I need some advice.
I have a friend that is one of the sweetest, most intelligent people you could ever hope to meet. Every day when she wakes up she begins her task of doing everything that her man tells her to do so he doesn’t beat the crap out of her. He is constantly berating her and telling her that she doesn’t deserve him or the “love” he gives her. He gives her vague instructions each day but then he gets angry when she doesn’t do what he wants the way he wants it done. She constantly finds him spying on her as she goes about her day and she lives in fear of being punished in case she does anything that will anger him.
Despite the fact that he is very wealthy, he makes her give him a tenth of the money that she makes and he blows it on stupid stuff just to rub it into her face. She is only allowed to maintain friendships with the people that he approves of and has to shut out everyone else, even if they are close family members. Every night she has to get down on her knees and tell him how thankful she is for him.
It’s truly sad and I don’t know how to help her because she’s convinced she deserves to be treated like this and I know she doesn’t. How do you get through to a person that’s in an abusive relationship so they finally decide that their personal wellbeing is more important than making someone else happy.
I’ve tried to help her find some self confidence but all she does is get mad at me and defends him, saying things like “But I love him and he loves me,” or “Sometimes I don’t know why he makes me do certain things but I trust him because he only wants the best for me and wants to take care of me.”
What can I do to help her get out of this abusive relationship and finally start living a life that she chooses and will make her happy.
Please don’t spread this around too far. Her guy’s name is God, and I don’t want her to have to push me away for even questioning that her life needs to change or that he isn’t always correct.
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