New face of Jehovah's Witnesses

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algebe's picture
New face of Jehovah's Witnesses

Twice in the past week I've opened my door to find a pair of lovely young girls, beautifully made-up and stylishly dressed, on my doorstep. I call them girls, because in my judgment these kids couldn't have been more than 17 or 18. Each time they tried to engage me in conversation about the state of the world, before handing me Jehovah's Witness literature. Out in the street an oldish guy, presumably their handler, was keeping watch.

Is this a new tactic? It's easy to argue with ignorant old gits peddling creationism and Old Testament woo. But who could be unkind to these pretty kids? I just told them to get out while they're still young, but who knows what abuse they've already endured in that criminal organization.

How low can purveyors of god's morality sink?

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Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Algebe

@ Algebe

Very low...last year I had a group coming to my door with pretty little primary age girl in her best clothes: "Would I like to listen to her recitation? She had prepared it especially for us"
I refused which caught them totally off guard,called the senior handler a complete bastard for doing that to a child and threatened to call the Child Protection People if they carried on dragging the poor kid around the street, door to door to perform like a godamn organ grinder's monkey.(Sorry Cog) Told the kid that she was probably very good but that the adults she was with were liars and should take her home and let her play.
First time I have seen a JW handler lose his temper, calling me all sorts while ushering his group of sheep out of our complex at a high rate of knots.


(Edit spelling)

Grinseed's picture
@ Algebe,

@ Algebe,

using young pretty girls is one of the oldest forms of woo.

And for some nothing can be too low if it is done in the name of their god and to push the pure, virtuous, spiritual life, that they so obviously lead.

boomer47's picture
I usually recognise JW's

I usually recognise JW's within 30 seconds.

I am never rude or unkind. I say; "no thank you" and close the door, firmly, without slamming.

I do not conduct business of any kind on my doorstep.

LogicFTW's picture


I do not conduct business of any kind on my doorstep.

Me neither. And this was not a random decision, to many times people come to my door to sell something or other. And too many times I am eithir not interested in their product, or I can find far better if I seek out the product/services myself then expecting people ringing doorbells have the best solution for me. Or they were flat out scams.

I mentioned this here before but: get a really obvious security camera on your front door it does not even have to be real/work. Soon as I had one installed, my doorbell rang way, WAY! less. And if it did ring they were at least usually legitimate. Plus the package delivery guys usually treated my packages with more respect, and if anyone was dumb enough to steal a package off my doorstep...

You can get a camera that is also a lightbulb, that goes in a outdoor light socket that connects to wifi for like 40 bucks these days. No wiring/batteries required. Just put up a sign pointing out that it is a camera.

boomer47's picture
I was ripped off too. By

I was ripped off too. By utility companies. A guy comes to the door and tells lies.The reality does not meet the promises.

Also have had people trying to sell me blinds, solar power, garden pruning, to name a few. I now now have a sticker at my front door saying"DO NOT KNOCK" with the (govt) Legal services Commission logo. The bastards still knock. At such times I may say unkind things.

PLUS sensor lights ,a proper security screen door , with one way vision---doors and windows have dead locks. Unfortunately, my Pit Bull died . Before him I had a German Shepherd. Made sure the whole area knew about my dogs. Today, I have a Jack Russell. He's loud and feisty and that's about it. I also have a walking stick I don't need to walk. It's made of steel.

Cognostic's picture
RE: JW on the streets. I

RE: JW on the streets. I am as crusty as Old man. I look them square in the face and tell them that I do not believe in magic or ancient fairy stories. I am going to add, "You should be ashamed of yourself for spreading lies." I don't know why it did not dawn on me to call them liars. Thank's Old Man... I think I was focused on the message and still trying to be nice to the person. Fuck the person. They are spreading lies.

CyberLN's picture
My mother, who was a terrible

My mother, who was a terrible parent but a fascinating person (and wickedly smart), would invite them in and have herself an entertaining time asking them leading questions and dropping thought-bombs. I used to get such a kick out of watching her and seeing them leave after an hour not quite sure what had just happened.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
After My Dad died when I was

After My Dad died when I was half a world away it took time for to extricate myself from contracts etc so I could go back to help my Mother sort out what was going on with their business etc. We had been estranged for quite a while (me being the black sheep and all) but family is family.
In the meantime she had been called upon by our local kindly JW's who were unsubtle in their approach, bringing children with them to "talk to her" and help. They were becoming more and more pushy and suggesting that Mother join them and maybe leave an inheritance (all of it) to their local Kingdom Hall. They were calling every day by the time I hit the shores of the UK (England) and spending at least half the day with my Mother, she just did not have the fortitude to utter the immortal invitation to "fuck off". All this was being reported to me by my sister in law (deceased brother) who had gotten remarried and was also estranged from the parents.

I turned up about 7am from a redeye flight, spoke to Mother, ascertained the fact that she did NOT want these fucking parasites calling on her, and what remained to be done re my Dad's estate.

