When you find yourself at work, a meeting or social gathering and someone conducts a prayer, do you bow your head?
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I don't bow mine, and if a theist questions why I don't/didn't I inquire if they had bowed their head with eyes closed how did they know I was not bowing mine.
Not usually. But there may be circumstances where I would.
Those moments wouldn't be to pray, but as a moment of reflection over someone's life or something. Never in response to a call for prayer to bless something or as an invocation. That's just messed up to expect someone to participate in that type of cultish ritual.
It would be fun to be in the position where one could mess with everyone else...
Start a prayer yourself, and see if they all pay due respect.
"Thor,
Son of Odin and Earth,
God of Thunder.
My friend, and Guardian of my family.
Thank you very much for blessing and protecting
My family
My house
My property
and my business.
Thank you."
Now of course I have to do this someday.
If you do, please tell us about it. :)
Yea that would be awesome pragmatic, I can imagine the look on their faces :) Just hilarious.
I actually hold mine higher.
I go along with the usual symbolic displays of the moment if necessary. Yes. I think when in Rome act like a Roman.
I've been invited by Christians to their organizations for the purpose of exposing me to their ways. I don't mind. I'm resolute and comfortable with who I am. They aren't. I'm a problem for them, friendships notwithstanding, because they cannot understand a person who does not subscribe to a life of spiritual purpose. I understand that and that's why I will outwardly show them respect. It doesn't matter to me what I do because it's a meaningless display of symbology that is not going to have any negative connotation in my life, and certainly does not conscript me into their ranks.
It may bother me that my fellow man has been groomed by his life's exposure to think less of himself without accepting the existence of a god, but you'll have that.
It depends on the situation. For a tragedy, I do bow my head, although I don't close my eyes. It's a moment of respect and reflection.
For everything else, no. I just remain silent.
I was caught out by this once. The Real Estate Agent selling our home, a born again Christian, asked if we would do an impromptu prayer to promote luck and good fortune whilst he found a buyer. I felt humiliated but obligingly bowed my head and joined in with the amen at the end. It wasn't so bad for my wife as she's got some Christian leaning but I was completely outraged albeit silently. Never again!
Thats so sneaky....hate when they pull that crap. You should have requested to lead another prayer right after him to the spaghetti monster.
No, of course not. Why would I pretend to pray just because other people are praying? If anyone notices and gets bitchy about it, I can just remind them that they couldn't know I wasn't bowing my head unless they head their head up and eyes open too. And then remind them that I'm not religious, nor do I have to pretend to be. But I doubt anyone I know would be disrespectful enough to bring it up in the first place.
As someone still making somewhat of a transition from Southern Baptist deacon to atheist, it has been “interesting”. Early on I was called on a few times to lead the prayer. I was not a happy camper, but complied for the sake of the event. I found it a bit ironic that they asked me to pray when they probably hadn’t prayed themselves recently themselves if ever. If they had, it would been more hypocritical then me praying.
My grandmother pasted away a couple of weeks ago. She was a very devote Christian. The kind that people say if she can’t make to heaven no one can. I could not even force myself to bow my head. I did not see it as being disrespectful to her, but being true to myself. Something I had to do. If the family was pissed, I was and am ready to accept it.
As a side note, it was interesting how some old gospel songs that once touched me had rang very hollow.
Family funerals can be another situation believers can choose to trap you in uncomfortable situations. I had an uncle that was a religious hypocrite his entire life (owned a nightclub, sold liquor etc.) but that didn’t keep him from proselytizing. Anyway, when he was on his deathbed there was pressure to get me to attend. I knew what they/he were up to, they wanted to put me in a powerless situation where he could admonish me from his deathbed in front of the rest of the family and I would be expected to stand there and listen to his rant. I chose not to go and not to attend his funeral. He had overstepped and disrespected my boundaries repeatedly years earlier.
Real word example:
Sunday my son was baptized in a Lutheran church here in Germany. He is 13 years old and made this decision on his own. I have no religious belief and my wife, who does, is not part of any organized religion. Basically, all his friends are having confirmations and he want's to get in on the action.
I went to the service, which means that I put myself in the situation, so it's not really a prayer trap like the op described, but still this is how I handled it. I stood up when everyone else stood us, I remained silent and respectful during any invocations or blessings (though I didn't close my eyes or bow my head), and I shook hand with and thanked the pastor afterward. It was not altogether unpleasant an experience, which is good because I have to do it all again next month for his confirmation.
I think it depends much upon the setting.
My father was a religious man but he knew that I am not. He died two weeks ago and I attended his funeral on June, 23. When the preacher, during the services, requested everyone join in prayer, I took the opportunity while everyone's heads were bowed to silently take pictures with my phone of things that I want to remember. I don't bow and join in on public prayers. When my granddaughter graduated from high school, the student who gave the commencement speech said that she wanted to see every head bowed and every eye closed while she led everyone in prayer. I found that slightly offensive. Anyway, it was another opportunity to take pictures.
