah my family is like that as well. While they aren't spouting the word God every 2 seconds they do believe, and make an occasional comment about him. Even though I consider my dad pretty liberal for a conservative, I'd rather not risk it. I am definitely going to tell them sometime in the future, just not until I am ready. It's really unfortunate that freethinkers have to be in the closet like this. They're disliked more than LGBT or members of any other race, and it's just such a shame. We are some of the most logical and reasonable people on this planet, and we are treated like a disease.
@Seenyab4
Don't worry, after I am financially capable I'll tell my family, I'll get out either way and I'll head to U.S.A to become a Atheist Innovator or hopefully a Leader of a Atheist Organization in America.
If that doesn't happen I'll join Politics and try to make a change in the World for the Good of All.
It sounds quite Childish and Unrealistic but it's something I aspire to follow and BE.
With that I intend to Improve the Reputation of Atheism as normal group of People following Rationality and Consideration rather than Belief in Fairy Tales.
I deeply admire your commitment to the atheist movement, it is truly a great thing when someone such as yourself aspires to defend himself and others like him from the bigotry of others. Unfortunetly, I can't say that I have the same resolve. While I will definitely tell my family in the future of my lack of belief, I'm not so sure I would even attempt the goals that you have set out for yourself. I hope it isn't a bad thing when I say that after I am adult, I might just move out of my country (U.S.A.) to start a new life somewheres else. Especially if my family disowns me, which I'm kinda 50/50 on.
The important thing to remember is that if your family disowns you, that is a problem with their thinking and beliefs, and not yours. The U.S. is becoming more and more accepting as time goes on, and hopefully the acceptance of Atheists will become normal as well. Just try to be yourself, but pick your battles as well. At 31 I have yet to tell my family, but I feel having a good relationship with them is more important to me (at this time) than being open about my beliefs and possibly not having a good relationship with them.
Hmmm. Those are strong points as well, I'll have to think on it more.
I came out as atheist when I was 14 and the blowback from my family was difficult, as they just wrote me off and never treated me the same again. So i can sympathize with your experience. I just want to let you know that i am here to offer whatever support or advice that I can. And just know that you are not alone.
Thank you Alpha, it means a lot to know I'm not the only one, and that there are people I can talk to. I can't imagine telling the truth to my parents right now, and I'm 16. Two more years I'll be a legal adult, but probably still dependent. I wanted to ask, since you're out of the closet for a few years at least. How is your relationship with your family now? If it is too personal of a question, don't force yourself to answer.
Anyways, thank you for the support, and if there are any questions you might have for me, feel free to ask.
Not at all i am happy to answer any question you have. My family is deeply religious and was excited when i started to read the bible for the first time, but it was reading the bible that turned me into an atheist. I simply found the contents to be insane and thought that no reasonable person could honestly believe a single word of it. So it took me 3 months to finish and after, i approached my parents with questions and quickly discovered that THEY never read it themselves. So when i offerd my new found knowledge they were not pleased, so i pressed on and kept asking them to explain what certian parts meant and why it is that they do not keep to the laws of moses like Jesus clearly intended. They got upset and said that they no longer apply, i told them that it was Pual...not jesus, who said that. This is when they got a smug smirk on their face as if I was the delusional one. So i got upset and askes them how they can believe in a book they have never read? They told me to stop talking about it and just go to Chruch. But i could not go back to a place that actively lied about what's in the bible and I told them that. Ever since then i was the black sheep of my family, and we grew apart. I don't think this is what you wanted to hear but now I am 28 and not close to my family at all, I could accept their biblical ignorance but they could not accept me biblical literacy, as I was a walking reminder of the fact that they never actually read the bible and this made them uncomfortable. But i tell you now, confronting my parents was one of the best things i have done as it taught me to never accept on anyone's authority what is or is not true and that it is better to think for myself. Looking back i see that i shed my chains of ignorance at that time, while my parents learned to love their own. I see them from time to time, but it was never the same between us. But the most important lesson I learned is that if your family chooses God over their own child then they are not parents at all. As they are no longer worthy of that title. As you get older and live on your own you will see this for yourself. But never be afraid of questioning yourself or others around you. You will gain more from honest introspection than any sermom loaded with platitudes and cliches. You are the author of your own life, REGARDLESS of the role they played in raising you, it is on YOU to live your life, because no one could do it for you.
Wow, thank you for telling me. It means a lot to hear what you have been through. I'm deeply sorry over your current alienation from your parents. I know I will tell my parents one day, and I hope they don't react in the same way, but I have this gut feeling that they will. I don't know why either, but I just have this insatiable desire in me to tell my parents now and get it over with. I've fortunately been able to resist it, but I know it will come out one day. I hope I can only do it at the right time.
Thank you for the advice, I think it has really helped me. I hope your parents will try to connect with you in the near future.
I am happy to help. And on my parents I have to admit that I do share in half of the blame, as alienation is a two way street so if anything learn from my mistake and if they treat you like my parents treated me, just stick to the high ground and be a better person than them, and remember that in time you will most likely have a wife and family of your own, so you will not be alone.
Great post A.L.
Pages