@Mikhael

Hey there, dude. Really sorry to hear about that. Hope you are leveling out somewhat at least now. Listen, remember when Cog mentioned using your artist skills to help you with your problem? I meant to elaborate on that a bit more, but got sidetracked with things that have been going on in my real life lately. My apologies for that. Anyway, I wanted to suggest you try doing exactly what Cog suggested, because the art stuff is exactly what helped my wife get through a really tough period that started shortly before the time she and I first met several years ago. She used her painting skills to basically "tell the story" of the thoughts and feelings she was having as the situation developed. Over the course of several months, she ended up with an entire series of paintings that clearly chronicled the events she experienced. Matter of fact, some of those pics I shared on the other thread are from that series of paintings. She has since sold a few of them over time, but a majority of them are still hanging on a wall in our spare bedroom as a reminder of the difficulties she faced and how she triumphed over them.

Mikhael, as I have said before, you have an amazing gift/talent. Use it to your advantage. Yes, believe me, I am very well aware of how difficult it can be sometimes to start working on creating something when distracted by invasive thoughts. In this case, however, as it was with my wife, you have to completely put aside what others may think about the artwork you produce. Throw that shit out the window, and simply focus on yourself and allow your drawing abilities to help rid yourself of whatever infectious thoughts that may be poisoning your system. You may never show them to another person, but that does not matter. This isn't about other people. This is about YOU. Ask your therapist what he/she thinks about the idea. At this point, you should be focused on doing whatever it takes to clear your head and rid yourself of the debilitating compulsions that are controlling you. Get well soon, young man.

I am concerned about your welfare Mikhael, but you are somehow stumbling through the woods without tripping. Please, my friend, take care on your road to wellness.

And many unknown faces are standing on the sidelines cheering for you. Please, never forget that.

As Old man intimated, right now Google is your enemy, it will drag you down into a pit of despair. Understand what will hurt you right now.

And Tin Man has offered a strategy, to find a distraction that keeps you busy doing something that takes you away from the searching. I do this constantly, I divert my attention away from any angst, and have various diversions in place. I have three different games on my computer, and play them depending on my mood. I have a racing sim, which is my pleasant addiction. I have a blow-them-up game, in the form of World of Warships, and one very slow turn-based role-playing game. Or I will just take my dog for a walk.

Angst: a feeling of persistent worry about something trivial.

Sorry to read about your struggles. I have OCD myself. Mine is more about compulsions with neatness and having things clean. When going to a therapist, keep something in mind. They will pull out the prescription pad as a cure all. I am not saying you might not benefit from medication or not. What I am saying, is that you need to find a way to cope. It isn't easy to say the least. I cannot take anti-depressants myself, some people can.

Stress is an obvious trigger and will send your obsessions and/or compulsions into full speed ahead! I use music as a coping mechanism as it is my main interest in life. I also use this group to remind me that I am not alone in my thinking about how religion is just mind control.

Also remember that fear is about the greatest tool people past and present have used and still use to make us not think logically.

Art, music and literature are a gift from REAL people who have lived and used them to not only help themselves, but anyone willing to give it a try themselves.

It is a long road, but you are not on it alone.

Nice art work Mikhael.

I don't know what advice I can offer that might help you, but to repeat:

Assume everything you read on the internet as false until proven true, (with real means, not just words on a page.)

Try to consider the motive and agendas of the authors that write what you read, esp. if not well proven. The crazier and more significant the claim, the greater the need for real evidence.

A river or lake may cure you of all ills if you bathe in it and follow a particular religious protocol? That is one HUUUGGGEEEE! claim. Consider it false. Until very well proven otherwise. And I mean something like: worldwide news where basic scientific principle findings on things like molecular biology and chemistry have been found to be completely wrong in when it comes to a particular body of water and highly fleeting, and extremely localized science breaking phenomena.

You would not even have to being paying attention or having to do any research yourself. You could be living under a rock, and you will find out easily such a monumental shift in all that we humans have learned, has happened. You do not need to obsessively research any of this, if any of it were to be found to be factually true, it would be world wide news to the level that even tRump would get jealous because no one would be paying attention to him anymore.

Which even after decades of research and testing, no scientist anywhere has found any sort of evidence that cannot be easily explained away by random chance and the placebo effect.