My family is mostly Mormon, and they pray a lot at almost All FamilyEvents, and I live in Utah so I end up in prayer traps all the time. I admit I caught my self bowing my head and closing my eyes and saying amen back when I first became atheist. It was an automatic programmed response from the years I spent as being raised as mormon. I caught myself doing this and decided that It seam silly to participate exspecially since it was meaning less. I wasn't being true to my own beliefs, I was perpetuating the public pressure to along with it, I didn't see anything that was direpectful about just sitting there quite until they where done, and It also might give people around me the impression that I might still have some faith. So I never did it again.
At first it was awkward. It was like what do I do just sit here? And the prayer seam so long and silly, Bit that's what I did. After time it didn't feel awkward anymore. The prayer are still long and silly, and the thought of bowing my head started to feel awkward. So I don't think I could go back to it if ever wanted to.
Nobody has ever called me out on it, but I would consider it a form of disrespect, and hypocrisy if they did. I do notice that they don't usually shame adults for this but they will children. Which angers me when I see it, and if they say anything to my daughter I set people strait. Not bowing your head is just as much a act of personal beliefs and doing it and shaming someone for it what ever choice they make is disrespectful.
I have also notice over the past few years it a good way of finding out if there are any fellow atheist in the room. I usually look areound hole everyone else is prayer and I will catch the gaze of other who are not participating and smile as if hey me too. It kinda fun.
I don't bow my head for prayer or close my eyes. I watch the person leading the prayer. I don't feel the need for prayer, it's for people looking for forgiveness of their sins and what help they can get from their god.
In my experience, if someone calls for prayer outside of a church and I'm around, it's usually a situation that warrants some reflection and respect. So I'll bow my head, close my eyes and reflect silently. That's not prayer, but looks enough like it to mollify anyone watching. If it's not that kind of situation, then I'll just remain politely silent while everyone else does their thing. Nobody's called me out on it yet.
If anyone says anything just remind them that in Matthew 6:5-7 Yeshua said that his followers were to do all of their praying in private, like in a closet by themselves.
Matthew 6:5-7 (CEV) = Prayer
"5 When you pray, don’t be like those show-offs who love to stand up and pray in the meeting places and on the street corners. They do this just to look good. I can assure you that they already have their reward.
6 When you pray, go into a room alone and close the door. Pray to your Father in private. He knows what is done in private, and he will reward you.
7 When you pray, don’t talk on and on as people do who don’t know God. They think God likes to hear long prayers."
Personally, I've always hated prayers, especially public ones even in church. They are just a whine from the person doing the praying that they think their favorite deity's plan for him sucks and he wants a better deal.
IMO the most anyone should ever pray is just one time. After all, if you believe in God and say that you want his will to be done on Earth as it is in heaven why would you ever ask for anything else? You're getting exactly what he wants you to get.
no. i look around to find out who else is not praying. usually i smile at my fellow skeptics
So do I!
simply no
yeah, i would bow my head, but don't make me do the praying.
it'll just last for 2 sec then "amen"
at least its short, right?
Same here! Whenever the time comes for prayers at Thanksgiving, the end of a family vacation, or during a Scouts meeting, I do just that- patiently stand there and wait for everyone else to finish, and maybe bow my head and say "Amen" at the end to make the people who don't already know about my true beliefs think that I was actually praying.
It depends. If I put myself in the situation then I take responsibility for my choice and bow my head. If I am confronted with a situation I will refuse to participate. If I go to a friends home whom I know is religious and the family bows their head at the evening meal, they all know I am an atheist, I will not cause a problem.
If I am out being social and a group around me decides to pray because of a fire or earth quake or for no reason what so ever, I will not participate and may even confront them with their ignorance.
Like the fire and earthquakes answer. They should fill one room with "thoughts and prayers", and another with donations to relief organizations, and then see which one makes a bigger difference on the situation.
I have been in this situation a number of times. I always just look straight ahead and say nothing. I do wonder if people are watching to see if I join in, particularly with ‘the Lord’s prayer’ etc. but nobody has ever said anything. I guess it’s easy for me because I live in a place that’s not overly religious, so most people don’t care, and those that do care usually don’t say anything anyway. It was interesting at my Mother’s funeral as all eyes were on me (and my siblings). I was asked to do a reading at the Church service, it was a lot of BS, but I did it for Dad. At the cemetery I did not bow my head for the prayers, I guess folks just thought it was because I was mourning.
You don't have to. Just patiently stand there and wait for the theists to finish, and when they say "In Jesus name" or "we ask this in your name", then bow your head and say "Amen" with them to make them think you were actually praying.
Either that, or you don't even need to pretend; prayer doesn't really make any difference other than make you feel like you're helping, so it really doesn't matter what you choose to do.
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