About 10am the fuckers turned up, two kids about 7 and 10 with them. Ingratiating, fulsome, toothy smiles and oh so unctious. I invited them to sit, made the kids a drink and politely asked them what they thought they were doing to a recently bereaved widow...after about 20 minutes of conversation about their motives and beliefs, hands were clapped over children's' ears and I was pronounced the antichrist or similar..they departed without smiles or parting blessings.

Then over the days the senior handlers started to appear, if I answered the door or the phone they would turn away. I made sure I was carrying out my mother's wishes in turning them away and being progressively more rude until a very senior Elder and wife appeared and insisted that I allow them to talk with my Mother so they(!) could ascertain the truth of her wishes. I sat them down ( no offer of tea) and went to inform Mother of their demand. I was fuming at their arrogance.

She said, and in her rarely used Paisley Patois ( thick Scots) and at the top of her lungs " Tell yon balm pots to Fekk Aff, they're full o' shite. I'll no gi'em the contents of ma pisser never mind ma money" . When I reeled back to the room (in a semi shocked state, my mother NEVER swore) there was only a gently rustling from an abandoned leaflet....They never returned.

A side of my Mother I had never seen......

David Killens's picture
Religion can make good people

Religion can make good people do bad things. I was referring to your mother. And those scummy pimps and grifters.

Cognostic's picture
@Old man shouts ...: A

@Old man shouts ...: A right and proper send off for a bunch of scum sucking urchins trying to feed off the discomfort of others.

Fleeing in Terror's picture
Beware those Jack Russell

Beware those Jack Russell Terriors! They are miniature terrors and will take on anything. I've watched them try to take on Airedales and Great Danes.

Fleeing in Terror's picture
The next time young or

The next time young or underage children show up on your doorsteps with a JW, CALL THE POLICE AND CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES! The rates of pedophilia in the JW are the highest of all the religious groups. It may NOT be just their theology they are selling door to door!

I used to find them highly entertaining watching them flounder in religious debates.

LogicFTW's picture
@Mrs. Paul Owczarek

@Mrs. Paul Owczarek
Dang I almost wish I did not read that. I have not had any JW at my door in years, but I remember when they did ring my doorbell, always with a young kid or two around.

It sort of worked for them, instead of me just telling them rudely to get lost for interrupting my day, I would let the kids do their little spiel on the doorstep, and then, politely, but quickly, end the conversation and close the door.

Now I have to consider do I need to legitimately help this kids by calling CPS, I don't want to be that guy that potentially cause the distress to the children of an investigation especially considering it is still, (hopefully!) likely the kids are just fine.

Is it my business/duty do something like that or not?

Fleeing in Terror's picture
It depends on how bruised

It depends on how bruised/fearful the child is. Do they seem very comfortable with the adult? Exactly how is the interaction phrased?
Does the adult give the impression that rules don't apply to them? Does the child appear happy & well fed?

Keep your eyes and ears open.

LogicFTW's picture
Will look for that if I see

Will look for that if I see well, any child really. But especially door to door folks.

Sheldon's picture
I noticed years ago that

I noticed years ago that Mormons were using the same tactic. Also noticed women bring small children with them to spread the JW spiel. It's obvious the tactics are dual purposed, but who can forget that small child holding a banner for the Westboro Baptist Church, and being struck by a drink carton thrown form a moving car. Adults are culpable for placing children at risk IMHO, though Phelp's daughter simply used the attack to portray them and their beliefs as the victims.

All very sad and depressing I must say.

Cognostic's picture
@ Jehovah's Witnesses:

@ Jehovah's Witnesses: Maybe they are knocking on the door because they want to see my Ben Wa Balls on a cross? Why not invite them in for an e-prayer and put some porn on the telly?

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog Re: Ben Wa Balls on a

@Cog Re: Ben Wa Balls on a cross

Oh-good-grief! How crude! Did you just recently crawl out of a cave or out from under a rock? Geeeez, dude! That is SO yesterday! Catch up with the 21st Century already! You should have E-Ben Wa balls attached to a digitized LED cross that has five different display settings with variable speed/pulse control and a Bluetooth connection to allow for remote control and background music from your phone. Stop being such a Neanderthal already!

Sheldon's picture
Or...invite them in to see

Or...invite them in to see your shrine to Satan....the desolate one....the look some mother will give as she ushers her progeny away will be priceless, I guarantee it.

Tin-Man's picture
@Sheldon Re: "Or...invite

@Sheldon Re: "Or...invite them in to see your shrine to Satan...."

Funny you should say that. My wife happens to have an ancestral altar prominently displayed in the entryway of our front door. Complete with melted candles, crystal ball, various crystals/stones, a couple of different animal skulls, pagan goddess statue, a ceremonial knife, and other such whatnots. I even have my own gargoyle statue on a small stool in the corner across from the altar. It is quite an impressive sight, I must say... *chuckle*...

Oh, and coming up the steps onto the front porch, one will easily notice a "witch's ladder" made of chicken bones hanging on one side of the door, and a banner with "Namaste" and the Om symbol hanging on the other side. Then there is the large rainbow wreath hanging on the door itself. Oddly enough, we haven't been visited by any of the JW folks for quite some time... *scratching head in puzzlement*... And I'm a little disappointed about that, I must admit, because I would love to invite them in to see the altar. She keeps it nicely maintained and is very proud of it, and I enjoy showing it off to people... *grin*...

