Maturing into what you want to be.

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LogicFTW's picture
Cant forget the reminder of

Cant forget the reminder of our own morality when someone we know and/or are close to dies.

Fairly easy to not stress much when it happens to someone else (almost necessary, you cant care about every death that occurs, as someone, somewhere dies on average every .6 seconds or so, (average.)

But someone we know and care about, it does become a real reminder of our own morality. Especially the more like us they are.

cranky47's picture
@Logic

@Logic

Indeed. The older one gets the more often the reminder.

In the last 2 years there have been seven deaths in' my circle' . Five from my mens group .Kind of expected ,our youngest member is 58, the oldest is 86. I'm 72.

This year my mother died in April .My closet friend, of nearly 50 years, died in July ,of cancer. He was 8 years younger than I.

I've had just about as much reminding of my own mortality than I can handle for one year. .

The deaths of those one cares about is also a brutal reminder that the control we think we have in our life is an illusion. All the bells books and candles in the world can't change that simple fact.

LogicFTW's picture
@cranky47

@cranky47

Sorry for the delayed response. I post here as my crazy schedule allows. I too lost a family member recently (not unexpected.) I did not know him as well as I should have, but it is that reminder that we all die, even family members, which reminds us (me) that life is very finite and while we can take steps to reduce the chance we will not die for many years, we can never fully eliminate it.

I try to remind myself to do that old latin proverb, carpe diem when faced with mortality, especially my own. We cannot change the fact that we can and will die. Tomorrow or 50 years from now. But we can.. well: Carpe diem.

I get it though, at one point we just want to go back to our happy illusion that we won't die, that those we love won't die.

At least we can take comfort that we are not going to waste our one life waiting for the "next one" like most religions have their followers do. (To me, a relic of religion's in the past trying to convince people to leave their homes to go to war in some far country, of which they are highly likely to die a horrible death and never return home.) How do you convince people to do that? Religion. It is hard to imagine a life more wasted then waiting for "the next life" of which their is absolute zero evidence of their being, while all the evidence points that when the organic processes that drives the brain comes to an end, that is it.

I think many of us have always realized, bells, books and candles do really mean nothing. Just atheist realize a truth, that makes it easier to realize just why bells books etc do not offer any real comfort.

David Killens's picture
Because we know that once

Because we know that once dead, it's all done and dusted, make every effort to appreciate your loved ones RIGHT NOW. Live as if there is no tomorrow, don't wait to show your love and appreciation, do it every day.

I have suffered losses of people in my life, but I take strength and comfort knowing that I treated them as well as possible, I did not put off giving thanks or showing affection.

This may sound silly, but I lost two of my dogs two years ago. But I take great comfort knowing that I walked them every day, I played with them whenever they indicated play. They were always fed with quality dog food. I never struck them or was cruel. I know that I gave them the best possible life I could offer, with no regrets in my actions.

And every time I lay down to sleep and they snuggled up to me, I knew they were there and in my mind, let it sink in that I loved them and having them next to me. I never took them for granted.

Talyyn's picture
Great news!!! I will shortly

Great news!!! I will shortly begin Thai Boxing and a thing called Kali Escrima! Sooo, i will likely have some bruises in the near future but it will be beneficial in other ways than just punching people.

Cognostic's picture
@Talyyn: I hope you like

@Talyyn: I hope you like pain. Thai Boxing is probably one of the very best martial arts you could choose, providing your school allows contact and does not focus on point sparing. I am assuming the Kali Escrima is some sort of grappling to balance out the Tai boxing. Tai Boxers literally kick everyone's ass in stand up. The reason for this is that they get more experience in full contact than any other form of martial arts... Now Days, with the exception of Brazillian Ju-jitsu, Sambo, Krav Magaw and possibly a few others. Possibly a good kickboxing school. I spent over 25 years in the fighting arts and loved every moment. Toughen up those shins and elbows and learn to stay on the balls of your feet. I hope you have a great time... Tai Boxing is a great choice.

Talyyn's picture
@Cognostic

@Cognostic

I am not sure if I like pain, but i am adamant in enduring it if it's necessary. In fact, a friend of mine proposed me Thai boxing because the other martial arts were not as thorough. And yes, I do want some balance because while I am not planning to get in every physical fights that could happen, I prefer to stay prepared.

Toughen up those shins and elbows and learn to stay on the balls of your feet.

The.Exact.Goal.

David Killens's picture
Pain is weakness leaving the

Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Talyyn's picture
Hey David, You're talking

Hey David, You're talking metaphorically I assume, huh?... Because...laughing...No matter how much weakness leaves my body, I'm sure as hell that punches will cause me pain, no matter what!

David Killens's picture
Talyyn, I used to use that

Talyyn, I used to use that phrase as motivation, to ignore pain and to push forward. Yes, it may not be true, and yes, it may be BS, but sometimes one needs all the motivation at their disposal to complete a training session without packing it in.

