I have Persistent Pain issues, so what this means is that my nervous system is negatively primed to experience things in a hypersensitive way. It is like my fear-o-meter is on high alert all the time. I have been on a journey for the past 2 years learning to reset this meter. I have done a lot of work in the physical body, but my emotional self is a whole other story.
I grew up in a Dutch Christian Reformed church, this is based in Calvinism (good works get you closer to God) I would say it was a typical Christian upbringing. Church twice on sundays, private christian school. Regular input that atheists and non believers are going to burn in hell. I would say it was definitely a fear based raising, but not in the way that I was afraid for my safety. I was "Safe" physically, but afraid all the time. I was afraid of not being good enough, for my parents or for God. My self esteem was non existent.
I slowly left the church and faith. It took me many many years to retrain my thinking, and Im still working on it.
So what advice do you all have for me in not being afraid. I have deep sense of fear about what could come next and if I am capable of dealing with it. I don't trust my body (lots of illness, persistent pain), this makes me afraid of being able to support myself. I have a lot of fears about money and security. Since losing the whole "just trust in god and it will work out" ethos, how do I replace this thought train?
I also realize that I have mild anxiety issues, but this is part of that picture. Part of having anxiety is recognizing triggers and dealing with them.
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