Two JW's brightened my day today.

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Cognostic's picture
@Grinseed: "Shhhhhhhhh!!!

@Grinseed: "Shhhhhhhhh!!! *Whisper* If we gave him a belt he might get a clue.

Grinseed's picture
Well...yeah...ok...I always

Well...yeah...ok...I always find it a little awkward you know? Him walking around, all out sort of thing...never know where to look...and the moderators don't mind?
Its why I find feathers so convenient...Give him a belt for fuck sake folks..shhh...

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog and Grin

@Cog and Grin

Hey.... Hey!... *pointing toward face*... My eyes are up HERE, gentlemen. Good grief. You two act as though you've never seen nuts and bolts before. Grow up already.... *turns and walks away with rhythmic jingle sound from crotch area*...

Grinseed's picture
Sorry Tin, of course I'm just

Sorry Tin, of course I'm just jealous - not of your nuts and bolt, or your Tinman-spreading - but because you had two JWs delivered to your door for dismantling.
You did splendidly! Sadly your name is certainly on that 'do not bother list' and you might never get another chance.

This happened to me 30 years ago when the JWs knocked on my door. The enthusiastic couple started off about the wide use of swear words as a sign of the degradation of mankind and I agreed wholeheartedly using a string of rich swear words. They were stunned and promptly departed, leaving me a copy of the Watchtower. I never saw them again, and never again did any evangelist darken my doorstep. I think I might have ended up on several 'do not bother' by word of mouth.

Tin-Man's picture
@Grin Re: "Sadly your name

@Grin Re: "Sadly your name is certainly on that 'do not bother list' and you might never get another chance."

...*groan*... That would be a bummer... *frownie face*... But I actually invited them back nicely. Even suggested they use the doorbell at the front door, and told them the best times to arrive. Surely they do not get that very often. How could they possibly resist the invitation? And it would certainly be a bonus if they brought along a "higher ranking" member with them... *snicker*...

David Killens's picture
This would be my response
Tin-Man's picture
@David Re: Vid link

@David Re: Vid link

...lol... Having grown up living in and around many different trailer parks, I've actually known a few guys like that. And based on my experience, it is usually best not to piss them off... lol...

What really amused me the most about my two JW visitors is how completely unprepared they were. They arrived with their tidy little prepared and rehearsed script which I allowed "Jane" to present without interruption. Then she asked a question that I suppose was meant to be deeply thoughtful and "mind blowing". Alas, it was not. And when my response did not match any of their "script options", their neat little plan got woefully derailed. So the train was off the tracks, but not completely stopped, and they attempted to maintain some amount of control. Then they made the fatal error of mentioning Genesis and Adam/Eve.... *sadly shaking head*... Over the cliff the train did go, yet they both managed to bail out at the last second before final impact. Now I am wodering how long they will have to recover from their bumps and scrapes before being well enough to return. Hope they at least wear a helmet and some protective padding if they do decide to return. Almost felt bad like I was kicking puppies.... *chuckle*...

LogicFTW's picture
I have not had a chance to do

I have not had a chance to do this to door to door religious nuts, but I have successfully done this for family with some success:

I personally avoid talking religion or politics with family. But if they insist on bringing them up, I ask for a few rules of fairness:

1. We each get up to 5 minutes to discuss our views, uninterrupted. For up to 3 rounds. (30 minute conversation total.)
2. Each time the listener interrupts the other person, 1 minute is added to the speaker, and 1 minute taken away from the listeners next turn to speak.
3. Being the generous person I am, I will give you a mulligan on your first interruption, and won't penalize.
4. As I suggested the rules, I will listen first.

I have done the above to 4 different family members so far. All 4 emphatically agreed to the rules and agreed they sounded very fair.

3 out of the 4, the family member never made it past the first round. They would interrupt multiple times on my time to speak, and my minutes to speak balloons to 10 minutes or more where the person loses out on speaking at all on the 2nd round, This is the point where they state they do not want to discuss it anymore.

1 of them refused to follow the rules the generous rules they agreed to moments before. (I got to speak for about 30 seconds,) before they completely took over the conversation ignoring all rules we agreed to. I point out he cant keep to rules for even 1 minute after they agreed to them, and he agreed that he was getting upset and should stop.

I had one that made it to the 2nd round, (no interruptions!) where about 2 minutes in, on my turn to speak, she then burst into tears and left the room. I gave her a few minutes, found her, and told her that she is not required to listen to what I have to say, but it is only fair if she is not willing to listen to what I have to say, that it is not fair that I should listen to what she has to say. A truce that holds to this day. We do not particularly care for each other, but family functions still go smoothly which is all I really want.

Tin-Man's picture
@Logic

@Logic

Nice! I like those rules, and they are indeed quite fair. Fortunately for me (or unfortunately, depending on your view), the only person on my side of the family with whom I regularly interact is my Uncle. And though he may mention God/Jesus/bible now and then, I make it a point to simply remain neutral and let him believe what he wants. I do have a very religious cousin who has a teenage daughter who thinks all the religious stuff is ridiculous. But after pointing out a few things to her a couple of times, my cousin now totally avoids asking me anything else about her chosen faith... *chuckle*... Otherwise, no other family on my side who associates much with me and my wife.

On my wife's side, it is basically just her son, daughter, and brother. Fortunately, the son and daughter literally laugh at the thought of religion. Oddly enough, my brother-in-law still somewhat maintains a slim hold on his Christian upbringing, even though he is gay. We get to see him only two or three times a year for major holiday gatherings, though. Even so, I have to admit it is kinda fun watching him squirm a little when the rest of us are cracking jokes about the bible and associated matters therein... *chuckle*... Thing is, he is amazingly intelligent in many areas (a PhD and a couple of other degrees), but he can often be very naive in matters of reality and common sense. Still, can't help but like the guy. He has a mild arrogance about him that cracks me up, and his sharp wit can be quite hilarious sometimes. Overall, I get along great with my wife's side of the family.

Cognostic's picture
@LOGIC: You said:

@LOGIC: You said: "Religious Nuts" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .... Pope Balls!

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog

@Cog

Deacon Danglers... Bishop Bullocks.... Jesus Huevos... Christian Cajones... Theist Teabag... Protestant Peas in a Pod...

Cognostic's picture
Tin: Some other common

Tin: Some other common Catholic euphemisms; The Holey Communion Stick, The Holey Wafer Chaser, The Fertile Ferule, The Papal Mass (Sometimes referred to as a White Mass), The Holey Lance, and if the Pope uses protection; The Seamless Robe of O-Christ. The Holey Robe, Holey Rubber Tunic, The Holey Coat of Thieves, and Holy Coat of Tears.

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog

@Cog

Disciple's Divine Dong..... Sacred Shaft of the Saints... The Blessed Bob-Knob... Pontius Pilate's Precious Pipe of Plenty... Adam's Sinful Serpent... Goliath's Glorious Gobstopper... Flaccid Phalanx of the Pharaoh... Job's Junk... Saint Peter's Puffable Peter... Damascus Ass Angler...

Edit to add: Lot's Libatious Lizard... One-eyed Miracle Spitter...

Tin-Man's picture
Jacob's Coating of Many

Jacob's Coating of Many Colors (No antibiotics back then).... Wise Men Wigglers... Shepherd Schlong... Semen on the Mount... The Ten Condom Mints... Allah's Ack-Bar... Mohammad's Milkshake Maker... The Torah Twizzler... The Little Hummer Boy... Communion Child Choker... *cringing*.... (Okay, I think I'll stop at that one.)

Tin-Man's picture
.... *frownie face*... Well..

.... *frownie face*... Well.... Dang.... Almost three weeks now, and still no sign of the two wonderful JW's who did so much to bring such joy to my life. Despite their stated intentions to return so that we could continue our most entertaining discussion, the long winding driveway leading to my house has been sadly devoid of their presence since their hurried departure on the day of our first encounter. Each and every day I have eagerly and anxiously awaited the two-toned melody of our doorbell indicating their arrival. But as the sky has darkened with the setting sun at the end of each day, I have faced the deep emptiness of disappointment with one more thread of hope being snipped away like a brown leaf on a dying tree.... *defeated sigh*... They said they would come back. They said they were eager to continue our talks. Now, what am I to think?... *wailing voice*... I'm not worthy!!!... *tears pooling in eyes*...

David Killens's picture
And the forsaken one laments.

And the forsaken one laments.

Jeremiah 2:13

"For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, The fountain of living waters, To hew for themselves cisterns, Broken cisterns That can hold no water.

he he

Tin-Man's picture
@David K. Re: "Broken

@David K. Re: "Broken cisterns That can hold no water."

Okay, well, in all fairness, I do have to admit I AM a bit leaky at times.

David Killens's picture
@ Tin-Man

@ Tin-Man

Doesn't that Depend on the situation?

Tin-Man's picture
LMAO... Good one, Dave....

LMAO... Good one, Dave.... *thumbs up*...

Latest JW update: OMG!!!... *clapping excitedly*... I actually got a callback today from the local Kingdom Hall! Yay! Miracles DO happen. And we have set a time for them to come visit this Wednesday. Fun-fun-fun!... *beaming smile*...

LogicFTW's picture
Fortunately for you if they

Fortunately for you if they bring pitch forks and torches you will be just fine. But if they bring "holy" water.. well really just any water. I would advise you do no open the door.

Just looking out for ya Tin-man.

Tin-Man's picture
@Logic Re: "But if they

@Logic Re: "But if they bring "holy" water.. well really just any water. I would advise you do no open the door."

No worries. I plan on covering myself in baby oil before they get here... *grin*... I have to admit, though, opening the door for them may be a bitch.

Whitefire13's picture
Omg tin man! I’m soooo

Omg tin man! I’m soooo excited for you! It was folks like you that got me thinking in private.... thanks to all the tinners out there that shook my faith with reason. Used their own grease can to get my rusty brain working again! My doe eyes shook a few times while my brain scrambled for some answer to questions posed by folks like you.

Tin-Man's picture
@Whitefire Re: "It was folks

@Whitefire Re: "It was folks like you that got me thinking in private.... thanks to all the tinners out there that shook my faith with reason. "

... *chuckle*... Hmmm... interesting you should say that. After I got the call from them this morning, my wife looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked, "You had them call you??? Why??? Have you gone crazy or something?" Naturally, I couldn't help but laugh, because I knew exactly what she meant. Most people try to avoid those folks like the plague. And I KNOW I spent a vast majority of MY life doing everything I could to avoid religious discussions as much as possible. So, quite honestly, I really did not have a good answer for her at first. The best I could come up with at that moment was basically, "Well, I find it entertaining." Of course, she just rolled her eyes and went to finish getting ready for work. But that got me to thinking, "Ya know.... why AM I looking forward to having the JW's here again?" Turns out, after much contemplation, there are a couple of main reasons for my wanting to have a face-to-face sit-down with a couple of JW's here in my home.

One, it IS a form of entertainment for me. I spent twenty years on the streets interviewing/interrogating all forms of suspects/witnesses/victims in various conditions and situations. During that time, I gradually developed a method that usually worked quite well in getting the information I needed. And, fact is, I really enjoyed it most of the time. