I doubt he ever existed though.
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I sometimes wonder if anyone existed before me. I accept the notion that Jesus existed. In the same fashion that I accept the notion that Aristotle existed. He was a mortal man and ended just as other mortal men do. They use up their time and return to the elements.
Based on how he is characterized by history - Neopolian Bonaparte said history is nothing but lies - I suspect he would tell us the Father will turn us away at the gate.
@Bright Raven
I think it would be more like, "Lets see here, your book of life says you started being an atheist at (Age) and were an (Religion) in the beginning." And then would take a look at how you lived your life. If one treated other humans nice regardless what that persons beliefs are. Which I just do for the better of the human race and not cause some god told me so. I do things as I feel right by me in a way I am my own god. I don't do things according to what some god says, I run my own life. Anyways if this god exists then it's way beyond our understanding, and there's no book on this god. But I doubt seriously anyway there's a god.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=3ETSBh59l3g
While I think some sort of "son of god" as depicted in the bible actually existing is EXTREMELY unlikely, (about on par with the likelihood that the sun rising from the west tomorrow morning instead of the east.)
If Jesus as depicted in the current popular bible/religions actually existed, and wanted to have a conversation with me, in my own imagination it would go something like this:
Jesus: Hey man, yeah I am actually real, want to talk?
Me: Hey jesus, wow I am really surprised, the history your supposed followers wrote down of you makes you highly illogical, unreasonable and unlikely. They can not even agree if you are god, son of god, or if you will come back, ever showed up in first place etc. Its a real mess.
Jesus: Yeah, you would think my supposed followers would realize their many different stories of me cannot be all correct, and that a powerful majority of them must be wrong on some major details. I am particularly annoyed that my supposed followers wholesale slaughtered and enslaved each other over these differences as well. I really screwed up showing up ~2000 years ago, I thought I was helping folks, but instead many more have died fighting over unevidenced fictional details about me then folks I "saved" roughly 2000 years ago.
Me: So you had no idea the repercussions of you showing up and dying for everyone's sins ~2000 years ago?
Jesus: No. It is a big reason why I stayed hidden for so long afterwards, I am not omniscient, that should be obvious. 20/20 hindsight; I should of known revealing myself to a bunch of bronze age goat herders, farmers, etc that could barely read and write was a bad idea for many reasons. I did not mind the whole dying part, dying is easy, I knew there was an afterlife, and hey who doesn't love a martyr? I just had no idea what people would do with my name after I was long "dead."
Me: Certainly seems obvious to me that you are not omniscient and apparently "god" did not bother to tell you just how badly things would go, seems pretty selfish with important details that he apparently knows but will not share.
Jesus: yeah you would think was obvious that I do not know everything, gotta say humans surprise me even to this day. My birthday is now a massive commercial opportunity in many parts of the world, and my resurrection celebration is often times centered around a bunny that lays chocolate eggs and other 20th century candy for kids to find. I as a "deity" could never possibly predicted that one!
.
I will stop here but my imagination on such an encounter certainly runs wild :)
@Logic
It would be nice to turn this post in a comical play.
Hah, that would be fun :)
I would write it as a very dark comedy play.
Would certainly have tons and tons of content to pull from.
@LogicFTW
I was having a good time reading that. Jesus would have a lot of explaining to do.
Of course as I said in my other reply I am nice to other people for humanity not for a god.
@Fievel Mousekewitz
It always cracks me up that theist refuse to accept that someone that identifies as an atheist can be nice, simply for the reason of being nice to other people. No god required.
It cracks me up because it is ignorance manifest. Something that I know from personal experience that no god is required. Most people that know me in person would describe me as "nice." And outside of this group here, I am far and away the most strongly "atheist" (in terms of thinking and discussing it) person I know.
@LogicFTW
[quote]It always cracks me up that theist refuse to accept that someone that identifies as an atheist can be nice, simply for the reason of being nice to other people. No god required.[/quote]
You got that right.
[q]It cracks me up because it is ignorance manifest. Something that I know from personal experience that no god is required. Most people that know me in person would describe me as "nice." And outside of this group here, I am far and away the most strongly "atheist" (in terms of thinking and discussing it) person I know.[/q]
A god wasn't required to start this universe either but Christians think a god did it.
Their god killed many, but that's ignored. It boils down to an almost cult.
"Here's the single shred of evidence that those other fuck wits couldn't muster, in other 2000 years!"
......
"Ohhh... and JFK was killed by more then one guy, Epstein didn't commit suicide and I had nothing to do with michael Jackons 'juice'!!!!"
Personally, I cannot accept the supernatural aspect of jesus. But if I strip away the woo woo and approach jesus as a person who did everything else depicted in the bible, his profile reminds me a lot about Charles Manson.
He came from a dysfunctional family, could not hold down a steady job, he was incredibly manipulative, and he gathered around him a devout bunch of followers who were willing to do whatever he told them.
I can not determine whether jesus had the homicidal and immoral tendencies like Charles, but I do believe he was incredibly selfish, and had the ego and drive of Donald Trump.
He was a user of people, he was manipulative, and it was all about him.
Jesus would not talk to us atheists once he realized we were impervious to his cult, he would just order others to (at best) ostracize, or (worst case) kill us.
