THOR is VERY REAL

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NewSkeptic's picture
THOR is VERY REAL

Okay, this is a sequel to a previous thread, but somehow that seems appropriate,

How do I know Thor is real? Evidence, and mine is better because I believe it's better. and am not afraid to say so.

1. Thor is seen everywhere, on Movie screens, TV screens, books, magazines, toy stores, etc.
2. Everyone loves Thor.
3. Thor saves people and cities and worlds. I've seen it with my own eyes after paying $12 and stuffing myself with $10 popcorn.
4. Only Thor can yield the mighty hammer, okay, except for Vision, and oh yeah, Captain Marvel, but, shit, never mind on this one.
5. You can't prove that Thor isn't real.
6. Thor told me he's real.
7. I've been to Asgard and broke bread with him. (yes, before it was destroyed, SPOILER ALERT!!!)
8. I know in my heart that Thor is real.
9. If you believe in Thor and it turns out he's not real (it won't) you will have lost nothing.
10. Only Thor could have caused the universe to begin.

Okay, I'm admittedly geeking out about Endgame this weekend. Do not post spoilers here before Saturday afternoon, Thor and I are warning you.

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SomeBODIEShero's picture
@OP

@OP

I see what you did there...

arakish's picture
@ Nobody's Hero

@ Nobody's Hero

How? Religious Absolutists are notoriously visually deficient.

rmfr

SomeBODIEShero's picture
@arakish Are you a troll?

@arakish

Are you a troll?

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Somebodies hero

@ Somebodies hero

No, he is a tree....duh, watch your spellcheck.

Sheesh, theists and their complete lack of comprehension...

arakish's picture
@ Nobody's Hero

@ Nobody's Hero

"Are you a troll?"

Look at my avatar. Do I look like a troll? Didn't I just say that Religious Absolutists are notoriously visually deficient?

Now look at the attached image.

Which one looks like the troll?

rmfr

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Tin-Man's picture
@Arakish Re: Troll pic

@Arakish Re: Troll pic

Hmmm... Well, geee... Um, hate to break it to you, but you DO bear a striking resemblance.... Especially if a person's vision ain't too good. lol

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Are you feeling Loki, punk?

Are you feeling Loki, punk?

Nyarlathotep's picture
You need to add some stuff

You need to add some stuff about Thor sacrificing himself, to himself. Then it would be totally believable :P

dogalmighty's picture
LOL

LOL

Calilasseia's picture
The problem being that the

The problem being that the typical supernaturalist is incapable of understanding the utility value of parody threads ... :D

dogalmighty's picture
Ahhh pooo.

Ahhh pooo.

Sheldon's picture
Calilasseia "The problem

Calilasseia "The problem being that the typical supernaturalist is incapable of understanding the utility value of parody threads ... :D"

I concur, after many years of engaging with them I can confirm theists are entirely irony impaired when it comes to their beliefs.

Tin-Man's picture
@New Skeptic

@New Skeptic

Okay... Okay... Pretty damn good arguments you have there... *nodding head in approval*... However, I do have ONE little problem there in your #3 reason, and it makes me rather skeptical. ("...I've seen it with my own eyes after paying $12 and stuffing myself with $10 popcorn.") My concern?... At WHAT theater were you able to get popcorn for only ten bucks? Please tell me you had a discount card or something. Otherwise, that statement casts a huge shadow of doubt across your entire argument. Just sayin'...

NewSkeptic's picture
@Tin-Man,

@Tin-Man,

You think you're going to trap me that easily. Not gonna happen.

11. Thor provides moderately reduced price popcorn to those who follow him. Free re-fills too.

Tin-Man's picture
@NewSkeptic Re: "11. Thor

@NewSkeptic Re: "11. Thor provides moderately reduced price popcorn to those who follow him. Free re-fills too."

Aw, shit! For REAL???? Sssss-weeeet! Hell, in that case, where do I sign up?

Sapporo's picture
If I had an Asgard, it wouldn

If I had an Asgard, it wouldn't be so Thor.

dogalmighty's picture
That's so bad.

That's so bad.

arakish's picture
You could always try

You could always try Preparation H(el).

rmfr

Cognostic's picture
@NewSkeptic: And I was just

@NewSkeptic: And I was just Getting ready to start a thread; "God is a piece of Shit" I like your version better. Now what we gotta do is take a few posts, re-post them, and change the word "God" to "Thor." It Works!!!

Sheldon's picture
In a recent book I read about

In a recent book I read about societies that are godless and mostly secular, the author cited one person he'd interviewed that held a contemporary belief in Thor. She belonged to a small group of followers, and cited her personal experiences and feelings as evidence Thor was real.

Sound familiar?

David Killens's picture
You have to love little baby

You have to love little baby Thor, looking so cute his manger, waving his little magic hammer about.

Tin-Man's picture
@David Re: "Thor, looking so

@David Re: "Thor, looking so cute his manger, waving his little magic hammer about."

Yes. Such a precious scene. And my favorite part is that it sounded just like a regular toy rattle. But as Thor grew, the hammer grew with him. So, by the time he was in junior high, the hammer was sounding like firecrackers. Fast-forward to his graduation from Deity High School, and the hammer had taken on the sound of muscle car hotrod engines. And by the time he graduated god college, the hammer had reached its full thunder sound potential. For real! It's all there in the ancient texts of Thor.

NewSkeptic's picture
@ David Killens

@ David Killens

Such warm fuzzies. Baby Thor has always been my favorite. I still use the following prayer:

Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Thor, don't even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still really powerful. We'd just like to thank you for all the wonders in life and the reduced price popcorn at the theater, LOVE THOSE COUPONS! That you gifted me and those really hot (over 18) girls that serve it. Also I just gotta say, thank you baby Thor for saving the earth countless times and coming all the way from Asgard to help us feeble humans. Thank you, for all your power and your grace, Dear Baby Thor, Amen

Tin-Man's picture
@NewSkeptic

@NewSkeptic

I like picturing Thor in a tuxedo t-shirt. Because it says like, "I wanna be formal, but I'm here to party, too." Because I like to party, so I like my Thor to party.

NewSkeptic's picture
@Tin-Man

@Tin-Man

Here's the deal Thor is the best there is. Plain and simple. Thor wakes up in the morning and pisses excellence.

Sheldon's picture
So would they use his hammer

So would they use his hammer to nail the sucker to a cross?

Cognostic's picture
HE DIED FOR OUR SINS!!!

HE DIED FOR OUR SINS!!!

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dogalmighty's picture
LOL

LOL

Sheldon's picture
.

.

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Cognostic's picture
@Sheldon - lol

@Sheldon - lol

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