Two JW's brightened my day today.

47 posts / 0 new
Last post
Tin-Man's picture
@Cog and Grin

@Cog and Grin

Hey.... Hey!... *pointing toward face*... My eyes are up HERE, gentlemen. Good grief. You two act as though you've never seen nuts and bolts before. Grow up already.... *turns and walks away with rhythmic jingle sound from crotch area*...

Grinseed's picture
Sorry Tin, of course I'm just

Sorry Tin, of course I'm just jealous - not of your nuts and bolt, or your Tinman-spreading - but because you had two JWs delivered to your door for dismantling.
You did splendidly! Sadly your name is certainly on that 'do not bother list' and you might never get another chance.

This happened to me 30 years ago when the JWs knocked on my door. The enthusiastic couple started off about the wide use of swear words as a sign of the degradation of mankind and I agreed wholeheartedly using a string of rich swear words. They were stunned and promptly departed, leaving me a copy of the Watchtower. I never saw them again, and never again did any evangelist darken my doorstep. I think I might have ended up on several 'do not bother' by word of mouth.

Tin-Man's picture
@Grin Re: "Sadly your name

@Grin Re: "Sadly your name is certainly on that 'do not bother list' and you might never get another chance."

...*groan*... That would be a bummer... *frownie face*... But I actually invited them back nicely. Even suggested they use the doorbell at the front door, and told them the best times to arrive. Surely they do not get that very often. How could they possibly resist the invitation? And it would certainly be a bonus if they brought along a "higher ranking" member with them... *snicker*...

David Killens's picture
This would be my response
Tin-Man's picture
@David Re: Vid link

@David Re: Vid link

...lol... Having grown up living in and around many different trailer parks, I've actually known a few guys like that. And based on my experience, it is usually best not to piss them off... lol...

What really amused me the most about my two JW visitors is how completely unprepared they were. They arrived with their tidy little prepared and rehearsed script which I allowed "Jane" to present without interruption. Then she asked a question that I suppose was meant to be deeply thoughtful and "mind blowing". Alas, it was not. And when my response did not match any of their "script options", their neat little plan got woefully derailed. So the train was off the tracks, but not completely stopped, and they attempted to maintain some amount of control. Then they made the fatal error of mentioning Genesis and Adam/Eve.... *sadly shaking head*... Over the cliff the train did go, yet they both managed to bail out at the last second before final impact. Now I am wodering how long they will have to recover from their bumps and scrapes before being well enough to return. Hope they at least wear a helmet and some protective padding if they do decide to return. Almost felt bad like I was kicking puppies.... *chuckle*...

LogicFTW's picture
I have not had a chance to do

I have not had a chance to do this to door to door religious nuts, but I have successfully done this for family with some success:

I personally avoid talking religion or politics with family. But if they insist on bringing them up, I ask for a few rules of fairness:

1. We each get up to 5 minutes to discuss our views, uninterrupted. For up to 3 rounds. (30 minute conversation total.)
2. Each time the listener interrupts the other person, 1 minute is added to the speaker, and 1 minute taken away from the listeners next turn to speak.
3. Being the generous person I am, I will give you a mulligan on your first interruption, and won't penalize.
4. As I suggested the rules, I will listen first.

I have done the above to 4 different family members so far. All 4 emphatically agreed to the rules and agreed they sounded very fair.

3 out of the 4, the family member never made it past the first round. They would interrupt multiple times on my time to speak, and my minutes to speak balloons to 10 minutes or more where the person loses out on speaking at all on the 2nd round, This is the point where they state they do not want to discuss it anymore.

1 of them refused to follow the rules the generous rules they agreed to moments before. (I got to speak for about 30 seconds,) before they completely took over the conversation ignoring all rules we agreed to. I point out he cant keep to rules for even 1 minute after they agreed to them, and he agreed that he was getting upset and should stop.

I had one that made it to the 2nd round, (no interruptions!) where about 2 minutes in, on my turn to speak, she then burst into tears and left the room. I gave her a few minutes, found her, and told her that she is not required to listen to what I have to say, but it is only fair if she is not willing to listen to what I have to say, that it is not fair that I should listen to what she has to say. A truce that holds to this day. We do not particularly care for each other, but family functions still go smoothly which is all I really want.

