Why does Satan Wear Pants?

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rat spit's picture
@Cog

@Cog

The OverLord appreciates your concern. When He finds out which one of those hoochy mama’s passed it to Him - He’s gunna freak!

Funny thing about the Devil too - He’s constantly sexually frustrated. You see, he starts getting intimate, right? He’s gay by the way (not that it matters).

But, you know, He starts getting turned on and that little wanker of His goes full tilt. Meanwhile, his partner barely has a chub.

And so, you can guess, the poor Devil is constantly disappointed by his sexual relationships. And he despises rejection. Doesn’t react to it well at all!

Don’t ask me how I know this stuff. I err ... I read it in an ancient manuscript which has since been lost and forgotten.

Here’s a depiction of Satan’s love affair with Saddam Hussein, by the irrevocable makers of South Park.

https://youtu.be/rVrRdBSgmm0

Tin-Man's picture
@Rat Spit

@Rat Spit

Ratty! How's it hangin', dude?!?.... (Oh, on second thought, nevermind. Forget I asked. I'm afraid you might actually tell me. lol)

Didn't know The OverLord was having such problems. Sorry to hear about that. Please send him my condolences. Hey, if it helps, I've heard before that using a rubber mallet to whack the pee-pee can help clear that up in a jiffy. Although... *scratching head*... that could just be an old wive's tale. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained... *shrugging shoulders*...

By the way, I saw that South Park movie many, many years ago before I fully escaped religion. I was laughing my ass off through the entire movie, but at the same time I was constantly worried that God would suddenly cause the entire theater to collapse and erupt in a ball of flames. lol

algebe's picture
@Pirate Jack: First, how in

@Pirate Jack: First, how in the hell could Jesus be white?

I believe that's because some of the most famous Renaissance portraits of Jesus were modeled on Cesare Borgia, the son of Pope Alexander.

I didn't know the Devil wore trousers. All the pictures I've seen show him with the hairy back legs of a goat and a long tail. Perhaps it's because of the ancient Greek and Roman prejudice about northern barbarians who wore trousers. (Real civilized men wore mini-skirts in those days.)

Cognostic's picture
Algebe: I believe that's

Algebe: I believe that's because some of the most famous Renaissance portraits of Jesus were modeled on Cesare Borgia, the son of Pope Alexander.

I liked that story too, Debunked by Snopes.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jesus-modeled-on-borgia/

algebe's picture
@Cognostic: Debunked by

@Cognostic: Debunked by Snopes.

Damn. Another good story ruined. I guess a real Middle Eastern guru/conman from that era would have looked more like bin Laden or maybe Borat.

Sky Pilot's picture
Pirate Jack,

Pirate Jack,

"Now I already hear the arguments from the believers saying that these are just images created by man, but I say the WHOLE story is created by man with the art work to go with it! "

All gods are imaginary. The con man who created his particular deity gave it certain physical attributes and capabilities. If he does a good selling job other people will adopt his delusion as their own.

Just remember what the Bible says about fairy tales = don't believe Jewish fairy tales.

Up To My Neck's picture
Guys I don’t pretend to know

Guys I don’t pretend to know as much as some, or any of you. The only thing I can state fot sure is that I do not believe in any god or religion whatsoever! I do not pretend to believe it, and I leave it alone. I know for a fact it has done more harm than good, I have seen many wrongs done in its name. I hate religion. I believe the images are ignorant, I believe the followers are brainwashed. I wish it could be wiped away tomorrow.

Sky Pilot's picture
Pirate Jack,

Pirate Jack,

Most people find the idea of living forever in some type of heaven, paradise, or happy hunting ground appealing. The idea of being punished forever in some type of hell is terrifying to them. But if a person doesn't want to live forever there is really no need to believe in any kind of god creature.

Suppose there was an afterlife but everyone was like a movie zombie. That would be too funny.

Cognostic's picture
PJ: "The only thing I can

PJ: "The only thing I can state fot sure is that I do not believe in any god or religion whatsoever! "

YEAAAAA! You are one of us. "I know for a fact it has done more harm than good, I have seen many wrongs done in its name." (NOW IF WE CAN JUST GET YOU TO STOP MAKING KNOWLEDGE CLAIMS. IT'S NOT A FACT!) Please try - " I think, It seems to me, From what I have read," Calling it a fact is making a KNOWLEDGE claim. You had better brush up on your debating skills if you plan on doing that. When you make a Knowledge claim about something of which you probably can not defend, you give up all the power of your position. That is what the theists do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOHv7hqIA8o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvctvLFl2kM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg6bQ91dLHk

Up To My Neck's picture
Damn it Cog, you are going to

Damn it Cog, you are going to cause me to pull out my remaining hair! I said fact based on world history and even the Bible itself, with the flood and shit, and even what it promises in Revelations. I will buy you a drink sometime if we ever cross paths. I know you are helping and educating me, but I feel I need a drink! You are the wisest chimp I have ever seen!

Cognostic's picture
(~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0

(~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 (~)0 First round is on me and let's just invite everyone else to join us.

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