How I feel about my atheism

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Mozart Link's picture
How I feel about my atheism

I'm an atheist and even though I'm well aware of the fact that there is no afterlife and that we have to make the best of the life we have, this is how I feel anyway. Even though I'm an atheist, I truly wish I wasn't. I'd rather be the dumbest person on Earth who believes in a God and afterlife than be a smart young man who is logical and doesn't believe. I have chronic depression and I feel that since this is the only life of enjoyment you have and pleasure is the very reason we live, depression is what takes away this only life of enjoyment you have. Since this is the only life of enjoyment you have, I feel that this life should be fully enjoyed (perfect) in the sense of there being no depression to hold any of your pleasure back. Of course, you could ignore any problems in your life (even a problem in this case that takes away your very reason of living) and choose to focus on the bit of pleasure and other things you already have in this life.

But take, for example, someone who has severe chronic depression that lasts their entire life and they can't hardly enjoy anything, just for this person to know that there is an afterlife in which they can experience full joy for all eternity would be of severe benefit and would severely benefit me in my case because not only would they experience full joy for all eternity, but this would also make up for everything that they lost in this life. The last thing that such a person would ever want to hear would be "make the best of this life" when they hardly even have this ability at all. Even that ability itself has been almost completely taken away by depression as well.

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Zaphod's picture
I hear people say things that

I hear people say things that relate to your problem all the time with intelligence does come the ability to see all that is wrong with the world and it does become hard to ignore, though its easy to see how ignorant people can be happier with way less effort than it takes intelligent people to be smart. there is a saying "you can't un-know something" one can only forget until they are reminded.

All said though there are plenty of intelligent and ignorant people in both theist and atheist camps being intelligent also opens you to being able to have lots of fun the mindless closed minded and ignorant may not even be aware of .

Use your intelligence to find things you enjoy and get to enjoying them, this is much harder than it sounds but well worth the effort. If you don't enjoy anything try to find things you don't enjoy and perhaps you will find pleasure having a small influence ie suffering homelessness hunger ect... the list goes on and on. I don't have all the answers nobody does but no matter what try to focus on what you can do rather than what you can't. It may take a long time to find what works for you but what I have found in my 30yr. pursuit of happiness is, from what I hear from the happiest people I know is, there is a lot of joy to be gained by helping people in need as its much easier for some reason to help others than it is to help yourself. By this I don't mean sending some money to some nonprofit and calling it a day, but what I mean is actually getting involved in a real meaningful hands-on way. Unfortunately, I wish there were more atheist organizations to help make this easier. It seems like everywhere I look there are charities that you can volunteer with or contribute to but most seem to have some sort of agenda that they are covertly trying to push or finance.

Anurraagg Kumar's picture
Can't really add to what

Can't really add to what Zaphod said. I had the same problem and that is what I did. It doesn't really go away but I can handle it much better now. Make new friends, talk, read, swim, play. One thing I miss is reading the news daily. I only do it once every two to four days depending on how down I feel. I have completely stopped watching TV news tho.

For all the pain I have never wished that I was a believer because I know I would be dragging down several others with me and that, to my present self, is far more painful.

Joyce Mallare's picture
I have been an Atheist for

I have been an Atheist for over a year now. I am 17 years old and I live in the Philippines, a country in which religion is a priority. I told my friends my views about religion and they were shocked because it is unlikely for someone who lives in a religious country to be an Atheist.
My family don't know about this and I don't think I'll be letting them know either. I just want to avoid discussions and misunderstanding because Atheism is quite unpopular here.
Sometimes when I'm alone I think to myself " Is there really a god? ". Then I remember how much I used to pray to him and I keep having internal debates on whether I believe in god or not.
I am quite confused.

Zaphod's picture
What your going through is

What your going through is normal and often atheist will wish there was a god they could turn to just if for nothing else to vent or pray for a way out of a situation. Religion is such a large part of society that it can almost convince you at times. At least you have found some people to talk things out things with online if you you want to, a community you can turn to when you need people to talk with. I totally understand the whole not wanting your family in on the whole atheism thing. Welcome by the way!

Hamdi's picture
Just don't believe in that

Just don't believe in that thing which is an electronic firing in your brain called "god"
There is no such real thing as "god" and science has been proving that everyday, but you can't take away a belief from people specially if it's a legacy as the "god" concept is.In addition, it's very comfortable to think of an afterlife and this life is just the beginning, the human nature is thirsty for immortality.This thirst was the bases of the foundation of all religions and the thought of the existence of a creator.I came from a Muslim background when i was not using my brain, but once you think clearly and free your mind of all boundaries, you will definitely find out that all what you used to believe in without even asking or searching is nothing but superstitions and bullshit.

