Noah's Ark

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Adaptt's picture
Noah's Ark

I know you guys are all smart, so I want to give a fun topic that's easy. I want anyone to list everything they can possibly think of that opposes Noah's ark.

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Burn Your Bible's picture
Did you not see Evan Almighty

Did you not see Evan Almighty?
What is your evidence that it could not be possible?
How can you say anything could oppose the ark?

Pitar's picture
I think Mark Twain covers it

I think Mark Twain covers it all in his book Letters From Earth. He focuses on Noah and his family who must suffer all of man's Earthly diseases, cancers and parasites that can only survive in human hosts. They carry all such vermin in their bodies to comply with god's instructions. They'd be dead within hours but, well, it will come to pass that logic receives the boot and in its place divine intervention was graced upon them to gleefully carry out his instructions without pain or suffering. Then, when the ark came to rest Noah and family incestuously repopulated the Earth with healthy specimens for the cancers, diseases and parasites to thrive on. At that point god revived such pestilence from its dormancy in their bodies and all men and women were once again smitten with suffering from the hand of a loving god.

Makes perfect sense to me.

xenoview's picture
If the flood covered all

If the flood covered all mountains, how did they survive the freezing weather above Mt. Everest?
If the ark only had one window, how did all the animals not die for all the CO2 due to a lack of air flow?
Where did they keep all the fresh water at?
What did they feed the carnivores?
What did the do with all the animal shit?
How did noah's family cook food with no fire?


Burn Your Bible's picture
Ok I will be serious...

Ok I will be serious...
so if the entire earth was flooded how did the fresh water vs salt water animals survive?
So the boat was 300 cubits by 50 cubits wide by 30 cubits tall (cubit is an ancient measurement elbow to finger tips) so let's go crazy and say that 1 cubit equates to 21 inches. Yes that is a big boat but still even if completely hollow it does not have the cubic volume to hold every animal in the world. Even if they were stacked and packed.
And the only air came from a window/opening that is 1*1 cubit
So how do you get rid of the methane gas?

Keith Raye's picture
Jesus, man, you're talking

Jesus, man, you're talking serious fart there!

MCDennis's picture
No evidence of a global flood

No evidence of a global flood. What do I win for having the right answer

Sheldon's picture
Where did all the water come

Where did all the water come from to flood the globe 20ft above Mt Everest? Where did it all go? How did a small family working by hand with wood create a boat to house at least 2 of every air breathing creature on earth? How did they collect them? How did they feed them for almost a year? How did they provide for the vastly different environmental requirements? How did freshwater fish survive? What did every creature on the ark including Noah and his progeny eat after the global flood destroyed all vegetation with salt water? Where did the massive diversity of plants we now have come from after the flood destroyed them all. How can anyone worship a being that committed such a genocide? Is it really conceivable murdering babies and children is a moral act because God's miffed his plan was a shambles?

Lastly why does the scientific field of geology refute the claim of a global flood utterly?

Keith Raye's picture


Well done! To me, the water itself is the big problem with the flood story. Speaking as someone who has good reason to understand water chemistry, I know that water cannot be created on the earth, that the amount of water present today is much the same as it was 2 million years ago. So where did the biblical water come from, and as you say, where did it go?

algebe's picture
How did the koalas, kangaroos

How did the koalas, kangaroos, kiwis, armadillos, alpacas, etc., get home from Turkey across the Pacific and the Atlantic? Why is there no evidence of a global flood in ice cores from the Antarctic?

There are an estimated 30,000 species of land-dwelling animals and birds, and about 950,000 insect species. So the Ark would need to have contained over 60,000 animals and nearly two million bugs, together with food for omnivores, carnivores, herbivores, and insectivores. I think Noah would have needed a fleet of arks.

Keith Raye's picture
Not to mention food for them

Not to mention food for them all, of course. Oh, did.

Personally I prefer the 'Three ha'pence a foot' version of the flood story. Anyone who wants a good laugh go to

chimp3's picture
What opposes Noah's Ark? An

What opposes Noah's Ark? An educated mind that can distinguish between fairy tales and reality.

Burn Your Bible's picture
Why no theists defending this

Why are no theists defending this? I just don't understand! They have all this evidence to show this happened, I mean they built an ark museum for fucks sake. Come on aj777, breezy, Jon the catholic. Please explain your side! Please tell me what really happened... I know if I read it through my atheist eyes I can never know the truth!!! Please help guide my lost soul...

Chica__2009's picture
I have no idea how serious or

I have no idea how serious or joking you are but since you asked, I'd like to share a video with you. It's a DVD trailer and you can also listen to excerpts on youtube. They're quite long though.
This is the link:


Attach Image/Video?: 

Keith Raye's picture


I don't think you're going to have much luck there. Didn't they find a piece of wood on Mount Arafat or something, several years back? A piece of wood after, what, 3000 years or so? It was probably stamped 'Theist School of Logic'.

Burn Your Bible's picture
I know Keith, i was hoping

I know Keith, i was hoping that calling them out it would force one of them to at least post something!

Keith Raye's picture
You'll be lucky. They know

You'll be lucky. They know they can't win this one. Nice try, though.

Burn Your Bible's picture
Can't blame an atheist for

Can't blame an atheist for trying... hahaha

Keith Raye's picture
No, you can't. But you can

No, you can't. But you can blame a theist for BEING trying.

Flamenca's picture
I can't believe my eyes. You

I can't believe my eyes. You people, who claim to believe in Evolution, can't you see what Noah did? He didn't need to fill the Ark with two animals of each species, he just needed the common ancestor... For example, he just needed two felines, and God, after the flood, transformed them into cats, tigers, lions, etc.

And insects don't die because there's a flood. Rain doesn't kill them. If that was the case, in places like Scotland or Uruguay there were no insects left at this point.

P.S. The metane would have gone through the windows... Why do say there weren't enough windows? I can see them...


Attach Image/Video?: 

algebe's picture
@Believerbot: "he just needed

@Believerbot: "he just needed two felines, and God, after the flow, transformed them into cats, tigers, lions, etc."

So why did god need Noah and his ark at all? He could have simply waved his magic wand and conjured up a new batch of animals. What is the 6,000-year-old common ancestor of all feline species?

"And the insects don't die because there's a flood. Rain doesn't kill them."

I'll pretend you're serious about this. When it rains, insects shelter under leaves or in crevices in trees and rocks. How does that work under several kilometers of seawater?

algebe's picture
Angiebot, why have you become

Angiebot, why have you become Believerbot? You had me fooled. Real theists have said far more stupid things than Believerbot.

Flamenca's picture
Algebe, since @Breezy has so

Algebe, since @Breezy has so kindly swelled the ranks of Atheism, I thought I could return him the favor. It's like a student exchange. I'll have God inside my heart until he recovers his senses -meaning be true again (or simply when I get bored).

Nyarlathotep's picture
Believerbot - I'll have God

Believerbot - I'll have God inside my heart until [Breezy] recovers his senses...

That might be a while; he's been off his rocker since at least the first day he posted here.

Flamenca's picture


Burn Your Bible's picture
Shit you got me!!!!! @

Shit you got me!!!!! @ believerbot

Flamenca's picture
Among the atheists in this

Among the atheists in this forum, Algebe and you are the ones with more tickets to hell, @Burn. I'll pray for you both tonight.

algebe's picture
@Believerbot: "Among the

@Believerbot: "Among the atheists in this forum, Algebe and you are the ones with more tickets to hell"

I think you just committed the sin of pride by preempting god's judgment. Say 50,000 Hail Marys and flagellate yourself severely.

When I don't go to hell and you don't go to heaven, neither of us will be surprised.

Isn't it interesting that "pray" and "prey" sound exactly the same.

Burn Your Bible's picture
Me go to hell nah, I will

Me go to hell nah, I will pray for forgiveness right before I die and boom! Sippin Mai tais in heaven!

Keith Raye's picture


What if you get unexpectedly run over by a truck?

"He's got a ticket to hell,
He's got a ticket to hell, hell, hell,
He's got a ticket to hell, and he don't care!"

With apologies to John Lennon et al. Not that he'd mind.

Aposteriori unum's picture
In order to cover every

In order to cover every mountain top with water twenty feet deep you would need somewhere in the ballpark of 1 billion cubic miles of additional water. As water vapor condenses it releases energy. If that much water condensed and fell to earth within fourty days it would unleash approximately 10^28 joules of energy... Enough to raise the temperature of earth to nearly 6000 degrees Fahrenheit. Unless the ark had some state of the art heat shielding it would burn. This is assuming of course that the water wouldn't revaporize due to heat and cool the earth back down and creating an equilibrium... But I make that assumption because that's what the myth says. So if it falls they burn.


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