My clients Girlfriend is struggling with her gender identification. For some people she uses her female name then in other groups its her male name. She cares what people think too much my client says. She's thinks about things like if I sit when I pee its going to sound different in the males bathroom. She so focused on how people will view her that wearing a ball cap is a monsterous decision. How can people care so much about who's in the stall next to them and not see how entering a society of preconceived normals as something different can be scary as Hell?
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I think it's the simple fear of the unknown and different. People fear gays because we're different, they fear gender fluidity as threatening for the same reason. It really is sad. All we can do is keep fighting ignorance and irrationality with reason and logic. People will eventually accept the progressive ideals of gender and sexuality. Until then, I suppose, just persist.
For me, I could care less. I think that we should have unisex bathrooms in the first place and it should start in schools so people will grow up not caring how a person identifies their gender. America is so immature when it comes to sex. religion has oppressed people so much and made the subject of sex so taboo that just going to the bathroom is somehow sexual. Crazy right? There is nothing sexy about taking a crap or going for a whiz.
That why our sex ed for kids needs to change and include gender fluidity and all sexual identities taught. along with sexual preference. Christians thrive on fear. And yes there is nothing sexy about taking a crap. A wiz Trump might disagree:)
"A wiz Trump might disagree:)"
HAH! love it!
I have spent sometime on other discussion boards talking about the craziness of the North Carolina bathroom bill a few weeks back. I have come to expect ignorance, but on this particular issue, it truly went above and beyond.
More than half of the people on that discussion board was utterly convinced when that bathroom bill that was just repealed, That what they actually thought occurred, could be summarized to: "You crazy leftist! You cannot create a new law that allows men into women's bathroom! Think of the defenseless little girls!" They had no idea that transgenders were using the bathroom of their choice with zero problems to everyone else, (not themselves tho, they got persecuted horribly when "discovered") since the state of North Carolina formed and only recently some politicians invented this huge new boogey monster that did not ever exist.
The people had no idea what they were talking about. They had no idea it was a repeal of a totally redundant and unenforceable law that was barely a year old, and that under the surface of this bathroom bill it was designed only to persecute transgenders for being different and drumming up fear votes for blatantly lying politicians.
I also want to say that I am fully aware that the "repeal" is mostly a farce, and the compromise they came to was awful. Politicians tried to bury it in legalese when they realized it was costing them votes, and more importantly, money.
Hahahaha, you got me there.
Men with swollen prostates are encouraged to sit down when peeing and no stranger is going to really ask anyway. Baseball caps were unisex last time I checked. I think she what she's really missing is self validation.
I agree SecularSon.. I retweeted a video a month ago of a transgender woman who had been beaten to death by 6 men with wood sticks. Someone video taped it. I couldn't watch the video because the picture of this girl with torn clothes and a little blood on her face before they did it still haunts me. People are trying to find the confidence and self validation but their fear of societies hate is great.
Yeah, I tried to watch that video but it was just too much.
"yeah, I tried to watch that video but it was just too much"
JB, it shows you give a damn.
Your feelings about your daughter are out of that same sweet heart that made you stop the video.
What I've learned from transgenders is that it is the biggest struggle to be brave enough to identify as the sex they believe they are. I think thats so brave. Im seeing that sometimes their fear of hatred and discrimination makes them not be so brave. I betcha not a one would love to get naked infront of anyone at school including your daughter.
The Christians have not been brave enough to address this on this forum. maybe because they already have more rights than these brave folk. Thanx for being honest. I was conditioned to fear these people too. It just doesn't make sense to me anymore. Let them be a beautiful addition to society. I'm sure I could learn a lot from them.
WE NEED SEX EDUCATION FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS TO INCLUDE ALL GENDER IDENTITIES AND SEXUAL PREFERENCE
Some day we will have peace. Keep the reason !
