I am a former stand-up comedian who decided I would rather just write funny stuff than deal with drunk people touching me after shows. When I am not cracking inappropriate jokes on my blog Petty Thoughts, I am an online English professor, wife, and mom to a rock musician and two dogs and two cats. I live in the land of all things Jesus and deer hunting, so I keep to myself a lot. They will likely chisel "She did laundry" on my tombstone.