Coming out of woodwork....

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Rohan M.'s picture
And all Google image searches

And all Google image searches return only "Scumbag Atheist" memes no matter what... and at the skating rink, they only serve room-temperature tea and soggy Goldfish crackers... and for no reason at all, you will often become completely frozen (as if you had gone into space without a suit) at random intervals for a split-second each time... and personally, I think that I will also be forced to skate alongside my former school bully Antonio from fifth-sixth grade (ughhh... even saying his name gives me flashbacks and the shivers), who will be immune to the freezing (and also happens to be an excellent ice-skater in this real life), and will also sometimes make me miserable with his usual narcissistic manipulation and passive-aggressive... Ughhh... I can't stand to even think of that monster anymore... But then again, Ant- er, I mean You-know-who is also a good Christian (very religious indeed), so if I do see him down there in Hell, it'd be because God felt that his heaven would be manipulating and tormenting a worthless, expendable heathen for eternity.

Anyway, you get the idea. That's what my Hell would be like if, by some cruel twist of fate, that evil genocidal maniac named God does exist.

Bad Santa's picture


Well, shit. Don't know how the hell I missed that damn sentence. Sorry, dude, but you gotta go. Get the fuck out!

LOL... Hey Tin, you better watch it! Chasing away someone who might bring you a Christmas present this year is not a smart idea!
And I know you want one really bad, judging by those pathetic, whining letters you keep writing me. In your case I might stick to my true Bad Santa nature and bring you something really nasty. (I'm already planning to permanently glue that banana peel to you bathroom door knob, happy nightmares...... BWWHAAAAAAAA!!)

Tin-Man's picture
@BS (hmmmm... Sounds more

@BS (hmmmm... Sounds more appropriate. *snicker*) Re: "And I know you want one really bad, judging by those pathetic, whining letters you keep writing me."

Hey! Not fair! You're not suppose to tell people about my letters like that! What about your confidentiality clause, Claus? Okay, FINE, though! Hang around if you like. See if I care. Uh, but, please.... please don't permanently attach the banana peel to the bathroom door knob. I no longer trust my farts.

Rohan M.'s picture
Or even more of a nightmare

Or even more of a nightmare for the atheist: that banana that God intelligently designed to fit perfectly into our hands, have a flip-top, and have a color-coding? Checkmate, ath-


Bad Santa's picture


Another note: What the fuck you doing in the fucking woodwork?

Haha... easy mate, those were just shitty composite deck boards from Home Depot, no tree harmed.
However, I have to tell you, and this is true, I am a Forester by training, spent 5 years at the university getting my Masters in Forestry, and was well trained in chainsaw operation, still have one in my shed.

Just sayin' LOL....

arakish's picture
@ Bad Santa

@ Bad Santa

If what you have posted here is any indication of what you might post in the Debate Room, I might just have to move over as the Prince of the Acerbic Smack Downs. Actually, as LogicFTW said, the more people like you that join in, the better.

Thanks for finally joining. Jump right in. Just remember the "at own risk part."


Tin-Man's picture
@Arakish Re: Bad Santa

@Arakish Re: Bad Santa

Yeah, I do believe ol' BS will fit in rather nicely here. He does seem to have some pretty good moves. LOL

Algebe's picture
Welcome Bad Santa.

Welcome Bad Santa.

Your English looks just fine to me, and this is a great place to expand your cuss vocabulary. We should start a cuss of the day thread.

As someone (Napoleon maybe) once said, a person who knows two languages is worth two people. You've also got the freedom of thought and vision that comes with atheism. Put those together and who knows what we can achieve? I pity the narrow-minded monolingual bigots mumbling prayers to their sky fairy in their ugly churches.

Rohan M.'s picture
As the saying goes, 2 working

As the saying goes, 2 working hands make a bigger difference than 4000 hands folded in prayer.

For example, actually studying for that math test on Friday improves your results around 70-80% of the time, while just praying for a passing grade and not studying or doing your homework at all works 0% of the time.

