What if Jesus did come back?

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Cognostic's picture
There you are, lying

There you are, lying peacefully in your grave. Nothing, no thoughts, no conflict, no hot, no cold, just pure Nirvana. Suddenly Jesus comes along and says, "You're resurrected/" Now you got to worship, argue with family, laugh at those people burning in hell, sing silly religious songs, worship some more, make sure you follow all of Gods rules and never turn against him like Satan once did. What a frigging stupid existence. I think I will give it a miss.

mbrownec's picture
There is no way in the world

There is no way in the world there is going to be the Second Coming of Jesus. How can there be a second when the first (his supposed birth) was/is a myth to begin with. There is absolutely no record or substantiated evidence that a Jesus from Nazareth ever existed.

However, I still want to play the mind-tease game the original poster presented. So ... I see the following interaction between this Jesus and me:

** Firstly, we would have a very candid, non-sugarcoated conversation about his psychotic father,

** Secondly, I would make sure that he understood that he deserves the type of people he wants to spend an eternity with.

Sometimes life can be a real bitch -- even for a mythical god.

Kataclismic's picture
Physics would break down,

Physics would break down, Black holes would explode, the sun would freeze solid, planets would stop mid-rotation and we would all be flung out into space to meet our maker.

Oh wait, that's exactly how the end of days is supposed to be, nevermind.

hiwaystar's picture
What if Muhammad came back?

What if Muhammad came back? What if the Flying Spaghetti Monster came back? I'm pretty sure they're all comin' back because some books say so.

arakish's picture
For me, he'd probably say,

For me, he'd probably say, "Hi, I am Jesus."

Then I would give him a funny look, shake my head, and say to myself, Another damned American who cannot seem to pronounce foreign names correctly, then holler over my shoulder, "It's pronounced Hey-soos you dummy."

And keep on walking.


mickron88's picture
i remember vine video...and

hahah..i remember a vine video...and it goes like this...

a theist preacher approaches two mexicans gardening...their names are pablo and hesus
preacher ask pablo:

PEACHER: don't you know that "jesus" loves you?
PABLO: (turns to his cousin hesus asking) hesus do you love me?
HESUS: no!...*strange stare* infact i hate you..!!
PABLO: (turns to the preacher saying) see?...now, jog on!!!

Cognostic's picture
When I die, I am going to be

When I die, I am going to be posthumously baptized by the Mormons. God will then give me my own planet with loads of wives so I can begin spreading my seed.

Cognostic's picture
When I die, I am going to be



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