Ellie Harris's picture
I don't know if there is a

I don't know if there is a god or not but I'll try to find out. That would be a good start and in the mean time take care of yourself and try to fully enjoy this existence would not hurt.

Bruce Mayne's picture
Well, hello there! I also

Well, hello there! I also live in the Philippines, atheist as well, but unlike you, I haven't told anyone that I am an atheist. The reason for this is because I am being cautious and I am trying not to tell anyone because I don't want my parents to know about it. Lucky you, you are free from Sunday masses, Prayers for every god damn holiday, and so much more. I see that you are quite an agnostic atheist and not just an atheist although I might be wrong. And you said you are confused, that's why I recommend reading: http://coolatheism.com/a-believers-guide-onto-why-some-people-are-atheists/

It's A Believer's guide on why some people are atheists. It's just a short read and isn't really complicated to understand. Maybe this will give you an insight. :D

LinconHashew's picture
Religion is a belief system

Religion is a belief system invented by primitive man to explain the inexplicable and used by the elite to subordinate the masses. Sorry for the neo-Marxist rhetoric, but it's true.

Throughout history religion has caused as much death, destruction and human suffering as all the epidemics and natural disasters combined.

If one wants to find evidence for the non-existence of God, just visit Auschwitz.

LinconHashew's picture
Where was God

Where was God
The day of the Tsunami?
Where was God
When they voted Mugabe?
Where was God
On Nine-Eleven?
Taking a sicky
Twenty-four Seven.
Where was God
On the beaches on D-Day?
Where was God
In the barracks of Auschwitz?
Where was God
In the swamps of Cambodia?
Where was God
In Radovan’s Bosnia?
Where was God
In Amin’s Uganda?
Where was God
In the state of Rwanda?
Where was God
In Stalin’s Siberia?
Where was God
In Saddam’s Iraq?
Where was God
When Arvin caught AIDS?
Where was God?
Skiving in heaven?
Where was God?
It’s futile to say,
Mankind evolved,
Don’t bother to pray.

Kot Bondye ti ete
Zurne Tsunami?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Kan zot ti vote Mugabe?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Zurne nef-onz?
Li ti malad
Set zur sak samenn.
Kot Bondye ti ete
Lor bann laplaz D-De?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Dan bann kazern dan Auschwitz?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Dan labu an Kanboj?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Dan Radovan so Boznya?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Dan Amin so Uganda?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Dan leta Rwanda?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Dan Stalin so Saybirya?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Dan Saddam so Irak?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Kan Arvin ti trap SIDA?
Kot Bondye ti ete
Kas poz an Paradi?
Kot Bondye ti ete?
Li difisil a dir,
Zom ti evolye,
Pa bizin to priye.

jordtame's picture
I can understand the feeling

I can understand the feeling I have felt them myself. I just remember that having a god is degrading to the human I am. An after life makes this life less valuable. Why put so much effort in building a life when you can believe and receive an eternal life free of strife. This is the lie that attracts the believer. There is more pride in making your life knowing your strengths what you can endure and what youcan create than some deity doing it for you. For me knowing that after death I will never live again is comforting and encouraging toward living this one.

Justinian's picture
I am an atheist and I used to

I am an atheist and I used to constantly debate, in my mind, over whether god(s) existed or not. Know, I don't think about those things anymore, this is because I have decided that I'm an atheist not only because I believe in science and reasoning, but because I disdain the existence of a god(s).

mulletcar's picture
I personally take solace in

I personally take solace in the fact that I am in charge of my future, there is no spirit in charge of me. I used to struggle with the same feelings and it was all attributed to my very religious upbringing and being brainwashed to believe that god was in charge of my destiny and as a mortal human nothing I could do would change that.

Danny Craft's picture
Mate I went through this in

Mate I went through this in my early years. Know this; it WILL pass..
.. Remember, there are no species that we know of in the universe as intelligent as us. WE are Gods! Together we are the conscious, thinking mind of the cosmos, we hold the power to boost the thriving of life on this planet, or completely destroy it. We are amazing. YOU are amazing! And your understanding of reality means you get to feel the true beauty and wonder of this life more than any theist ever will. There IS peace to be found in uncertainty :) we don't know what happens when we die, and we KNOW that we don't know. That can only ever lead you to peace my friend, you will never have to suffer the pain of questioning belief, you are not living in hope, you're living in now, and that is beautiful, embrace it.
.. As for a reason for living, again, we don't know what that is! Looking at every other species we see they maintain a certain balance with nature, that is arguably our purpose on this planet too. But since we are a higher species than the others, perhaps we are even the guardians of nature? Again, one thing is certain, we don't know for sure. My point is, no-one can ever take away "your very reason of living". .. And as far as fully enjoying this life, no-one can be enjoying themselves all the time, it's impossible. And there is no such thing as perfect. Like everything else, even our moods and thoughts work in a certain balance. The dark days can make the bright ones all the more beautiful if you let it.

