Atheist (christian) man - muslim women

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DeMonic's picture
Atheist (christian) man - muslim women


For last 4 months i have been seeing this muslim girl… relationship started on sexual/romantic note immediately…. both aged 28...
After couple of week she started to finding problems regarding us that are not realistic, and absolutely ridiculous…. i somehow managed to resolve every problem that she found together with her, and assigned all this “problem” to the fact that i do not know history of her relationships and perhaps she has trust issues when it comes to man…
After few weeks she clearly stated that she want just to be friends, on which i said that i agree with that since we both had really good time when we were together. Very similar looks on way how world works, same interests, lets say we clicked and could spend whole weekend together without single misunderstanding or fight.
During this period we were talking about our religious view, where she stated that she is muslim but not following to the core this religion but only spiritual aspects of it, which i respect a lot even that I'm atheist all the way.. and as she said her family is the same... how we hanged together almost every day, from my part deeper feeling started to develop, and how i saw it from her side also, but she was from to me unknown reason blocked them… but for me was something worth of lets say waiting since i had really good time with her…
Couple of days ago Ramadan started, and she stated that her parents are fasting and she will also do the same, my eyebrows went up, but my point of view is, if its not lets say touching me i will respect it and support it. Meanwhile we we were planing trip together for 3-4 days, but suddenly she said that is a problem for her in this Ramadan month, when i asked why, she declared that she has to pray 5 times a day… and for me it was a big sing that she is not just following spiritual aspects of this religion, but all the way…
I went into studying basic aspects of Islam and found out that is strictly forbidden for Muslim women to marry(or have relationship) with non Muslim man, then i rolled everything to starting point and came to conclusion that its possible reason why everything went to friendship mode could be this, what do you think?
I didn't asked her this directly yet, since if I'm wrong i think she would be offended… still do not know what to do?!?!?!

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xenoview's picture
First off by your title,

First off by your title, which are you, an Atheist or a christian? I think you should start looking for a new women to date.

DeMonic's picture
Raised Christian, then

Raised Christian, then started to think ;) its not about that, its about how religion can fuck up your life, and how do people hide their beliefs...

SBMontero's picture
@DeMonic: Personally I think

@DeMonic: Personally I think you should not approach this from the religious point of view, you should approach it from the point of view of relationships between people. You obviate religion and ask her directly why she's lying to you. Don't lose your temper, just ask. She will tell not lie to you, then ask her why she told you that she was not a Muslim practitioner, but now she is.
If you ask calmly and without losing your nerves it's very possible that you get some sincerity, even if you don't like what she tells you.

pijokela's picture
I agree that discussion is

I agree that discussion is the key. I just wanted to add that while she might be technically lying, the conflict between her religion and love might be such that she is just unable to see clearly / speak truth.

Traditionally the solution to this problem is to become a Muslim and marry her. I don't know if you want to take this solution...

LogicFTW's picture
Me personally I would be

Me personally I would be clear with her, even if it was hard, I would say, I am atheist, you indicated to me you are just a spiritual follower, instead of mainstream Muslim, which I was okay with, but your latest actions indicate you are not. I would as nicely as I could, ask her point blank, can you be with a non Muslim. Can you set aside Ramadan and spend time with me?

If she does not have satisfactory answer, you need to unfortunately move on, there is over 3.5 billion women out there, it sounds like you are a guy that is plenty capable of finding women to date, it may hurt, but, there is plenty of "fish in the sea." You may have thought you found one that was compatible but maybe it turns out not to be, keep looking if you have to, you will find one.

Dont waste time and "beat around the bush" it will only waste everyone's time and make it hurt more later.

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