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That's A Fallacy's picture

When I'm arguing with my friends (I try to argue what arguing is supposed to be- finding a mutual understanding) he always says things like "If you don't believe in god, then you're going to hell, and I don't want that," and "I'll pray that you'll find the truth." I don't know what about him "praying" for me makes me irritated but I get really irritated. Then he'll say things like "God is the truth, and I saw the truth. Why do you hate God? I try to explain to him that the reason I'm an athiest isn't that I hate God, it's that I don't see enough proof for it. And then he'll say something like "God loves you and you should love him back. I'll pray that you will learn to love him." Again with this praying thing! I don't know what I should do. Thoughts about what to do, and also, why he's saying it if I ask him to stop?

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Nyarlathotep's picture
When he asks you "why do you

When he asks you "why do you hate god?", ask him if he has stopped beating his wife.

Capt.Bobfm's picture
That sort of sentiment

That sort of sentiment irritates me too.
When he asks you why you hate god, let him know that you can't hate something that you don't believe exists.
Ask him if he believes in bigfoot or little green space men or maybe the loch ness monster.
If he says no to anything like that, ask him why he hates the loch ness monster.
Keep up the pressure, ask him if the loch ness monster ever did anything to offend him.
You get the point.
Don't let up til he gets it or gives up.

Spewer's picture
What Capt.Bobfm said. Ask

What Capt.Bobfm said. Ask him why he hates Thor, which means he is headed for Muspelheim (the Realm of Fire).

The fact is people like this think they are doing you a favor. They think you really are making a terrible eternal mistake that they might possibly save you from. So he probably means well... Not that this makes it any less annoying.

Kataclismic's picture
At least they haven't

At least they haven't completely destroyed the relationship due to fear of you changing their perceptions. Sometimes it is the irritation it causes that re-affirms their position. Rather than being annoyed because they want to pray for you make it clear that you have better things to do with your time than wait on his prayers to be answered and how disappointed you are that he has nothing better to do. Or you could tell him (while he's at it) to pray for better lawn service or better customer satisfaction at the bank... You could have more fun with it than being irritated at a friend. There's no fun in that.

The more irritated you get at what he's saying the better he feels saying it. One of those catch-22's. Make it much less dramatic and it will eventually stop.

ThePragmatic's picture
I think some religious people

I think some religious people subconsciously get frightened by people who do not share their belief.
If you don't believe like they do, it suggests that there is a reason to not hold that belief. That is a scary thought to them, so they feel a need to remedy that.

What might be the source of your irritation in these situations, is that praying for you is very condescending. As if you are a child, that needs the help of those who understand better. When they openly declare that they are going to pray for you, it is as if they are bragging about how much better they are than you.

One approach might be to tell the truth about how it makes you feel, in a polite way (if you want to keep the friendship).
"I know you mean well, but when you say you will pray for me, I find it offensive and irritating because you are very condescending towards me. Pray for me and others as much as you like, but please stop emphasizing it."

cmallen's picture
"If you don't believe in god,

"If you don't believe in god, then you're going to hell, and I don't want that," and "I'll pray that you'll find the truth."
"God is the truth, and I saw the truth. Why do you hate God?"
"God loves you and you should love him back. I'll pray that you will learn to love him."

These are all examples of argument-ending statements. They offer no real counter-argument to what is being discussed and are engineered to "win" an argument by bring a halt to discourse. It's like if you are in a discussion with someone and they say, "well, that's just stupid," or, "that's just racist," or, "you're a sexist." It clearly shows that the person is not interested in what you have to say but simply wants to win the argument at any cost. Does that sound like a friend? Maybe an amicable acquaintance or colleague, but friend I think not.

mysticrose's picture
Those statements only shows

Those statements only shows that religions were made up to control the mind of close-minded people

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