@JamieB; It's a matter of perception, based on three fundamentalist questions: First, transgender is the same as homosexuality, and everyone knows that homosexuality can be contagious, such as herpes, that reasoning is what we can find in "if young people receive sex education and are taught correct condom use all young people will fuck like rabbits by the corners", when the real problem is, precisely, that young people fuck like rabbits by the corners WITHOUT a condom. Secondly, if god has made you a man or a woman, you are no one to contradict it; indeed, even if you do it, we, defenders of the religious purity of our body -don't touch yourself, you'll be blind-, will make you don't forget that have born with a penis, or with a vulva, because your body is blessed -don't touch yourself, you'll be blind-, pretending to turn it into what it isn't, you know, it's a sin. And third, if segregation worked for almost 100 years with African Americans it will also work with perverts.
Yes, I know it's sad. I've had to swallow myself in The Atlantic comments people saying that this is a leftist issue that has nothing to do with gay rights, and it's true, it has nothing to do with homosexuals, it has to do with the perception of Transsexuality, an ignorant and stupid perception.
The point isn't that there're people who think this way and who should be living with the goats in the Haraz Mountains, the question is if most Americans think so, that's the point. It's problematic because we speak about ignorance, and a society whose religious level exceeds 90% isn't that it shines by its intellectual level.
@SBMontero, your post sums up the ignorance in the USA. Doing a Gallop survey asking 1,000 people off the street in the USA what it means to be transsexual or transgender would fully illuminate just how ignorant Americans are concerning matters of sexuality. Sad ... very sad. To make matters worse, the lack of knowledge, understanding, and tolerance will only worsen under our current political climate.
When you twist a heterosexual world by its genitals with the intent to blur the lines of normal biology, as defined by the male/female procreative union of the species and all that is represented as standards of normal human sexual behavior, what you are really asking is to reshape the world's sense of normal according to some non-specific and only-now-relative opinion. Once again, the special interests of the few are being foisted upon a world for the sake of some unwarranted claims on an equity with the majority's very real need to have established norms as a basic biological correctness that is not slaved to a preciously small-minded minority that is chemically busted and insecure about how it identifies sexually or the manner it engages in for sexual gratification.
The real desire is to defeat heterosexuality as a biological standard.
Good luck with that.
Pitar: "what you are really asking is to reshape the world's sense of normal according to some non-specific and only-now-relative opinion"
I challenge you to define what constitutes "normal human sexual behavior" without referring to the Old Testament. And I don't understand why anyone should have an opinion about someone else's sexuality. The standard should be tolerance. Why should the majority's needs have any bearing on the needs of minorities? It's not as if those needs are mutually exclusive. People should mind their own business and stop thinking about what other people do in their bedrooms.
Bullshit Pitar.
Being gay is not a matter of opinion. Self-identity isn't a matter of opinion. And no one is forcing it on anyone else. The world in general forces people that are gay, transgender, or anything that don't agree with to conform to their standard and their religious belief. To the point of murdering those people that don't conform. If it were just a matter of opinion (and it's not) People still have the right to identify as they wish. No one has the right to make them conform to a stupid christian idea of sexual identity.
Speaking as a non-heterosexual, I can tell you that the desire is not to defeat heterosexuality. Personally, my desire is to not have my sexual life made into a common insult among boys and girls on the playground. I take issue with people equating gay and transgender with bad and using such terms to demean others of the typical sexuality. It shouldn't be normal to insult a person based on their sexuality or identification, regardless of whether or not it is true.
"small-minded minority that is chemically busted and insecure about how it identifies sexually" First of all, you speak of us as if we are neurotic. A person of fluid gender is not a mental case. They're not on the same level as a psych-ward patient. LGBTQ people aren't just running around, whining about wanting a penis or not. They're campaigning for fucking rights. Rights that have been denied them by the ignorant and small-minded majority. If basic human rights were just a given, this wouldn't be an issue. If gay and trans people had all the rights and acknowledgement of heterosexuals in this country, there wouldn't be an LGBTQ movement. You'd never hear of us.
