@Grinseed Re: "Perverse minds are eager to know."

*approaching microphone while performing Sign of the Pretzel across chest and crotch*... *kissing knuckle of middle finger and then glancing up at sky with look of undying gratitude*.... *annoying feedback squeal as I grab microphone*.... Uh, first of all... *nervous stammer*... I, uh, I would like to give a big shout out to my sponsors KY Personal Lubricants, Hot Pockets, Pop Rocks, and Turtle Wax for their generous contributions and their confidence in me to represent and promote their products.... *wiping sweaty forehead and hair with "Turtle Wax" towel making sure logo is highly visible*.... And, uh, please let me add that I cannot take all the credit for my accomplishments here... *using tube of KY Jelly to dab a glob of lube on knee joints*.... Uh, as, uh, you all know, it is a team effort out there, and I would be wrong for not giving my pit crew the recognition and credit they deserve.... *taking bite of a sausage/cheese Hot Pocket that mysteriously appeared in left hand*..... *talking with mouth full and trying to chew*... Ehy ehlph eepf meh ehn ip-op sae... sae...*gag-cough-cough*... *thumping chest with fist*... *swallowing*... shape out there, uh, ya know, so I can focus on being the best I can be. I would also like to thank everyone here for their love and support through all of this.... *opening pack of Pop Rocks and pouring entire contents into mouth*..... It is *sizzle-snap-pop-crackle* your enthusiasm and devotion *snap-crackle-crackle-pop-crack* that keeps me motivated *pop-pop-pop-sizzle* out there on the field... WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!!... *raising both arms high in air and pumping fists in victory celebration*.... *annoying feedback squeal from microphone amps*....