Edit to add: Oh! Forgot to mention our little zombie baby that sits on a table beside the front door.... *snicker*... Zombie babies: Not just for Halloween anymore. (Still can't figure out why we don't get any JW visitors anymore. Perplexing... *shrugging shoulders*...)


Attach Image/Video?: 

Cognostic's picture
@Tin-Man: Damn Tin, we

@Tin-Man: Damn Tin, we should pull an Edison, improve the design and resell it as our own invention. It worked for Edison, it worked for the Japanese, and it could work for us as well. I got a question though. I get all the vibrating stuff and speed control but what good would an LED screen do shoved into some dark orifice? Perhaps stereo speakers at each end of the cross bar and a blue tooth connection to your favorite play list?

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog Re: "...what good would

@Cog Re: "...what good would an LED screen do shoved into some dark orifice?"

No-no-no, banana brain! The LED display is on the CROSS, with only the balls having the vibration speed/pulse control... *looking over shoulder at everybody else*... *motioning toward Cog with thumb*... See what I have to put up with around here?.... *rolling eyes*... *turning back to Cog*... Pay attention, you flea-bitten varmint. The digitized LED cross allows you to customize your Jesus display and lighting colors to better enhance your E-Ben Wa experience. It ain't rocket surgery, you primative primate!

Cognostic's picture
@Tin: How you gonna adjust

@Tin: How you gonna adjust the screen when it is hanging out an orifice? You might be flexible enough to see the screen but the rest of us are human. Can you see the average human reaching around to speed up the vibration, unable to see the screen, and pressing the self cleaning spin cycle? Hell, it would tear them apart. The screen is no good if you can't see it. Well..... unless your lover is butt-ugly.

You could play a Jessa Rhodes video while you did your business.

coolaqua's picture
I think that respectful

I think that respectful conversations between believers and non-believers are so important. There have been Jehova Witnesses that have left the faith (though it is very hard for them). I would highly suggest trying out Anthony Magnabosco's Street Epistemology framework to make respectful conversation with them.

Today two girls from the Church of Latter Day Saints (Mormans) rang my doorbell. I thought it was the perfect time to try out the Street Epistemology method for the first time since they sort of volunteered themselves to talk about their beliefs (what a great opportunity!) I didn't have time to refresh SE, but I remember several of the talking points from the many YouTube videos I've seen of Anthony's on Street Epistemology.

I think we had a really respectful talk. I when off topic a little bit and learned a little bit about their beliefs at the beginning (since I was interested actually), and used this as a segway to start asking what evidence they had for holding these beliefs. I definitely need to work on an effective ending. It got cut off since dinner was ready, but I think it was an ok time.

Use this great opportunity to start a respectful conversation. The nice young girls may even leave thinking about some things you said. Respectful conversations between believers and non-believers is so necessary!

boomer47's picture


When I was in my early twenties, a mate had some interesting talks with some pretty young Mormon. . Those talks led to him getting laid. It was always two smiling young blokes who knocked on my door. They all looked like Donny Osmond and gave me the creeps.

I'm too old for that now, so I just politely close the door.

Sheldon's picture
cranky47 "When I was in my

cranky47 "When I was in my early twenties, a mate had some interesting talks with some pretty young Mormon. . Those talks led to him getting laid. It was always two smiling young blokes who knocked on my door. They all looked like Donny Osmond and gave me the creeps.

I'm too old for that now, so I just politely close the door."

When I was in my twenties two female Mormon missionaries called a few times, one was French the other Spanish. If either one had come across I might well have converted, albeit temporarily. I mean who wouldn't want to believe in a deity that gets you laid, I quite like that idea, and it's way better than the miserable old cunt monotheists have created, who keeps killing everyone on a whim, and stirring up shit with the Amalekites, what a twat that deity is.

Don't touch the fruit from the tree of knowledge under any circumstances, and just to be safe I will place it right here in your fucking garden, silly old cunt. Maybe that failure is why he insists his followers now remain as ignorant as possible, and shun knowledge as dangerous?

algebe's picture
Sheldon: silly old cunt.

Sheldon: silly old cunt.

That's truly offensive. You shouldn't call god a cunt. A cunt is a wonderful, beautiful source of life and joy, one of nature's most glorious artifacts, and something deserving of love and respect.

God is a worthless piece of imaginary bullshit made up by generations of insecure dickheads.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Algebe

@ Algebe

It is a term of endearment....

Sheldon's picture


Kudos, a good point, but as theists will tell you, words are not meant to be taken literally, that way you can make them mean whatever you want.

algebe's picture
@Sheldon: you can make them

@Sheldon: you can make them mean whatever you want.

True. That's really liberating. I can say the neighbor's dog left a steaming pile of Jehovah on my lawn, or some stupid Jesus cut me off on the expressway.

LOL. I just remembered the Dick Emery character Cupid Stunt.


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