"I don't, but if I did..."

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mykcob4's picture
"I don't, but if I did..."

I don't believe in a god, but if I did, it certainly wouldn't be a christian god. I would choose a worthy god that really had power and wasn't afraid to reveal him/herself.

I don't watch porn, but if I did I would never watch soft porn. Is there anything so unsatisfying and frustrating as soft porn? The silly music, the vagueness, the nakedness that really isn't naked. How fucking stupid. My guess that if porn causes rape and sexual assault it isn't hardcore, but it is softcore.

I don't believe in conspiracies, but if I did, I think the conspiracy that I'd most likely believe in is that cable providers put you on hold for long periods of time on purpose. They just sit there having a cigarette drinking coffee and finally say "has it been 30 minutes?" and then answer the phone.

Do you have any "I don't, but if I did..." stories?
Please share.

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carolelaine's picture
I don't believe that life is
algebe's picture
I don't believe in Satan, but
Sheldon's picture
Ah but Bill Gates is trying
algebe's picture
When Bill Gates was there the
ʝօɦռ 6IX ɮʀɛɛʐʏ's picture
Man, almost everything I use
algebe's picture
***TOTALLY OFF TOPIC***
Nyarlathotep's picture
I won't touch a device that
Flamenca's picture
Oh yeah, and we would have a
Aposteriori unum's picture
I don't believe in any gods,
Tin-Man's picture
Did someone say "Metal God"?.
mickron88's picture
hahahahah...!!. what sam
Tin-Man's picture
@ Q Re: Rock Metal God
bigbill's picture
how are you to say there is
Old man shouts at clouds's picture
*chants* Troll troll troll
algebe's picture
Are you a Christian again?
Tin-Man's picture
Re: Agnostic Believer
mickron88's picture
yeah, seen it already many
Sheldon's picture
"how are you to say there is
Sushisnake's picture
Don't listen to him to Tin
Tin-Man's picture
@Sushi Re: Watering plants
Sushisnake's picture
@Tin-man Re: Shrubbery
Tin-Man's picture
@Sushi Re: Shrubbery
Koukla's picture
I don't have kids, but if I
Sky Pilot's picture
mykcob4,
Sushisnake's picture
I don't believe in the Loch

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Yes
mickron88's picture
i don't believe in religion,
MCDennis's picture
I don't agree with christians
Sky Pilot's picture
MCD,
fishy1's picture
I don't believe in God but if
Ratburn's picture
I don't believe prayer works.

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