Hypothetically, who would you worship? God or Satan?

71 posts / 0 new
Last post
David Killens's picture
Hypothetically, who would you worship? God or Satan?

Let us assume (hypothetically) that the christian bible is true and there is a god, and a devil. And let us also hypothesize that when we die, we have this information revealed to us. Assuming that we still have free will (very debatable) in the afterlife, who would we worship?

On the surface, this may appear to be a no-brainer slam dunk with God getting the worship.

But for me personally, I would throw my lot in with the devil for these reasons.

God has murdered 2.5 million people, while Satan is guilty of killing only 6. And I am not counting the estimated 20+ million who perished in the flood.

God is a liar. For example, just for shits and giggles he tested Abraham by instructing him to sacrifice his only son Isaac, before cancelling at the last minute. The devil is consistent, he does not pretend to be anything but what he is.

And besides, I am sure they don't play AC/DC in heaven.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEPmA3USJdI

Subscription Note: 

Choosing to subscribe to this topic will automatically register you for email notifications for comments and updates on this thread.

Email notifications will be sent out daily by default unless specified otherwise on your account which you can edit by going to your userpage here and clicking on the subscriptions tab.

Pirate Jack's picture
AC/DC are resin enough to

AC/DC are reason enough to choose the devil!! Christian music sucks ass! Seems like the devil would probably be pretty cool. He didn’t tell us we had to live our lives kissing his ass like Jesus did. Damn, now I’m gonna play Angus for a fucking week! Thank you David!

CyberLN's picture
Neither...

Neither...

xenoview's picture
@CyberLN

@CyberLN
I agree with you. Neither

If the christian god and satan are real, that mean there is a chance other gods are real too.

NewSkeptic's picture
@DK

@DK

"And besides, I am sure they don't play AC/DC in heaven."

For me at least, that is a vote for God Almighty. I would at least worship his good taste in music, assuming of course I could get the Beatles and Rolling Stones in heaven. Then again, given Lennon's words and Mick's hip movements, that is unlikely.

Dark One's picture
You would probably get a less

You would probably get a less boring eternal afterlife if you worshipped Satan. It wouldn't be quite as wild a sex party as Allah's eternal clubhouse though, nothing quite compares to that.

cranky47's picture
Mark Twain wrote "Heaven for

Mark Twain wrote "Heaven for the climate. Hell for the company"

Going by the number of pious humbugs and entertaining rascals I've come across over a lifetime, I tend to agree.

Tin-Man's picture
Re: OP

Re: OP

I would not worship either of them. I'm not exactly a worshipping type of guy. I would, however, tend to have more respect for Satan based on information contained in the bible. Besides, I have a gut feeling Satan probably wouldn't want to be worshipped in the first place. I would tend to think he (or, maybe, she?) would have more self-respect than that... *chuckle*...

(Now to go see the other answers.)

Grinseed's picture
In Heaven its 24/7 back to

In Heaven its 24/7 back to back Mendelsohn, Bach, Gregorian chants and a little ABBA eith some Vera Lynn...at least no christian pop...now that would be Hell...Thank god Im deaf.

Worship? Naa, I have taken a lot of care to accept my mortality. I would still just like to end this mortal life and not bother having to worship vainities greater than my own for etrrnity. I am over that shit.

Kate's picture
How depressing. Don't you

How depressing. Don't you want to believe there is something greater than this life waiting for you with God? This world we live in is like a vapor--it will soon go away. It's not just you die and that's it. For me I look forward to the day when Christ returns and no more death, sickness & wars. Satan will be defeated. I accept Him as my Lord and Savior!

David Killens's picture
@Kate

@Kate

"Don't you want to believe there is something greater than this life waiting for you with God?"

I sincerely feel very sad for you.

You are living in a fantasy where this life is just a way-station to better things.

I do not, this is the one and only chance I get to enjoy my life. I appreciate every drop of rain, every cloud, everything I experience. I make sure that I continually inform my loved ones I love them, because I understand that I can't wait until heaven to make up forgetting telling my loved ones I love them.

All you do is allow yourself to be miserable in this life and hoping for death.

Kate's picture
Wrong! I'm not hoping for

Wrong! I'm not hoping for death at all--quite the contrary. And I feel bad for you, not seeing what happiness you could have in your heart by knowing Jesus.