Tin-Man's picture
@Logic

@Logic

Nice! I like those rules, and they are indeed quite fair. Fortunately for me (or unfortunately, depending on your view), the only person on my side of the family with whom I regularly interact is my Uncle. And though he may mention God/Jesus/bible now and then, I make it a point to simply remain neutral and let him believe what he wants. I do have a very religious cousin who has a teenage daughter who thinks all the religious stuff is ridiculous. But after pointing out a few things to her a couple of times, my cousin now totally avoids asking me anything else about her chosen faith... *chuckle*... Otherwise, no other family on my side who associates much with me and my wife.

On my wife's side, it is basically just her son, daughter, and brother. Fortunately, the son and daughter literally laugh at the thought of religion. Oddly enough, my brother-in-law still somewhat maintains a slim hold on his Christian upbringing, even though he is gay. We get to see him only two or three times a year for major holiday gatherings, though. Even so, I have to admit it is kinda fun watching him squirm a little when the rest of us are cracking jokes about the bible and associated matters therein... *chuckle*... Thing is, he is amazingly intelligent in many areas (a PhD and a couple of other degrees), but he can often be very naive in matters of reality and common sense. Still, can't help but like the guy. He has a mild arrogance about him that cracks me up, and his sharp wit can be quite hilarious sometimes. Overall, I get along great with my wife's side of the family.

Cognostic's picture
@LOGIC: You said:

@LOGIC: You said: "Religious Nuts" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .... Pope Balls!

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog

@Cog

Deacon Danglers... Bishop Bullocks.... Jesus Huevos... Christian Cajones... Theist Teabag... Protestant Peas in a Pod...

Cognostic's picture
Tin: Some other common

Tin: Some other common Catholic euphemisms; The Holey Communion Stick, The Holey Wafer Chaser, The Fertile Ferule, The Papal Mass (Sometimes referred to as a White Mass), The Holey Lance, and if the Pope uses protection; The Seamless Robe of O-Christ. The Holey Robe, Holey Rubber Tunic, The Holey Coat of Thieves, and Holy Coat of Tears.

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog

@Cog

Disciple's Divine Dong..... Sacred Shaft of the Saints... The Blessed Bob-Knob... Pontius Pilate's Precious Pipe of Plenty... Adam's Sinful Serpent... Goliath's Glorious Gobstopper... Flaccid Phalanx of the Pharaoh... Job's Junk... Saint Peter's Puffable Peter... Damascus Ass Angler...

Edit to add: Lot's Libatious Lizard... One-eyed Miracle Spitter...

Tin-Man's picture
Jacob's Coating of Many

Jacob's Coating of Many Colors (No antibiotics back then).... Wise Men Wigglers... Shepherd Schlong... Semen on the Mount... The Ten Condom Mints... Allah's Ack-Bar... Mohammad's Milkshake Maker... The Torah Twizzler... The Little Hummer Boy... Communion Child Choker... *cringing*.... (Okay, I think I'll stop at that one.)

Tin-Man's picture
.... *frownie face*... Well..

.... *frownie face*... Well.... Dang.... Almost three weeks now, and still no sign of the two wonderful JW's who did so much to bring such joy to my life. Despite their stated intentions to return so that we could continue our most entertaining discussion, the long winding driveway leading to my house has been sadly devoid of their presence since their hurried departure on the day of our first encounter. Each and every day I have eagerly and anxiously awaited the two-toned melody of our doorbell indicating their arrival. But as the sky has darkened with the setting sun at the end of each day, I have faced the deep emptiness of disappointment with one more thread of hope being snipped away like a brown leaf on a dying tree.... *defeated sigh*... They said they would come back. They said they were eager to continue our talks. Now, what am I to think?... *wailing voice*... I'm not worthy!!!... *tears pooling in eyes*...

David Killens's picture
And the forsaken one laments.

And the forsaken one laments.

Jeremiah 2:13

"For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, The fountain of living waters, To hew for themselves cisterns, Broken cisterns That can hold no water.

he he

Tin-Man's picture
@David K. Re: "Broken

@David K. Re: "Broken cisterns That can hold no water."

Okay, well, in all fairness, I do have to admit I AM a bit leaky at times.

David Killens's picture
@ Tin-Man

@ Tin-Man

Doesn't that Depend on the situation?

Pages

Donating = Loving

Heart Icon

Bringing you atheist articles and building active godless communities takes hundreds of hours and resources each month. If you find any joy or stimulation at Atheist Republic, please consider becoming a Supporting Member with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good dinner.

Or make a one-time donation in any amount.