@Catholicray

Alright, all kidding aside. In all honesty and sincerity, I really do hope you are only just goofing around for the sake of your personal amusement. I could actually appreciate that on some level, as a matter of fact. However, if you are actually being serious about the whole belief/disbelief nonsense you have conjured, then I fear you may be suffering from some form of mental break from reality. And I'm not even being my usual smart-ass self at the moment. I'm genuinely concerned.

It is obvious you are very devoted to your faith. And whether or not I agree with your particular faith (or any other faith, for that matter), I do happen to hold some amount of respect and appreciation for anybody who is truly dedicated to a chosen cause/belief. That being said, it has been my experience over the years that the more an individual is devoted to a belief/cause, the more that person becomes shaken/rattled/disturbed when that belief/cause is questioned and shown to be a less-than-credible belief/cause. For some people, the effects are unsettling, but they manage to cope and come to terms with the revelations. For others, unfortunately, having to face the reality of what is being presented to them can sometimes cause more mental/emotional distress than the person is prepared to handle. As a result, eradic and abnormal behavior can begin to manifest.

Granted, I am not a professional psychologist or therapist in any way, despite my years of experience dealing with all manners of mentally disturbed people. But you are apparently very devout in your religious beliefs, and you entered an atheist forum for whatever your reasons were. And in doing so, you began learning of things you had never heard before, with that information learned casting big dark shadows of doubt on an institution you hold dear to your heart. To be blunt, that could potentially cause considerable mental/emotional trauma.

Anyway, like I said, I really hope you are only messing around to have a bit of fun. Otherwise, I strongly recommend you seek professional counseling before your condition worsens. Take care.