David Killens's picture
@Kate

@Kate

"Wrong! I'm not hoping for death at all"

My apologies for any misunderstanding, but I never implied you ever wished misfortune or unhappiness on another. I am of the sincere belief that you, Kate, never intend anything foul on another person.

What I was referring to was that I hear a lot of theists declaring that they can't wait to die so they can get out of this "crappy" world and enjoy the pleasures of heaven.

cranky47's picture
Christianity has always been

Christianity has always been a death cult, promising a better world to come.

In the early days of the church that became a real problem,.The early church attracted the marginalised, especially woman and slaves. Their lives tended to be pretty miserable. A lot of 'em really wanted to die and go to heaven NOW

Because suicide is a sin, large numbers actively sought ,and found, martyrdom. It became such a problem that the church had to put out an official edict forbidding the practice.

Whilst many Christians today seem perfectly capable of enjoying life, I understand it is still official doctrine that the afterlife is a much better place than here (at least for the saved) .

It is my observation that the pleasure of happy clappers and the more miserable smaller sects seems to come from schadenfreude . IE they positively relish the notion of Atheists and other heathens going to hell.

OT: I once asked a Rabbi to tell me about the Jewish idea of Heaven. He evaded, saying Jews are too busy living this life than to worry about the next. Jews do have a concept of hell ; they have a list of offences which will land you there.,However, the maxim stay is 2 years. The idea of an eternal hell is a christian invention. It was cobbled together over a couple of centuries, from various pagan sources, .

An easy reference to access is John Shelby Spong on Youtube (he has also written some best selling books) He says the church is about power and control. (through guilt ) Well worth a few minutes at least

Jo's picture
@ cranky47

@ cranky47

"In the early days of the church that became a real problem, The early church attracted the marginalised, especially woman and slaves. Their lives tended to be pretty miserable. A lot of 'em really wanted to die and go to heaven NOW. Because suicide is a sin, large numbers actively sought ,and found, martyrdom. It became such a problem that the church had to put out an official edict forbidding the practice."
How do you know that they sought martyrdom as indirect suicide?

"IE they positively relish the notion of Atheists and other heathens going to hell."
I do not, and of the thousands of Christians I have known, none of them have either?
It is common for a Christians to have close friends and loved ones that are Atheists.
Neither does God. It is his will that all should go to heaven.

"The idea of an eternal hell is a christian invention. It was cobbled together over a couple of centuries, from various pagan sources."
In general, I agree with you. It was invented by later Christians is more accurate.

LogicFTW's picture
@Jo

@Jo

"The idea of an eternal hell is a christian invention. It was cobbled together over a couple of centuries, from various pagan sources."
In general, I agree with you. It was invented by later Christians is more accurate.

So you don't believe hell is real, and you do believe some christians invented the idea later?
How does that work? Some of christianity you know to be false, with other parts true? How do you know which parts are true or not? Because someone else wrote or told you it is that way?

Also no hell? So what happens to people that do not go to heaven? Nothing? Where is the "cosmic justice" lots of religious people care so greatly about? If I break all the rules laid out by the particular god idea, to a great extent, murdering and torturing 1000's of people, all I get at the end is no eternity in heaven? (Heaven, a very vague, completely unevidenced idea?)

Why do you come here? To try and convince stated atheist to join you in your belief so they can go to heaven with you? Why do you care? Is it cosmic "points" to convert people to the correct god idea? Why?

Jo's picture
@ LogicFTW

@ LogicFTW

The typical picture of hell in the western world is more Dante than Bible.
I didn't say there was no hell or no justice.
Just that there are a lot of is misconceptions about what the Bible says on the subject.

Should I not care about other people?
If someone believes there is a heaven, should they try to hep others get there?
Could it be that I am just returning the favor?
That I have been helped, and so I am trying to help others.
Not that I will get "cosmic points", but that I owe a debt.

Does cynicism always lead to the correct conclusion?

Ricardo's picture
@ Kate: do you believe in the

@ Kate: do you believe in the devil embedded in the Brazilian man of the video?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bt8bykbJl5A

Cognostic's picture
@Kate: "Don't you want to

@Kate: "Don't you want to believe there is something greater than this life waiting for you with God? "
Spoken like a true person who has wasted their life. It's a sad thing that you have not lived your life. It's a sad thing you have not done all the things you dreamed of doing. It's sad that you want more. It's sad that you do not feel completely fulfilled and ready to finish. That is what happens when you spend half your life in dark candle lit rooms on your knees. That is what happens when you take the money you could be using to make yourself happy and get conned into giving it to the Church. We feel sorry for you.
My life has been great, I don't need anything greater.