Second, we're not forcing anybody else to identify this way. If I want to say I'm a bi-curious, gender-queer drag queen, that doesn't mean you have to be one as well. My sexuality has nothing to do with yours, just like my shoe size, my favorite color, and my brand of watch has no effect on you either. Your need for "biological correctness" is not relevant to the issue at hand. I can just not be part of your "biologically correct" sample study. Focus on the majority of people who are apparently "correct", as bigoted as that sounds. It's really simple: ignore it. You can have your biological correctness, and I can have my rights. Simple as that. It's not like us existing is gonna hurt you. We're not gender terrorists, bombing theaters and shooting up schools. Simply leaving us the hell alone will suffice. It's really as easy as that.
You're a good writer, Jared.
Grazie
All that being said, I'm not transgender. I still qualify with LGBTQ as a bisexual, but I'm still a male. Many close friends of mine are transgender, though, so I take serious issue with persecution of their rights. Or anyone's rights, for that matter. It seriously bothers me that in the 21st century, 150 years after sub-basic rights had been given to a whole race, who would not get full rights for another century, we still have inequality. What the fuck happened to all humans are created equal? Only in my lifetime have homosexuals had the right to marry, and only in the last two years have trans people even been recognized for who they are. We've come so far as a nation of equality in America, but we've been struggling in the last few decades to see that sexuality is a discriminatory factor. How about everybody wake the hell up and realize that we're still people too?
People need to stop fearing those that are different.
People need to stop being sheep to religion that teaches intolerance and has them stop thinking for themselves.
People need to learn to fact check instead of go by emotion.
People need to learn to empathize with all types of people that they encounter.
No kidding.
Jared, my friend, you have taught me so much. Thank you for being so candid.:)
My pleasure
I have a 13 year old daughter. This begs the question, what if she isn't comfortable showering at school with a boy who feels as though he's a girl? Is she obligated (forced) to do so?
What if she feels uncomfortable showering in front of other girls?
Might you considered teaching your child that sometimes girls or boys are just born into the wrong body for the gender they are? This would likely assuage any discomfort she might otherwise feel.
I get it. Let me restate my question. Is a woman in the wrong for not being uncomfortable naked in a shower with a man she doesn't know?
Heck, JB, most women I know are uncomfortable to some degree being in the same room with a man or men they don't know!
This restated question is substantially different than the previous one. The previous one sounded more like you were talking about one of her schoolmates in a gym class.
Ultimately, though, I can't say whether anyone is right or wrong for any feeling they might have. But I do think that there would be one hell of a lot less pain for a lot of folks if we let go of puritanical attitudes about gender identity.
Then there's the whole double standard issue. In every establishment I have ever visited, if there is a long line to the women's room, a woman is allowed to use the men's bathroom, but not vice versa. I don't understand why. I've never known any man who had any reaction, visceral or otherwise, to entering a women's bathroom. The same goes for my transgender friends. It's a god damn bathroom! It's just a tiled room where you relieve yourself of waste. Why can any person not just use any bathroom? The only difference for a men's room is the urinal, and those aren't necessary to urinate. My school men's room doesn't even have urinals. The men's and women's bathrooms are identical. So why can't anybody use them? Just take the labels down and let everybody shit in peace. I really don't think that whether the person stinking up the stall next to you has a penis or a vagina really matters. I could be sitting in the stall next to the President of the United States, and do you know what? I'd still be using a bathroom. Nothing sexual, scary, or harmful about it.
The only place I seen women frequently use men's bathroom in the US is at a basketball stadium near me, that is frequently used for concerts. As the basketball stadium is setup for a 2-1 ratio of men to women. The men's room are setup to handle about about 14,000 men and about 7000 women. In a concert however, that ratio of men to women (depending on the concert) can be very different. Plus with the floor a concert can hold more people. Suddenly there is up to 14,000 women using facilities designed for 7000. Of the various concerts I went to there I would see large groups of women head over to the men's bathroom all the time to avoid the VERY long lines for the women's bathroom.
Pretty genius really, many women will get over the whole "no men in my bathroom!" thing real quick if it means they can skip a 20 minute line when they hafta go.
There is no anarchy when their are 100's of men and women using the same bathroom. I just see a bunch of very relieved women congratulating them selves for not being so terrified of the prospect of men using the same public bathroom as them.
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