Cognostic's picture
@Talyyn: Actually, the

@Talyyn: Actually, the punches and kicks will not cause you as much pain as you imagine. You learn how to take them and the pain is so significantly less than you might imagine. Even breaking fingers and toes, which you will do, is not that bad. You will break a toe one night and be back in the gym the following night. If you work at it, you will eventually look back on your current perception of pain with humor.

Fun Story:
One of the jobs I had while paying my way through college was a waiter. I was a great evening waiter because I am a smart ass, I love to crack jokes, and I am good at it. The evening crowds loved this but the morning crowds ----- NOT SO MUCH.

So one day I am working a morning shift at Coco's. I am running about getting eggs out to tables and light speed. People what their breakfast and they want it now because they are on their way to work. They are reading papers or going over their schedules and they don't want to listen to some smart ass who is serving food and having fun.

So I am heading to a table with three or four plates in my hand when this guy in a business suit barks at me, "get me some more coffee." I looked at him with my arms full, and called out to the table I was heading to. "Excuse me! This man wants coffee right now. Do you folks mind if I take your breakfast back to the kitchen so I can get him a refill?"

Obviously, I did not wait for an answer but went to customers whose food I was carrying and proceed to serve them. Upon completing that task, I returned to the man's table and sarcastically noticed his cup was empty and asked if he would like a refill.
He just glared at me.

I went and got the coffee and returned to the man's table. As I approached the table the man stood up. He picked up his bill from the table and kicked me as hard as he could in the shin. Even with his dress shoes on, it had absolutely no effect on me at all. I just smiled at him and told him to have a nice day. I had been kicked in the shins so many times that it was little more than a pin prick to me. I just laughed to myself and continued serving my tables as he left in a huff. ( I am really good at ruining people's days.)

Awww. Fuck.... Now I am in story mode. I got another.

One day I was heading for school. I attended a local JC. I was probably around 20 and so had been studying Shito Ryu Karate for about 5 years with Fumio Demura. Anyway, I grabbed my books and exited the second floor apartment. I have no idea where my head was at but as I started down the stairs I lost my balance. I tripped on the first steps and I was going down.

I looked at the stairs, they were hard concrete poured into metal frames. I looked at the railing, should I grab it? I looked at the sidewalk below and did a swan dive. I kid you not. From the second floor, I leap out, clear the stairs, and hit the pavement below in a perfect roll. One hand on the sidewalk, tuck the chin to the chest and somersault back into a standing position.

Then I just stood their for a moment as my mind caught up with what I had just done. I was not hurt. Better than that, my books were still in my hand by my side. My next thought was to look around as my brain shouted to me, "DID ANYONE FUCKING SEE THAT!" No one had seen it. It was early morning. It was a private moment between me and my training and nothing more.

I hope you enjoy your training and may it lead you to many new adventures and insights.

Tin-Man's picture
@Talyyn Re: Cog's stories

@Talyyn Re: Cog's stories

Aw, hell, I got Cog beat easy!... *waving hand in dismissal*... I got out of bed one night to take a piss, and I stubbed the little toe of my left foot on the corner of the bathroom door frame. It hurt like a motherfucker! But, hey, at least I almost didn't cry.... *proudly puffing out chest*...

Cognostic's picture
Tin-Man: Fuck I hate when

Tin-Man: Fuck I hate when that happens. I would almost rather be punched in the face. I always hop up and down like a frigging monkey yelling oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo!

LogicFTW's picture
Hah, stubbed my pinky toe

Hah, stubbed my pinky toe (why is it always the poor little pinkie) on base trim, (corner piece) I was half asleep. And the pain woke me right up. I am like wow, it just my pinkie all the way at the end of my foot. Why am I such a pansy? Started cursing up a storm, wondering how much this was going to hurt etc.

Then I get that tell tale "wet" feeling. Yep, split my tiny little pinky wide open and it was gushing blood. Suddenly the pain was gone, the concern of me bleeding all over the place took over, and I went into "time to take care of this right now" and drop any drama I was doing mode. Cleaned up my foot, bandaged it, cleaned up the blood. Researched if I needed to get stitches. Only hours later did the pain finally return. After I already had (this still relatively minor) situation well under control.

Crazy how that works.

Talyyn's picture
@Cognostic, @David Killens,

@Cognostic, @David Killens, @Tin-Man

Once I was afraid
I was petrified
Thinking i could never endure these boxing sessions
But then I spent so many nights, being kicked all around
And I grew strong

Or at least I hope it will go this way lol. But I do understand that the more we endure physical pain, the more we can put it aside. And... fuck all these frame's (bathroom, table,..) corner.

Cognostic's picture
@Talyyn: have you seen the

@Talyyn: have you seen the video that goes with that song???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw3eP2JPFIY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6B1D0oyBK8 Part II

Talyyn's picture
@Cognostic

@Cognostic

Ahem...Hilarious I'm gonna show this to my mother... I think it will be worth it! I did Kali Escrima last night, it was very cool! Tommorrow , i will do Thai Boxing, if i can arrive in time, since i will work to the complete other side of Lyon...sigh...

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