RE: "This world we live in is like vapor, it will go away soon." You poor excuse for a human being. I feel sorry for you. This is the only life you have and you have not realized it. What a waste!!

RE: "For me I look forward to the day when Christ returns and no more death, sickness & wars. Satan will be defeated." Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you believe the spoken words of Jesus, you missed the boat. Matthew 24- "Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened." (So, Jesus was lying or you are wrong.)

RE: " I accept Him as my Lord and Savior!" Yea.... we sorta got that. It's your life, waste it if you want to. WTF are you doing here?

Cognostic's picture
@Kate: Certainly not if

@Kate: Certainly not if that God is the fucking murdering, child butchering, asshole that you worship. You come up with a better god and I will reconsider.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
I'm going to echo most

I'm going to echo most comments...Worship? Nah.

Probably more fun to have a beer with Satan than God/Christ whatever. Worthwhile playing poker with the red boy, he seems to lose a lot of bets. Playing with the god thing would be pointless as he knows what's in my hand anyway....

@ Grinseed, I am with you bro, happy to leave this sometime joyful vale of tears and welcome oblivion. Hopefully it won't be too long now.

Grinseed's picture
@Old Man

@Old Man

I'll get out my old solid black rubber tyre scooter and race you to oblivion. :D

Nyarlathotep's picture
How would you be able to tell

How would you be able to tell the two apart?

Tin-Man's picture
@Nyar Re: "How would you be

@Nyar Re: "How would you be able to tell the two apart?"

I imagine Satan dresses in a much more contemporary manner with the latest fashions and styles. Oh, and he probably doesn't walk around with his nose up in the air all stiff and awkward like he has a stick up his ass. In other words Satan would be much more laid back and approachable.

Tin-Man's picture
@Nyar Re: "How would you be

(Delete dupe)

David Killens's picture
God is the peeping Tom, Satan

God is the peeping Tom, Satan is the dude who pimps out to clients.

Cognostic's picture
Worshiping anything is

Worshiping anything is offensive. Nothing worth being worshiped would want to be worshiped.

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog Re: "Worshiping

@Cog Re: "Worshiping anything is offensive. Nothing worth being worshiped would want to be worshiped."

OUTSTANDING! You put that much more simply than I was thinking! Sweeeeeet!

Edit to add: You summed up in two sentences what I was planning to say in two or more paragraphs. Thank you.

David Killens's picture
I agree Cognostic. I made a

I agree Cognostic. I made a big error in formulating my OP, and should have phrased it as worshiping being replaced as just a choice between the two.

LogicFTW's picture
Worshiping anything is

Worshiping anything is offensive. Nothing worth being worshiped would want to be worshiped.

I will also add how strongly I agree with that statement. Very well summed up.

I figured this out, (but not put so eloquently,) as a kid. If there was actually some sort of greater intelligence out there that had some sort of "hand" in this universe's creation, and it actually cared to listen to what tiny bug like things on a tiny speck of dust that would be impossible to find. It would be utterly repulsed by the religions and worshipping all the BS that was going on in it's (the creator) supposed, unwilling, "name."

Or put in other words: all the various definitions of god I ever heard, those definitions would be an insult, (to their intelligence,) to any greater intelligence, even if that greater intelligence was only a little bit smarter than your average human. Like perhaps the gap that separates chimps from humans, (which is smaller than most people think!)

Cognostic's picture
God randomly kills 25,000,000

God randomly kills 25,000,000 people in the Bible and spends all of his time fucking up, lying and making mistakes of judgment. Satan kills 8 and tells the truth every time. Hmmmmm . Were I to hang out at the local bar with either of them, it would be much more sane to hang out with Satan. God would get offended and kill everyone. (Jim Jefferies - god is drunk at a party)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgk7MXWQOAM

Pages

Donating = Loving

Heart Icon

Bringing you atheist articles and building active godless communities takes hundreds of hours and resources each month. If you find any joy or stimulation at Atheist Republic, please consider becoming a Supporting Member with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good dinner.

Or make a one-time donation in any amount.