Dan Morris's picture
Hello Bad Santa! Welcome!

Hello Bad Santa! Welcome!

I feel the same way about the discussions around here, listening more than commenting. I do a lot of reading, laughing, and an occasional amen, but enjoy mostly the different points of view. The collective knowledge is something else! Glad to hear from you!

By the way, that pogo stick that I never got in 1968? No hard feelings!

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Hi Bad Santa

Hi Bad Santa

Welcome to the light! Post away your english language skills seem fine, certainly better than many a fly by we get posting on the forums!

Mind I would be chary of your Moniker...Bad Santa...@ BS.....hmmmm.........I would chortle typing that.

Anyhoo my friend, dive in, the brains here are varied and some bordering on the genius. I spend most of my time reading and learning from so many of the regulars.

Oh and Tin Man...dont worry about that petition I signed three times...once in your name....

Tin-Man's picture
@Old Man Re: "Oh and Tin Man

@Old Man Re: "Oh and Tin Man...dont worry about that petition I signed three times...once in your name...."

Thank you, Old Man. I knew I could count on you to watch my back. Unlike SOME certain person on here who wasn't even gonna let me know about the petition. Not naming any names, of course... *coughcogcough*....

David Killens's picture
Hello Bad Santa, it's my

Hello Bad Santa, it's my pleasure to meet you. I am Canadian too, living in Toronto. Please don't hate me for that. lol

Bad Santa's picture
Thanks again to all of you

Thanks again to all of you for a warm welcome, it really makes you feel at home!


Algebe: ...and this is a great place to expand your cuss vocabulary. We should start a cuss of the day thread.

This is indeed a marvelous idea! I would definitely jump in.

And hello to you @Dan!
Reading the debates and learning and laughing at the same time have been my entertainment for the last few years as well.

Dan: By the way, that pogo stick that I never got in 1968? No hard feelings!

...well, about that, it was my predecessor's fault, "Good Santa", he screwed up all the addresses that year. He got hooked on sacramental wine and tried to attend every catholic mass he could, often several times a day. And you know what that could do...
Anyway, my elves are currently working on a new toy that, I'm convinced, will be a hit, especially among adult audience....
a hove board powered by high octane alcohol. Imagine the fun people will have?

Hi @David! Great to meet another Canadian! No hate here my friend, I love Toronto... but only for short visits. It's only a short hop from the western tip of Lake Superior, Thunder Bay.
Friendly warning though, don't believe the stories of some of the Torontonians that we are so far north that you see dogs bark with their asses.
Not here, I can assure you.... it's actually further north...

Cognostic's picture
Fking asshole didn't mention

Fking asshole didn't mention me! Burn in hell bitch!!! :-)

Bad Santa's picture
BWHAAAAAA ! Now that's what I

BWHAAAAAA ! Now that's what I call pure English Cog, succinct and to the point.

Tin-Man's picture
@Bad Santa

@Bad Santa

Yeah, Cog DOES have a way with words. *chuckle*

Bad Santa's picture
@Old man

@Old man
Greetings to you as well.

Old man: Mind I would be chary of your Moniker...Bad Santa...@ BS.....hmmmm.........I would chortle typing that

Yeah I noticed that too "@BS", funny for sure, but...

Although I have a thick skin I ain't gonna take bullshit from nobody or be chary about it, so THERE! ..*chortling as I type this*...

BS signing off

but I'm learning new words, cool. Thanks Old man

thingamajig's picture
I have only posted a couple

I have only posted a couple of times, so I don't feel like I'm at a place to welcome you here but - oh well, I just had to comment cause I'm Polish too. Hello there! Greetings from the vale of tears haha

That seems to be just about the only thing we have in common though because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU RARELY SWEAR IN POLISH??? Our curse words are the bestest, and also, it seems, our main export good, kurrrwa. You should absolutely spread our culture worldwide - I'm sure that's a way to earn a place in heaven, or at least it should be!

