need atheist marriage counselor

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Vic Santana's picture
need atheist marriage counselor

My girlfriend is Christian and I'm an atheist. we need some help. enough said. San Antonio TX area. Is there a website or any other place to find information like this?

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Anonymous's picture
VChunk- Finding help here at

VChunk- Finding help here at Atheistic Republic, with a priest or minister, or a "counselor" or therapist depends more on where your coming from than any advice they can offer. How deep is your girlfriends faith and how passionate is your atheism will determine what will happen next. If your girlfriend believes in Adam and Eve and the talking snake or Noah's arc and that blows your fucking mind-then forgetaboutit--no chance!!! How much you can except stupid ideas and how much your girlfriend can handle your disbelief will determine whether you expect to get along.... The only advice I am giving is no advice....Everything depends on the distance between your beliefs and how you can except your differences. God Bless

Miguel763's picture
I am kind of in the same boat

I am kind of in the same boat (not the arc), my wife and her family are "convenient" christians and I'm an atheist, my wife would never tell her family in case they would burst into flames in my presence or what ever. I do not talk to them about being atheist but I also do not hide it, when they pray or say grace I politely refrain etc. I have recently tried to discuss the idea of my wife opening her mind a little, I'm not trying to convert her or anything, but to me ignorance is very limiting. When I do try to raise alternate ideas she completely shuts down, but... here is the rub, she, (my wife) has wiccan beliefs which I have no problems with, potions, spells and what not. I am a totally open minded free thinker and I believe that everyone should be able to do what ever they want as long as it does not negatively effect another person. Now that I have rambled all over the place...ideas?

Jeff Vella Leone's picture
To tell you the truth, it's

To tell you the truth, it's much easier to try to understand what there is inside of a black hole rather what is inside the head of theist partner.
Even worse, to find a solution which works on most theist partners.

You should start by making a list of what you can tolerate and what you wish.

Then move from there.

watchman's picture
VChunk & Miguel ....

VChunk & Miguel ....

You and your partners have things in common ..... I don't know you ,so I can';t see just what they are...but you got together so there must be some things.....

Politics perhaps ,or views on kids ,or shared experiences...... whatever they are....concentrate on these not dwell on the one area that you differ on....

As Jeff says ,delineate areas you disagree on and areas you agree on.... come to an agreement on how far each of you is prepared to go in order to please the other ....and stick to it.

Remember by dwelling on the difference you are saying ..."You would be perfect for me if only you would change".... implying that your partner is ,in fact ,not perfect for you.....quite a rejection......address this situation gently and calmly .....Tread Softly. You could find yourself very close to the edge very quickly..... take care.

I wish you well....

jay-h's picture
Actually the issue may be

Actually the issue may be more generic than that.

Differences in religion are not necessarily the underlying problem, religious differences can often be handled like other differences in life (such as money, philosophy or politics) and a good counselor would be able to help the individuals using the same principles that are applied to other areas of life. (I am aware of one well known atheist married to a believer).

Consider the stresses that occur when two people are of different religions, where each feels a need to not offend their own god. Atheists are closer to 'neutral' territory, we don't really care about gods.

Travis Hedglin's picture
I am no counselor, that said,

I am no counselor, that said, religious differences would seem to be difficult in a relationship. I don't think I could do it because of the chance that there could be children, and I wouldn't want someone indoctrinating my kids and scaring them with hell. Good luck.

GoldenLotus's picture
It could or could not work.

It could or could not work. That would depend on how tolerant either of you are to each other's beliefs/non-beliefs. Your must share some things (values, ideas, hobbies, etc.) in common, except for religious views, for the both of you to be willing to be together. However, if you plan to get married and have kids in the future, consider this: how are you going to raise your children? I've seen a few relationships, involving atheists and their religious partners, that fell apart as soon as the couples started dealing with issues concerning kids. Hopefully, you two can find a common ground.

gamerun0's picture
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irationreality's picture
Given the possibility of

Given the possibility of having kids and the fact I wouldn't want someone geometry dash brainwashing and terrifying my kids to death, I don't believe I could handle that. Wishing you luck.

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roseharris's picture
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