So, most who know more than just my name and title know, at least, that I'm not religious. Those who know me rather well know that I'm an atheist. Still, there are some I keep this information from.
Namely one dear friend, my parents, and most colleagues. My mother's always been religious to some extent. I was lucky enough to come up in a household that rarely forced church or religion down my throat, so thank god for that (kidding.) But Mom still holds to her faith and 'is glad that her son at least believes in a higher power even if not in the church.' This is a case where I know damn well she'd accept me just fine to find out I'm an atheist but it would break her heart none the less. I don't hide this fact from her for fear I'd lose her love or the mother/son relationship, that's all steadfast, but I know how deeply it would hurt her feelings to know my beliefs. The case is the same for the aforementioned dear friend and father. As for the colleagues, I just get tired of reciting the same arguments over and over to different people, so just keep my ass out of those conversations.
Is this a commonality among the atheist community, these few folks we'd just assume not offend, or is it an oddity?
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Hey there, InvisiblePInkUnicorn! (Mind if I use IPU? Lovin' the screen name, by the way!) Welcome! You have definitely come to the right place to vent! LOL
So, you mentioned you are currently in the good ol' Bible Belt? Well, welcome to that, too. I was raised right smack in the middle of the Heart of Dixie, my friend. Not too much to complain about in that respect. Had a pretty good time growing up, at least. *chuckle* Anyway, I can totally relate to your not wanting to tell your Mother. My Mom died less than a year ago, and she was always very religious (Baptist). Even though I am sure she suspected my beliefs (or lack thereof, I should say), I was never tempted to come out and confirm them to her. Just never seemed right somehow. I also have an uncle who is in bad health right now, and it is pretty much the same situation with him. He is about the closest person I had as a father growing up, and trying to explain my views to him would likely cause unnecessary problems between us, as he is also strongly religious. Thankfully, I really do not have to worry about anybody else in that respect.
Anyway, great to have you aboard. Cruise around and catch up on some of the discussions. Many great people on here. Hope to see you around. Catch ya later.
Thanks for the reply, Tin-man, and yes, IPU is fine, InvisiblePinkUnicorn is a mouthful (or handful, I guess, as we're typing and all). I've been here before (North Carolina, luckily, the outer fringes of the belt, my head might pop if I had to deal with more of the zealots than I already do,) actually finished out my high school career not far from where I'm settled now, but I was younger and gave fewer craps about who I told what. Mom was still off the list, but anyone else? Yeah, just ask me. Teenager full of angst and boredom, I'll tell you all about it. I've mellowed out significantly since then, but still have to fight the urges on occasion. Luckily, my rinky-dink little community keeps to themselves for the most part and it's just the random folks that I come across at work (was working overnight stocking at a department store and a gentleman actually asked me if I was ready for the arrival of Jehovah, word for word, while I'm in uniform stocking shelves - "Sorry sir, I'm not allowed to discuss such things on the clock," was the lie I told to avoid losing face and a job,) that I have to watch myself around.
And I'm glad to be here, seems like a pretty active community with some common sense...quite the rarity these days.
Welcome IPU,
I cannot pretend to understand what you have been through to maintain rational thought in an ocean of fantasy. I lived in the States for a while, in "godless Californy" (So I was told by a preacher in a drugstore in Alabama)...but travelled widely and often. I found the bible belt the most welcoming and also the most terrifying place in the US. The threat of violence for non conformity or "difference" hangs in the air like a malignant presence in many small and medium size towns.
And yet individually the majority of the inhabitants are generous, warm, kind and accepting of visitors. I was taken to a couple of churches by well meaning hosts and found them uncomfortable in the extreme. Such Barnum and Bailey, such Hocus Pocus. A great contrast to the serenity of the Quaker and Shaker places in the North Eastern States.
Anyhoo my new friend dive right in, don't be afraid to disagree, but DO be prepared to justify your position with evidence!
Long live the Unicorn!
Barnum and Bailey... you're not kidding in the least. My absolute most horrifying experience came, hell, I must have been 20 or so... My now ex wife insisted we go with her friends to their church to mingle. To kick things off, as we got situated in a pew, I noticed a man in the back of the room shouting, beating the wall, I can't remember the exact words used, but along the lines of "Oh lord, I love thee, give me the strength I need to guide my sheep, fill me with your..." ...You get the idea... turns out, this 'gentleman' was... the preacher. And then, half way through his screaming sermon about the sin in homosexual marriage, my ex stood up and...smfh...began 'speaking in tongues'... they gave her a certificate at the end of it all, some congratulatory bit on receiving the holy ghost for the first time... there was even a guy 'translating' what she was 'saying'... She later told me how upset she was because the guy translating was getting it wrong and it 'pulled her out of her experience'... Needless to say, I've never stepped foot in a church since. My mother is the only thing currently keeping me in the states. She's quite up there in years and needs some assistance that this area just doesn't cater to the way they did up north, so, I stick around to help her out as best I can. When she passes, hopefully not for many more years, I'll be finding my way out in the real world - plans to see Nepal, Nicaragua, Ireland, and a few other expat friendly places before choosing a final homestead.
"...but I know how deeply it would hurt her feelings to know my beliefs."
You are probably right and only you can judge.
I thought one of my parents would be crushed if I said I didn't believe there's a god, so I went to church every Sunday and held my peace until I was 16 years old. Turns out they were fine after all. I should have had more respect for them earlier but it is a matter of timing. That's just my story and each person must be old and mature enough to judge their own situation. In my experience, truth will out unless it is all about control.
I'm in my mid-thirties, and, while I know she would be accepting of my beliefs, or lack there of, it's just the fact that I know how deeply it would wound her emotionally. I can't begin to fathom why religious folks are so wounded when others see the world differently from them, but I think in her case, she'd see it as some sort of personal failure, that she was unable to tend to her little boy enough to bring him into the light of the lord and all that... not that she raised a young man well enough and with enough freedom that he was able to see through the smog of religion and find a bit of logic and reason in the world, shedding that heavy coat of angsty, self-hatred generating garbage that is religion for a love and pursuit of knowledge and sense.
Congrats on making it through such a rigorously religious household with your own thoughts and personality in place... It pains me to think of the number of people there must be that only believe the way they do because it's how they were brought up. Even they would argue that that's not the reason they believe, which might be true in a decent number of cases, but I can almost guarantee that it is the case for a great number of people.
And I apologize if my response seems a bit rambling in nature, on my lunch break and wanted to respond while I was thinking about it :)
well i guess your parents already figured it out, they just don't wanna admit it, their eyes are opened partially. hahahah.
just like my late grandmother. i opened my atheism to her and she already accepted it and she's alright with it, she agrees on almost all of my point of view. unlike other old people, grandma doesn't believe in superstitions or what so ever.
i miss her (T_T)..
I have one brother, just one, I once had three now two of them are dead. I tried to tell my brother that I have left how I felt about the whole religious farce but he wasn't hearing any of it. His rationalization was that if I didn't believe then one day I would not be able to ever "SEE" my deceased relatives. I tried being honest with him, but he was immovable. He rationalized out loud that because I smoked pot when I came home from Vietnam that it fucked up my thinking (using "DRUGS") When he said that, I told him he was probably right. I couldn't wait to get out of the car with him, and, that subject has never came up between us again. He avoided me for over 20 years. Now he says he loves "Jesus" some middle eastern Jewish man that he has never met, but doesn't want to be in the company of his heathen flesh and blood brother.
This appears to drive many religionists:
Thinker: "..if I didn't believe then one day I would not be able to ever "SEE" my deceased relatives."