Jokes aside, very nice to meet you :)

Tin-Man's picture
@Thingamajig Re: Polish

@Thingamajig Re: Polish Profanity

Hey there, Thing! Good seeing you again. Oooooo... Polish vulgarity?... I have to admit, I would be interested in learning a few useful swear words in the Polish vernacular. *snicker*

Bad Santa's picture
And greetings to you my

And greetings to you my friend, warm welcome!
Maybe "rarely" was somewhat inaccurate. I did use swears, especially during my university years, now it's just for fun!

Cognostic's picture
Ho no ---- I can't stop

Ho no ---- I can't stop singing....

My grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hanging on a twig.
She told me it was my thing a ma jig..

Okay, not exactly the same but the first thought that came to my mind. Unfortunately my mind works that way. Anyone on the site can validate that.

Oh,,,, My thin-a-ma-jig
My thin-a-ma-jig
I want you to play with my thing-a-ma-jig.

arakish's picture
And a heart-felt Welcome to

And a heart-felt Welcome to you thingamajig. Come right in the temperature is a fine 15,712°C, just ask any Christian. Althought we welcome all, just remember there are no lifeguards and it is "at your own risk."

So Well Come. Have some fun.


Grinseed's picture
As usual I am late to post.

As usual I am late to post. Anyway welcome to AR Bad Santa. I have to say I have enjoyed reading every one of your posts and I look forward to reading many more. Oh and just so you know, I have been bad, real bad, ok?

Tin-Man's picture
@Grinseed Re: "Oh and just

@Grinseed Re: "Oh and just so you know, I have been bad, real bad, ok?"

Nope! Nope-nope-nope! You are just a little too late to this party to try to kiss up to him now. No doubt BS is already very well aware of just exactly how good you have been. No use trying to lie about it. Sorry. You're just gonna have to settle for that lump of coal in your stocking this year. Nice try, though.

Cognostic's picture
See how Tin Man really is.

See how Tin Man really is. Just running about the site telling people what they can and can not do. There is just no end to his bossy nature. The humility. The inhumanity. The utter embarrassment to be called out by Tin Man on a forum and told you are only worthy of a lump of coal in your stocking. The rest of us have gotten together and formed a "Go Fund Me Page" just for you. The world knows of Tin Man's cruel and heartless nature. YOU WILL HAVE A CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR. Little Tommy will get his surgery. And we will all sing and dance on the Grinch's grave. Just sign the petition to have Tin Man removed from the site and all your dreams will come true this Christmas.

Tin-Man's picture
Re: "Just sign the petition

Re: "Just sign the petition to have Tin Man removed from the site and all your dreams will come true this Christmas."

And God bless us. Every one.

arakish's picture
@ Tin-Man

@ Tin-Man

***sniffling and crying and suddenly***

Nnooo!! I don't want the monster's blessing.

***loud bawling and crying***



Attach Image/Video?: 

Grinseed's picture
I really want that lump of

I really want that lump of coal. I never had a lump of coal for Christmas before, but if you have started a fund me page then maybe I can get my very own coal mine. You're the best Cog..
As for the stannic one, I don't think it a good idea to remove him. Better we keep him here under surveillance. If we lost track of him could go to ground and then we wouldn't know where he was or what he was up to. Better we magnetise the entire AR site so he cant leave, for the good of all, Besides who else would we have fun with?

Cognostic's picture
Yes. Yes. I see what you

Yes. Yes. I see what you mean. *Tearing up the petition with already 6 thousand. 6 hundred and 6ty, 6 signatures on it. * Double top secret, spy in the sky, remote drone, wired and followed everywhere, photographed and documented surveillance. We will all get together and begin a top secret spy network where minute by minute Tin Man sightings can be shared with the group. Yes yes! And then we have video documentation of his evil workings. Ahhhhhh Haaaaaa! Why didn't I think of this!


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