Coping with the death of a parent

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arakish's picture
@ Flamenca

@ Flamenca

My mother decided that we would not tell him the truth, so he had a reason to fight until the end. We respected her wishes, but my opinion is that we should have the right to know we are going to end this amazing, and only, life of ours, and be given the chance to finish unsolved issues, or spend our last moments however we please.

I know it may have seemed I stayed away from this thread. I did not do so purposefully. I saw this thread on my phone and wanted to reply, but I just cannot do any typing on a damn phone. I am one of those who needs a full-sized keyboard.

The last three days, I have been in the hospital with an awful string of doctor's appointments and medical tests and scans as many different ones are still trying to determine why I am suffering such massive amounts of pain. Yesterday, I had to go without any medications due to some of the tests/scans. By the time lunch time arrived (1100hrs, only 12 hours after last dose of medications), I was in such massive amounts of pain that I spent the rest of the afternoon phasing in and out of semi-consciousness due to shock. It was then that I said to myself, “O! MY! FUCKING! GOD!” (bad habit those Religious Absolutists forced onto us using that "g" word ain't it). I never realized how much pain those medications were staving off. Even now I would still say the same thing. Anyway…

My father died 15 years ago, just two weeks after my grandmother died. My grandmother died Friday 12 December 2003. My father died Friday 26 December 2003. My grandmother was 98 years old when she died. My father was only 67. The one saddest fact I have is that if my family had not been killed, my grandmother may have been able to have met her great great grandchildren if one or both of my daughters had children as young as I did.

I am greatly heartbroken by your lose. However, I also know he is now better off. My father died of a massive myocardial infarction. According to the coroner, it may have been painful at first, but it also very quick. Thus, he did not suffer much. I would think he suffered more in the two weeks after his mother died less than two years short of the century mark.

I do agree with the “be given the chance to finish unsolved issues, or spend our last moments however we please.” I agree in that it would be nice to know when we may die so we could resolve any issues we feel we need to address. And to live life as we wish. On the other hand, I for one live life second by second as if the next second will be my last. Then again, that is how I have always lived by life. The only unresolved issue I truly have is not seeing me daughters finish growing up, fall in love, get married, have children, etc. My biggest sadness is not being able to walk BOTH of my daughters down the wedding aisle at a double wedding. Atheist style of course!!

Thus, … … …, yeah.



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