Depression is a tough one pal, I know I can't fully understand it. I would say though; eat healthy, stay well hydrated and exercise regularly. When the body is fit and healthy it encourages the mind to be the same. And "choose to focus on the bit of pleasure and other things you already have in this life." Sometimes we get so run down cause we simply forget about the good things in life. ALWAYS focus on the positives.
.. And taking Zaphods advise will definitely help. If you hardly have the ability to make the best of this life for yourself, try make it for someone else.

It's true what Zaphod said too, no-one has all the answers. But don't underestimate how much you can figure out for yourself just by thinking about it.

Here's a cool poem that might help :) .. Peace n love mate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww7ZhBN6iIM

Mythlover's picture
I understand how you feel. It

I understand how you feel. It is easier to be a happy theist than it is to be a happy atheist. I have been a "free-thinker" all my life and I still struggled with this. I live in a community where everyone is the same religion and it was extremely hard for me to feel like I fit in. I couldn't connect with anyone deeply because there was always the subject I avoided to the point of basically living a lie. So I felt depressed, and envied them for the way that they were able to see the world and simply shut out the ugly bits. I don't know if the atheism is what brought about your depression, it wasn't that way for me, but the fact is that there are a lot of bad things about life, and there are a lot of good things, and it is up to us which to focus on. Whether the depression is severe or minor, it will impact your ability to live this life to the fullest, but there are a lot of resources to help you improve your quality of life, online and through people or even psychiatrist visits if you feel like it would help. One thing I've noticed in the area that I'm in is that everyone seems to focus on religion, or if they ar atheist, on atheism, rather than on life. One thing that helped me the most with depression was meditating, focusing on the way the light reflected off of everything, changing my daily routine, absorbing myself in different activities (even though I really did NOT want to), and just trying to make things better, step by step. It takes a while, but I am much happier now, even though not much has changed. I'm just really trying to give tips here, because I know that you probably feel miserable, but things really do change, even when you convince yourself that they won't.

Mythlover's picture
I understand how you feel. It

I understand how you feel. It is easier to be a happy theist than it is to be a happy atheist. I have been a "free-thinker" all my life and I still struggled with this. I live in a community where everyone is the same religion and it was extremely hard for me to feel like I fit in. I couldn't connect with anyone deeply because there was always the subject I avoided to the point of basically living a lie. So I felt depressed, and envied them for the way that they were able to see the world and simply shut out the ugly bits. I don't know if the atheism is what brought about your depression, it wasn't that way for me, but the fact is that there are a lot of bad things about life, and there are a lot of good things, and it is up to us which to focus on. Whether the depression is severe or minor, it will impact your ability to live this life to the fullest, but there are a lot of resources to help you improve your quality of life, online and through people or even psychiatrist visits if you feel like it would help. One thing I've noticed in the area that I'm in is that everyone seems to focus on religion, or if they ar atheist, on atheism, rather than on life. One thing that helped me the most with depression was meditating, focusing on the way the light reflected off of everything, changing my daily routine, absorbing myself in different activities (even though I really did NOT want to), and just trying to make things better, step by step. It takes a while, but I am much happier now, even though not much has changed. I'm just really trying to give tips here, because I know that you probably feel miserable, but things really do change, even when you convince yourself that they won't.

ladadada's picture
I have same problems, Mozart

I have same problems, Mozart Link. I am practicing my atheism views for two weeks already and I do not want to go back to the religion where I came from. And I feel for you, we share same sentiments, maybe because we have this depression because we still yet a full pledge atheist because we wish to believe in the concept of god and afterlife. We have to accept that fact that there is no heaven and there is no hell. For two weeks, my happiness that I first embracing atheism will last but now my heart filled with anger and some doubts come, but I know in myself that those are just feelings and thoughts that would subside if you really accept who you are and your views are. Accept the truth that there is no god and no afterlife. Those ideas cannot be fully taken from our system because we had believed in those for a long time. That cannot be taken in just one night, it requires time.
Do not let your depression overcome you, once your brain chemicals are imbalanced it is hard to revive.

Find the things that will make you happy, and convince yourself that atheism is a positive thing. We first feel depressed on our atheism views because the world labeled us negatively and some may reject us along the way because of our different views, Start living your life. Being an atheist is not losing the world. Live your life well. I hope we both got out of this anger, hatred and depression.

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