Anne : "I'm an atheist or at least I think I am, and I am part of a very religious family who I can't stand being around because of their views. EVERYTHING is about Jesus with them. I am saving to move away from them and quit my job (at a church of all places) but until then I have to keep my mouth shut and keep my head down. How do you deal with religious family without going completely crazy?"

I turned 16 in 1975. As a very young person I grew up near a super liberal university that was the alma mater of Abbie Hoffman. I was enamored of the 1960's youth rebellion and was considered by my high school peers as a throwback to the "60's. I considered myself so once Reagan took office in 1980. Reagan was like Nixon with a good make-up artist. I had a lot of fun mocking that mo-fo.

What is distressing to me at my late age is seeing the young people with less (not more) cultural vehicles for dissent and free expression. We had motto's and bumper stickers such as "Question Authority" and "Die Yuppie Scum" to embolden us. At 19 years old I decided to never argue about religion with my father as I thought he was going to stroke out. I love the old fart. He is a Pentecostal preacher but I never wanted to slay him with my superior understanding of religion.He has reactive high blood pressure and a vein bulges out on his forehead when he loses his cool. So to this day I pity my family for their gullibility and will not contest with them except for the occasional biting satirical jab.

Where did we go wrong that the cultural pendulum has swung so far back to the iron aged worldview and young people are afraid to upset to the status quo of their parents? When did dissent crawl back into the closet? Maybe we have become too civil and accommodating. As I remember it : One half of the peace sign was the middle finger.

If you have firm on your atheism and have satisfactory condition in your own skin,no need to shut your mouth or down your head,if anyone in your family or friends trying to pressurize you on religious boundaries,you challenge them with your logic and give them offer to debate in friendly environment,if they are not ready to accept or at least respect diffrence of opinion than you will have a right to reply them that atheist also have right to live as theist got rights.

ANNE read my bio on this site. I did keep my views secret as no one bothered to ask for many years. I'm glad that you are married and your husband seems to have a similar out look. That is very important, you need each other. Your safety is number one. If you must leave one day in the middle of the night do it. Now that I have come out with my wife and children it is much easier. I am 45 so my age is probably working to my advantage. I must admit there are still many situations I just "Pretend" to make others happy. Such as when we are gathered I will go through grace, bow my head and say amen. It is a good example of keeping my head down. I do not do it to mislead them or lie, but rather just not to make a big issue of my non-belief. I am slowly dropping Very, very, subtle hints as the opportunities arise by making jokes about Christians with my closer family who still just assume I am a believer. Its has been two years since I have came out. Just remember to be very careful. People are often more emotional about their beliefs when is comes to religion. People have not uncommonly KILLED their loved ones because they were afraid they might go to Hell. Get far enough away that your actions are not constantly under scrutiny. Some times this may only be 50-100 miles in the next town. A new job is often a good excuse to move. This is often far enough to live on your own but close enough you can see your family as you wish. Good Luck.