Just hanging out in the first century.

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mykcob4's picture
Just hanging out in the first century.

As is my daily routine I walk down to the Roman fountain and gather water. On the way, there are numerous soothsayers, seers, self-proclaimed prophets, mystics, and people trying to preach and get a few shekels from us hard working people. I stop at a tavern which is also my custom. There I catch up with friends and hear the news. My friends tell me a new begger has come to town claiming to be the son of god. He calls himself jesus and claims that he is the son of a virgin woman.
I say Hmmm...I must check this guy out.
So I find him and his gang begging for food but there is something odd about this jesus character. He is arrogant, dismissive, even mean to everyone, even his gang. He starts spewing the usual rhetoric that I've heard before but this time he places himself smack dab in the middle of the folklore. I can't help but laugh.
He shouts "you mock ME? the son of god?!" I say "You're the son of a alright, but it ain't no god." His face turns red and says "I command god to smite you down."
Nothing happens...crickets. A Roman guard comes closers and asks "what is going on here?" The jesus crew hides their faces and say "nothing, nothing at all." I say "this one claims to be a god and demanded a god smite me down." The guard laughs and moves along.
So hanging out with this jesus character was a complete waste of time. He is nothing more than a layabout with a new twist. He spews the same old shit except he claims to be part of the myth. He is as looney as the dumbasses that go to visit that nutjob at the river Jordan. There are all sorts of scams. Seems to me that these nuts are able bodied and could feed themselves if they just got a job. But no they have to roam around beg and steal. What a bunch of kooks!
...1978...They tell me there is this guy James Warren Jones that claims to be the son of god.
....2013...They tell me there is a whacko religious group calling themselves the Branch Davidians and that their leader claims to be the son of god...Here we go again!
This won't end well. It never does!

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chimp3's picture
I was in San Antonio during

I was in San Antonio during the Branch Davidian disaster. Guiltily I admit making light of the situation. "WACO= We ain't coming out!'

Tragic what happens when people believe Jesus is returning!

Cognostic's picture
There are a fist full of

There are a fist full of Jesus impersonators in the world today.

Australian Jesus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVw0eFmnQtM

Siberian Jesus:

PuertoRican Jesus:

Jesus' of Brazil:

Philippine Jesus: (They mention Siberian Jesus and London Jesus too.)

Then there is this idiot: God's Vicar on Earth

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