This is a question for theists.
Supposing you get the following proposition. Let us say you have a dearly loved one. And you have to choose either you go to heaven and they go to hell, or the loved one goes to heaven and you go to hell, which would you choose?
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I think you've got the options wrong. Either you give heaps of money to the church to light candles and intone mumbo-jumbo prayers, or your loved one suffers in hell. Heaven and hell aren't about rewarding and punishing the dead. They're about fleecing and coercing the living.
assuming this actually happened, I think I would pick hell. However, how could anyone be happy in heaven knowing that their loved one is suffering, and wouldn't the person in hell actually be a good person, and aware of the fact that they are good for making an ethically moral decision
As in the movie "This Is the End"?
I would tell the entity offering me this version of "Sophie's Choice" to fuck off!
This is the kind of bullsh*t proposition I was raised on. It's inherently fallacious. It assumes there IS a heaven and a hell or at least that they are reasonably conceivable. I believe neither. Therefore I can't answer the question to your satisfaction.
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I can't imagine the imagination that dreams this stuff up much less give it any coherent legitimacy.
I will certainly give this question the attention that it deserves once you can prove that heaven and hell exist. Ready? GO....