@David Killens
"Jesus would not talk to us atheists once he realized we were impervious to his cult, he would just order others to (at best) ostracize, or (worst case) kill us."
And I would tell him to fuck off too. LOL.
I don't need a god to tell me to be good. I just am as I want to be treated nice too.
I think a few of the things he would say include:
“What the fuck is this interweb thing I keep hearing about?”
“Why isn’t Benny Hinn in prison yet?”
“The first Easter was actually on April 1. Hahaha, we really pulled a great April fools prank on folks!”
“My mom was no virgin, believe me.”
He would ask why you lot are not circumcised and not keeping the Holy Days.
He would not talk to you anyway as you are not Jewish.
Cyber would be in the shit for having authority over men.
and cheap red wine would flow from all the public fountains!
@Old man shouts.
"He would ask why you lot are not circumcised and not keeping the Holy Days.
He would not talk to you anyway as you are not Jewish.
Cyber would be in the shit for having authority over men.
and cheap red wine would flow from all the public fountains!'
Alrighty then ----- ***
In case you need more proof Jesus was Jewish :
He was 30 years old, was unmarried, still lived with his parents and his mother thought he was god.
A word about Jewish mothers: It is said Jewish mothers invented guilt. Perhaps, but I was the catholic church with complete cooperation from Catholic mothers who made it an art form .
***why yes, as it turns out ,I'm half Canadian.Why do you ask?
Addendum I've always wondered how Jesus remained single in that place and time. I once read that the greatest obligation for a Jew is to have a family. Plus life expectancy was only 25 to 30.
@ cranky47
"I've always wondered how Jesus remained single in that place and time."
A dude with no history if any female companions, constantly hanging out with other guys .........
@David Killens
Mary Magdalene provided female companionship.
@ Bright Raven
"Mary Magdalene provided female companionship."
Thirteen dudes and a hooker.
A companion or a source of revenue for a motley bunch of rough characters?
But you are technically correct Bright Raven.
@David
sorry to be a noodge;
Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute and in no place in the bible does it say she was. In fact, some modern scholars believe Mary was 'the beloved disciple'. She may have been Jesus' squeeze or even his wife. . Although one might expect the gospels to mention the wife of Jesus.
The mistake is thought to have been caused by Peter being a jealous prick. Be fascinating to speculate on what the that branch of the way may have been like with a woman in charge .Probably have fizzled because of the misogyny of the age. (and much ,much later)
The articles linked here are fascinating
http://theconversation.com/friday-essay-who-was-mary-magdalene-debunking...
https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/people-cultures-in-the-bible/p...
@ cranky47
Actually, I am in agreement. But in my first post I sort of backed myself into a corner by making my profile from what was "depicted in the bible". And since the bible does not mention her as a squeeze, I omitted it.
My theory is that jesus was normal in his sexual tendencies, and he and Mary were banging each other, possible had kids. But when the bible was assembled, that convenient part was left out because the assemblers of the bible wanted to depict jesus as incorruptible and holy, and all that crap.
@ Cranky
Now I have to correct you...."Plus life expectancy was only 25 to 30." only if you average the population. Infant mortality was very high, slaves and military deaths skew the stats.
. However if you made past about 13 as a peasant you could expect a life span of 40 to 50 years, middle class like Jesus, a decade or more longer and Aristos to 80 years. That is males.
Female mortality was very high during child bearing days, so there is a disproportionate spike from 14 - 25 year old females but if you made it past there you could expect a 50+ years for the poor, and the same as men or slightly longer for the middle/merchant class and the the aristos.
All in the Roman records! Plus ca change..the rich get the best of it!
@Old man shouts clouds:
Fully agree.
Been true for thousands of years and still true today: what is the single most accurate data point to use to predict the likely lifespan of someone?
Wealth. And wealth of the parents if the person is still dependent upon their parents. Income is also a very good measure, but wealth is eerily accurate.
Location, health, job description (without pay data) are all useful measures as well but lack the long term predictive power that wealth does.
I know exactly what he would say. Are you ready? I know the answer!!!! It is:
"Shalom."
What would Jesus say?.... Hmmm.... Well, my guess would be something along the line of, "OW! SHIT! Where the fuck are the bandaids?!?"
"I'mm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Sorry, I got held up."
@Grin Re: "I'mm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Sorry, I got held up."
...LMAO... To add to that a bit, if you don't mind....
"Yeah, those damn Roman guards arrested me on some bullshit charges. Naturally, they made me a little cross because of that."
With respect to the "coming soon" nonsense that's been a staple of the various species of Rapture Retards across the ages, I satirised this some time ago as follows .... (see attached image)
Attachments
Attach Image/Video?:
...”I refuse to submit to any of your “tests””...
"Uh, excuse me... Could somebody please direct me to the nearest JC Penney? I'm trying to "blend", and I feel that this dusty flowing robe is really making me stand out too much. Oh, and if one of you could treat me to a nice lunch, that would be wonderful."
I'm not the messiah.....now fuck off!
https://youtu.be/SSdXtDjM4lI
@Sheldon
...LMAO... I don't even need to click on the link to know the vid clip you attached... LMAO...
Edit to add: Yep! I was right!... LMAO...
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