The term "rewarding experience" has been defined through science as only being our reward system (pleasant emotions) and not our thoughts alone since our reward system is the only function of our brains that can give us a rewarding experience. It is always a rewarding experience for us to have good meaning in our lives. For example, if you perceive good meaning towards your family and living for them to help them out, then that is always a rewarding experience for you. You are perceiving a rewarding experience towards the helping of your family and towards living for them.

Therefore, it would have to be our pleasant emotions that can be the only things that can give good meaning to our lives. To say that something can have good value and worth to you even though it is not a rewarding experience for you would be no different than saying that something can be a rewarding experience for you even though it is not a rewarding experience for you. Therefore, that would be a false (contradictory) statement.

I am now going to present to you that contradictory statement here again. So here it is:

"This is not a rewarding experience for me. But it still has good value and worth to me anyway."

The statement "This is not a rewarding experience for me" is either a pessimistic statement or neither a pessimistic nor an optimistic statement. Pessimism is always a disrewarding experience for us as human beings and having neither a pessimistic nor an optimistic experience is always neither a rewarding nor a disrewarding experience for us as human beings. But...

"This is not a rewarding experience for me. But it still has good value and worth to me anyway."

Now to have good meaning in our lives is always an optimistic statement. Optimism is always a rewarding experience for us as human beings. Therefore, this is the reason why it can only be our rewarding experiences (pleasant emotions) that can make things, people, our family, this life/universe, and our goals/dreams of good value and worth to us.

So our pleasant emotions which are the result of the functioning of our reward system would have to be the scientific version of good and our unpleasant feelings/emotions (the opposite) would have to be the scientific version of bad. Having neither pleasant nor unpleasant feelings/emotions would only render you and your life having neutral (neither good or bad) value and worth.

So good and bad are scientific terms like sight, hearing, and smell. Our pleasant feelings/emotions are a sense of good meaning in our lives and our unpleasant feelings/emotions are a sense of bad meaning in our lives. Just as how a blind and deaf person cannot give his/herself sight or hearing through his/her thoughts alone, we cannot give our lives any good or bad meaning either without our pleasant/unpleasant feelings/emotions.

So if you struggle with depression and/or anhedonia (absence of pleasant emotions) which turns off your reward system, you cannot have any good meaning in your life from your friends, family, or your goals and dreams.

In conclusion, our pleasant and unpleasant feelings/emotions are what allow us to perceive a scientific version of good and bad meaning in our lives. It is not a moral version or any other version of good or bad meaning. It is instead a feeling/emotional version of good and bad and not any moral or any other version of good and bad.

Therefore, with all of this being said, the moral (personal value judgment) version of good and bad is fake and does not make us or our lives good or bad. There is instead a scientific version of good and bad that humanity and science is currently unaware of and I think I might have discovered it.

I myself struggle with depression and anhedonia (absence of all my pleasant emotions). This personal experience has led me to this theory. My intuition has led me to this theory. It could encourage scientists like never before to find cures knowing that our pleasant feelings/emotions are all that we have in our lives to make us good people and our lives good. Science could create an eternal blissful life in the future and resurrect people such as me who have missed out on life so we can live this eternal blissful life.

So it is vital that scientists take a look at my theory and test it out and validate it through tests and evidence. Therefore, it is vital for you to hand my theory over to intelligent scientists who can test my theory out.

I would like to make a concluding statement of my theory here. I actually find the moral version of good and bad to be quite offensive to me. This is because the moral version of good and bad is all about our thinking. It says that how we feel alone does not give our lives any good or bad meaning and that it is instead all about how we think that gives good or bad meaning to us and our lives.

But this is quite an insult to people such as me who struggle with depression and anhedonia. It is heartless and cruel towards suffering people such as me. It says:

"I don't care about how you feel. How you feel is nothing important. Your moods (feelings/emotions) are nothing good or bad in of themselves. Just change your thinking and you can live a good life."

Really, it would be no different than if I decided to pour gasoline on someone, light a match on them to set them on fire, and then told them from there:

"Just change your thinking and you can live a good life. Your pain and misery is nothing bad in of itself. You are just having a very pessimistic outlook on life here."

Even if I said it in an empathetic manner such as:

"Don't worry. I will help you all I can to find good meaning in this life. You can still live a good life by changing your thinking even while living your whole life being lit on fire and screaming."

Then this would still be a nonsensical statement. A person going through such misery would easily end his/her life. It is us having bad meaning in our lives that results in suicide. So it clearly goes to show you here that pain and misery in of itself really does give bad meaning to our lives and that it has nothing to do with our way of thinking.

So to say that severely depressed people who commit suicide are selfish since these people could still have the chance to find good meaning in their lives even while struggling with their depression, then this would be no different than saying that this person lit on fire was selfish for ending his/her life since he/she could still find good meaning in his/her life even while being lit on fire and screaming.

So that is the reason why I am on a mission here to destroy this moral version of good and bad and to instead uncover this scientific (feeling/emotional) version of good and bad that humanity and science is currently unaware of. I can't seem to destroy it alone since I lack any means necessary to actually disprove this moral version of good and bad. Therefore, I need other people on my side including my family to help me destroy it.

The fact is, if people are going to be cruel and insensitive towards my suffering of depression and anhedonia with this moral version of good and bad, then I am going to be cruel and such in return to these people. I will return the favor for what they did to me. I will not only destroy their moral version of good and bad (their hope) that they live by in order to make their lives hopeless and meaningless to them, but I will also return the favor in other ways as well. Since my life has been destroyed and rendered meaningless by this depression and anhedonia, then that is why I am going to return the favor and take away the hope and meaning of the lives of these other people.

This life is currently a life of suffering that is inevitable for us all as human beings. People who go through much suffering would hear moral advice from other people who are highly intelligent such as:

"Yes, this life has and always will be suffering. And, yes, when you die, that is it. There is no afterlife of eternal bliss. But what is important here is what legacy you leave behind for others in this world."

This seems to be the very defining of life itself here. That severely crippled depressed people who are treatment resistant are supposed to accept their misery and are supposed to somehow find good meaning in their lives through their thoughts alone anyway. Not only while struggling with this crippling depression their whole entire lives, but also despite knowing that when they die in the end, that they will have no eternal blissful afterlife as a reward for all their suffering.

Do you realize what this makes me want to do? It makes me want to take the heads of those people who gave that "moral advice" and mercilessly shove them in a grinder so they know how it feels. I would then tell them the same "advice" to their faces. I would say unto them:

"Just find good meaning in your life right here and now despite your head very slowly being grinded away to bits. You just need to look on the bright side. Look at all the things in this life that can still give your life good meaning despite your head being slowly grinded away to bits."

But if this life can never be an eternal blissful one and we as human beings are all bound to find good meaning in our lives despite our depression and absence of pleasant emotions and this is the cursed way of life we are all bound to live, then if there were a core of this very universe that symbolizes this very way of life which kept this universe alive and up and running, then I would go to that core right now and destroy it. It would then unleash a black hole that would take me and everyone else with it in.

I would then laugh like a madman knowing that I have destroyed this universe I hated so much by my own hands rather than me dying naturally from old age with this moral lie still living on. I wouldn't get any pleasant emotions from laughing though since I have anhedonia. Now I don't hate innocent living things, this universe itself, or innocent people. It is just that it is not only worth it to destroy this entire universe in order to rid of this moral version of good and bad that lives on that I hate so much, but also to destroy those people I hate and to eliminate all the suffering in this world once and for all as well.

I am actually a sociopath/psychopath like Hitler. Except that my race of people that I wish to harm and deem inferior are not innocent people. They are instead people who deserve it who have it coming to them. These are those types of people I mentioned before who are cruel and insensitive towards my suffering with this moral version of good and bad.

But it all depends on their personality though. If they were someone compassionate and innocent and they told me this moral lie, then I would not become psychotically enraged against them at all one bit. But if they presented themselves in such a manner that is insensitive and dismissive/belittling of my suffering, then I would become Hitler and shove this person in an oven and bake him/her on full blast heat.

Therefore, you can see just how vital my good moods (pleasant emotions) are to me. They are sacred, divine, transcending, and absolutely life dependent for me. My good moods are all that I have to make me, my life, and my composing dream good and worth living. If I am not in a good mood and I am instead depressed and/or anhedonic in which I cannot have my good moods back sufficiently or fully for most or my entire life, then it all comes down to me being a psychopath like Hitler.

So you can see why it is I am so enraged against this moral version of good and bad. I wish to take it in my hands, grind it and crush it until it bleeds to death, and instead have the rebirth of something new. An eternal blissful life of no more suffering, depression, and no more anhedonia created by science in the future and have people such as me who have missed out on life resurrected so we can live this eternal blissful life. I personally don't think there is an afterlife. So that is why science is now my only hope here.

But the 1st step to getting there is to help me disprove this moral version of good and bad. If this scientific (feeling/emotional) version of good and bad were to be proven, then that would really encourage scientists like never before to create this eternal blissful life and to find a way to resurrect people knowing that us having no unpleasant feelings/emotions (suffering) and us having our pleasant feelings/emotions (good moods) for all eternity is the only greatest life there can be for us.

This moral version of good and bad has done basically nothing for most people who suffer from severe crippling depression and other forms of suffering as well. A severely crippled depressed person on the brink of suicide who is treatment resistant might be told by someone that he/she still can have good meaning in his/her life despite his/her crippling illness. But does that stop him/her from feeling suicidal and does that stop him/her from committing suicide? No!

Even with Robin Williams who was a highly moral individual who helped many people out in this world. Did the moral version of good give his life any good meaning despite his depression? Apparently not since he committed suicide in the end. So much for this useless and mocking/insulting moral version of good and bad then!

The only thing that will work here would be the scientific version of good and bad. That is, creating an eternal blissful life through science in the future to free all people of suffering. I realize that there are, in fact, some people who would become suicidal from living an eternal blissful life and that there are, in fact, people who still find reason to live on through the moral version of good and bad despite all their pain and misery. But even so, I still highly suspect this moral version of good and bad to be a deluded lie that people believe in and delude themselves in.