Be anti-gay for second coming of jesus

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xenoview's picture
Be anti-gay for second coming of jesus

Bryan Fischer: When Jesus Returns, He’ll Pick the Bigots To Rule Beside Him.

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algebe's picture
Partial list of years when

Partial list of years when "prophets" said Jesus would return:
500, 793, 1000, 1260, 1370, 1504, 1524, 1524, 1533, 1673, 1694, , 1700, 1757, 1793, 1814, 1829, 1836, 1840–1864, 1844,, 1847, 1861, 1863, 1874, 1890, 1891, 1901, 1914, 1915, 1917, 1930, 1935, 1943, 1972, 1982, 1988, 1994, 1999, 2009, 2000, 2000, 2011, 2011, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2012, 2015

Complete and exhaustive list of years when Jesus actually returned:

LogicFTW's picture
I knew a kid named Jesus in

I knew a kid named Jesus in high school. Actually spoke good english and he shared his homework with me when I missed a class. Cool guy, lost touch with him though.

Oh you mean the son of god character! Duh on my part ;) that died for our sins and then some religious circles say he got resurrected, others say he never did, others say he will return later, etc

I can say with supreme confidence when that jesus character will return: I would bet my entire life savings and all my wealth and all future earnings if someone wanted to bet against me for 1 dollar on the exact time:

Damn I won't be able to collect my dollar :(
But I won't lose the bet either :)

I actually looked into trying to sell my soul on ebay, for some quick bucks. (I obviously stole the idea from the famous case that happened years earlier.) But apparently EBay these days frown upon that. And consider it a scam. (I guess the rule makers at ebay do not believe that souls can be sold in any form.)

xenoview's picture
I believe the bible said no

I believe the bible said no one would know when jesus returns.

Sky Pilot's picture


He's not coming on a cloudless day. So if there are no clouds in the sky he's not coming.

Revelation 1:7 (CEV) = "Look! He is coming
with the clouds.
Everyone will see him,
even the ones who stuck
a sword through him.
All people on earth
will weep because of him.
Yes, it will happen! Amen."

And since the ones who stuck a sword through him will see him are long dead and forgotten...

Pitar's picture
Really, really silly stuff

Really, really silly stuff but far less saddening than my visit through christian forums this past week. Those people are seriously clueless, parroting bible verse and tossing thee's, thou's and thine's around like confetti on a NY Thanksgiving Day parade.

But, the crime of homosexuality is punishable by death, don't you know? If I know my stuff, Leviticus 20-13 is pretty clear and no self-respecting theist can refute his or her god's word regardless of their sexual orientation. They are detestable and shall surely be put to death, their blood upon their heads, and other such mumbo-jumbo. So, despite the outsider's observation and opinion, this is the way of it for the fundamentalists and evangelists. Homosexuality must be persecuted by biblical decree.

The irony surrounding the entire revival of the jesus and the god-the-father characters lies in the reason the historical Paul decided to revive them. It's a good bet Paul was gay. His writing is pretty clear he was a misogynist and also clear is how much he loathed himself because his "member will not cooperate". He wrote about being condemned because of it. At the time the Hebrew god-of-gods didn't condone homosexuality. No sir, Yahweh did not take kindly to that sexual orientation. But, the father (god) he learned of through the nazarene cult did. So, a gay dude promoted a benevolent god through a focused effort, engaging others from the cult to take equally active roles (in pseudegraphal form, of course) and together they lofted the jesus and god characters into existence from thin air. 3-400 years later Paul's sexual orientation (homosexuality) is wholly disenfranchised by the bible writers and condemned to the worst fate.

You just can't trust anyone these (or those) days. So, tell me, do you think Paul got shanghaied from heaven and redirected to The Hot Spot, or was he given a kitchen pass to heaven because he saved god from anonymity?

Sky Pilot's picture


Interesting points about Paul. The character as depicted in the Bible is certainly a whacko. But it would be more appropriate to use the tirade in Romans chapter 1 when discussing Christian homosexuals instead of Leviticus. It covers the same thing but it's more relevant to the current environment.

mykcob4's picture
How funny. If there was a

How funny. If there was a jesus and I'm not saying there was, he was most likely a gay nappy haired black man that stole cheated, begged, and ran a gang of gay thieves and male prostitutes.

Sky Pilot's picture


That's an interesting observation about Yeshua.

In Matthew 8:20 he said: "20 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens, and the birds in the sky have nests, but the Human One has no place to lay his head.”

In Sirach 36:31 (CEB) it says = "31 Who will trust a well-equipped robber who travels from city to city? Likewise, who will trust a man
who does not have a nest and who lodges wherever night falls?"

Yeshua associated with hookers and other unsavory people. So even if he wasn't a robber he did travel from city to city with no visible means of support and he admitted that he didn't have a home. So, by the standards in Sirach 36:31 why would any of his knowledgeable contemporaries have trusted him?

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