I have had issues with what I'm guessing is depression, and I'm doing wonderfully now, but I've recently had a conversation with someone who told me that I was a suicide risk because I was an atheist. I tried to tell him that I was actually much happier with myself now (considering I don't have to live with constant guilt) and the only reason that I have emotional issues regarding atheism is when people cannot accept me for who I am, and tell me I am going to hell, or call me a liar. I know with my head that he was just trying to manipulate my feelings, but it worked and I was hoping I could find some validation. I can't go to a psychologist about this, I live in an almost entirely christian town, and I'm worried any doctor I talk to won't have any interest in actually helping me. I can't go to my family, because even though they love me, they will agree with this stranger, I just want to feel validated and I really don't know where else to turn.

I've said it before and will say it again, atheism is an internal declaration of non-belief. It isn't something that needs to be paraded as a shout out or otherwise. It's all internal. It's not a badge, a goofy logo on a t-shirt or a sporty ball cap. If made public it takes you from atheism to anti-theism in a heartbeat merely by announcing it and defending yourself against any rebuttals it stirs up. Don't back yourself into an emotional corner.

Anti-theism is not for everyone. If you are weak of character you will lose the emotional battle any self-respecting Christian has been soldiered to fight; especially if mounted by someone dear to you. No one is trained to be an atheist or anti-theist. No conventions have ever been established for them and defending them against a faith-based army can only be done by the most savvy of us who have read the historical record that shatters their doctrines. It requires more from you than your own sense of logic when defending yourself against any theist propaganda machinery.

If you are not savvy and ready to fight your own battles then lay low and keep quiet. In the meantime, study up. Material is everywhere these days that will dissect doctrines and call every bit of it into question. If nothing else, any theist-mounted attack will fail to move you in any manner simply through the knowledge you've acquired and the strength of truth it gives you.

As a person who had clinical depressive anxiety before giving up my faith, I can understand were your coming from. I to suffered a period of even greater depression afterwards, but for a very short time. Once I became active in the community here, that additional depression went away. In fact, being a part of this has even helped me through (and is still helping me cope) with my depressive anxiety. As I've seen, everyone here is welcoming you with open arms (expected). So I say, welcome to the AR family.

Dear Gina, I can relate to anxiety and depression, as I've had both. I have recently come out as an atheist. When I was in my agnostic phase, I dealt with a lot of doubt, worry, shame, and guilt because I felt that by leaving the church and religious community I'd be losing a part of myself. Living in a small, religious town where I am the only "out" atheist really does feel lonely sometimes, so I come here, on this site. It's okay to feel grief. It is normal. Question everything, and gain scientific knowledge of everything so that if your daughter asks you why you don't believe in god you can give her an honest and logical answer. Remember that those who are gone may never come back, but those memories live within us.

The thing I have about heaven/hell is this: if it is real, by some crazy, illogical reason, and every living thing goes one or the other, would it not get overpopulated? If, for example, Jimmy went to Heaven and the rest of his family went to Hell, would he be happy all alone? Whether one goes to heaven or hell, or even the infamous purgatory, wouldn't those "dead living things" get bored?

I may have started to get off topic and I apologize, but if you ever need someone to talk to Gina, I'm here. :)

Gina, for your situation, I feel you must be having a Hard time. I say so because, I myself am kinda going through depression (not a very big one), sometimes I feel like just jumping off a Rock or just Wander and get lost somewhere into the World.
The weird thing is the word "School" just deepens my depression.
I don't know why, but for some reason I hate School, it "teaches" (it's just learning to remember actually) but I just hate it, just by looking at it opening and hearing it's bells just gives me the Aura of depression.

But anyways, I left Religion at quite a young age (8-9 years old) and just like you I had Fear of Death, is it just Die and then Poof into non-existence? Heh, although it was fearful, it also boosts Me to appreciate the Life I have as One and Last, so I started caring less every day about Dying and the "Afterlife".
But as you leave Religion it is quite sure that you're leaving a way of life, by joining Atheism you're joining another way of life.

You need to start building your way of Life on the sole Foundation of Atheism if you intend to do so, a life which you intend to Live, for you and your daughter (I trust you'll at least teach her about Atheism before letting her go on her way in life).
There are Dark days in Life, that's a thing for sure, but that's only a signal to a Brighter Day, so keep Hope together.

Your problem isn't that you've lost faith. It's that you have gained a different perspective. What you lost was the security of the community that you were and actually are still in. I am a nonbeliever in a world or believers. I interact with them, actually seek out counsel from some of them. Comfort comes in many ways. For me, it is seeing things clearly.
For example, I have a muslim friend that I talk to every day. We talk politics, religion, news, current issues. I recently lost my father. My muslim friend recently lost his father. Both of us made huge sacrafices to care for our fathers over the last 5 or so years. We don't share faith, or religion, or even a common culture, but we have more in common than our differences. he and I can talk freely about anything with each other, because we have built a mutual respect and have found common ground that we share. So my advice to you is to keep your friends, find more and new friends, find common ground, and build relationships with respect and trust. Eventually you can share even you deepest thoughts or fears with those people. They will help you to see things clearly without compromising you ideals.

Yes, I can understand you that what are you felling right now? It's not easy to for anyone to gain the faith if you have lost it. But I'll suggest you first know about the christianity by the following article then you will feel good I promise you will not regret.

Christianity

Two thousand years ago, Jesus planted a twig, from the tree of Judaism, in Palestine. Today, the twig has grown into a big tree called Christianity, which is the most widely practised religion today. Around one-third population of the earth is Christian.
The New Testament is the core scripture of Christians and has guided them during the last two thousand years. This is a collection of Christian literature and has 27 books named after their authors: Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, etc. Most authors were the disciples of Jesus; they transcribed these books within a few decades after the demise of Jesus. They precisely documented the life story, teachings and miracles of Jesus. Despite certain dissimilarities, all the books have narrated a common story. The authors wrote these in Greek, not in Aramaic—the language spoken by Jesus and his disciples. After thirteen hundred years, scholar John Wycliffe translated the Bible into English.

According to the Bible, the angel Gabriel visited a virgin named Mary and informed that God had chosen her to bear His Son. Thus, Mary gave birth to Jesus by God’s miracle. Historians know very little about the early life of Jesus and do not know the exact year of his birth. It is believed that Jesus was born within three years of his popularly accepted year of birth—the zero year of the Gregorian calendar.

You can read full article on:
http://theevolutionofgods.com/christianity-2/

Thanks