Nice to meet you Mae. I don't know if you're new to the forum or not, but if so, welcome to our lovely site. I understand the fear that comes with being a closet atheist as well, it isn't easy. Luckily I only really have two more years before I can get out of the house. At that point it should get easier, since you won't be surrounding yourself with the people you fear will judge you. I've come pretty close to saying some things that would raise questions with my parents, but I usually catch myself and change the topic. It a pretty viable tactic. What really gets me is the constant insecurity, you know. There's not really anyone you can talk to either. Of course, this site is up and I love it, but it's just not the same as talking to a real person face to face. Anyways, enough about my problems. Tell me some of yours, I'd be more than happy to listen and advise, if you wish. : )