We live a Domestic Discipline lifestyle and I wondered how many people live this lifestyle?
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1950princess are you into a xtian DD retaltionship model?
Wow- This looks positively creepy and demeaning... "I think that today alot [sic] of women are turning to this lifestyle as life has become too demanding for modern women." Really? How quaint. What they obviously need is discipline: "...the wife has a set of rules to follow laid down by the husband. These rules are usually decided by the couple but the ultimate end result is always decided by the HOH (Head of household). The wife has to stick to these rules otherwise she faces the consequences for her actions."
So what's the first consequence listed? Spanking. Mind you, this seems to be for adult women... "SPANKING - This is the main punishments that we and most DD couples use. For me this is mainly used as a result of bratty behaviour. It is always done over the knee and normally lasts for 5-15 minutes. The most important part of this punishment is the cuddle afterwards. This lets me know that the rule breaking is forgiven. The spanking is always given with the hand or if it is serious then a wooden hairbrush is used but this is very rare and only for something very serious, for example if I was to swear at SirDD."
I'm really hoping this is a parody site.
Well, well, well....what happens between consenting adults is, ultimately, none of my business. However comma if someone teaches their children that this is okay then I have a big, fat problem with it. Editorially, anyone who would engage in this behavior willingly is wack-a-doodle (wack-a-doodle being the psychiatric term for nut job).
I see nothing that could qualify this behavior if willingly participated in as a mental disorder. CyberLN how is this practice "wack-a-doodle?"
DD is differnt than S&M role playing. It is a 24/7/365 lifestyle. It most frequently indicates an aversion to intimacy in the HoH (male) and a fragile ego structure on the part of the female. It places the wife in a position of child rather than partner and the male in a position of parent. Many, as do I, consider it abuse. This corporal punishment is used for control. The wife has no option to say 'stop'. It teaches children that a woman is a lesser person and deserves to be hit. I see no fundamental difference between it and forcing a woman to wear a burqa.
Exactly. People sometimes stay in abusive relationships because they have become convinced they deserve their mistreatment. That may not be a mental disorder per se either - but it can strongly suggest the presence of emotional issues that could indicate or inflict damage.
Many of us object when women in certain religions are socially forced to dress a certain way and walk 10 steps behind their husbands while being told it's because they are so special. Plus there are scriptures that explain exactly how men are to beat women in certain situations. Yes, many "willingly" participate in this, and it's legal to do so. Most of them probably don't have mental disorders, but lots of us see it as an uncivilized and dehumanizing form of oppression.
Legal or not, mental disorder or not, a relationship based on power in place of respect isn't a healthy adult relationship model. Just my opinion, of course, and I'm not a mental health professional.
Neither am I a mental health expert. However, as a survivor of domestic abuse and a former criminal justice professional, and having worked in the mental health arena, this behavior, according to everything I have experienced, seen, and heard, is abuse. Anyone's 'willingness' to participate in this is, from what I have discovered, is not healthy. I grieve for both women an men who think that it is righteous and appropriate. No one should be subject to treatment that communicates they are less that fully human, less than they are valuable to anyone else, that it is appropriate for another, based on something such as gender, to hold sway over them.
I find this a bit "odd". I have always felt like a relationship had to be built on respect, trust, and honesty. If not, you have an arrangement. My wife would tell you that I'm head of house, but I see us partners and we take care of each other. Decisions are made together. This DD seems to cater to someone with power control issues. I certainly find it deeming to women for them to be put into such a role and may borderline slavery.
Again, if the two adults willingly agree to the parameters of such a relationship and do not harm others, then it is not an issue for me.
Anyone notice how creepily this style of relationship mirrors theism? (You knew I'd say it at some point)
In principle I would agree with you. I really don't want the church or state micro managing peoples lives. As long as they agree and can walk away, I don't care. I think the subjective qualifier "do no harm" is were some people will run into problems.
Again, I do not think there is as much 'willingness to participate' in this as you might think. Men who wish to subjugate and women who seek to be subjugated as a 24/7/365 lifestyle have ego structure issues. They have been taught that they reside above or below someone else on a totem pole of value based on gender. I see no difference between it and, say considering someone more or less valuable based on race. These women have been taught they do not have the capacity to self-regulate, that they must be managed by a male, that they are, in essence, no more capable than a child, that they are not wholly adult, that they are not autonomous, that they are not fully capable of leading their own lives.
Do they 'willingly' do this? They are as willing as any woman in any relationship that includes domestic violence who doesn't get out of it. They can't...for many reasons. Self-defense notwithstanding, men who participate do so as willingly as any man who engages in any physical violence.
Additionally, the only difference between DD and so many of the sharia laws is one of degree.
Teaching the children of these couples that this is acceptable is abhorrent! It is a step backward in the maturation process of the human race. It perpetuates misogyny, it perpetuates violence, it opens the door for an escalation of these things by making it okay.
Just as so many of us who are atheist get that religious apologists throw open the door to religious extremists, DD opens the door to increased oppression and escalated violence.
Should legislation be pursued to stop this? Probably not. Just as we do not legislate in the U.S. that a woman should not wear a burqa. We have laws on the books already (however ineffective) that protect people from domestic violence when/if they are able to conjure the strength to say no and get out.
IMO, DD is wrong, and I will continue to shout from the rooftops how damaging I think It is.
My disagreement was already stated and my reasons were already given, although you've made some interesting anecdotal statements on why you do not support this. I'd like it if1950princess actually told us more of her thoughts.
Anecdotal? Let's try statistical. 1950princess will not, I'd bet, respond.
Are you a feminist?
" They have been taught that they reside above or below someone else on a totem pole of value based on gender. I see no difference between it and, say considering someone more or less valuable based on race. These women have been taught they do not have the capacity to self-regulate, that they must be managed by a male, that they are, in essence, no more capable than a child, that they are not wholly adult, that they are not autonomous, that they are not fully capable of leading their own lives."-
That doesn't speak of statical data but rather of opinion and possibly, your life experiences in this issue.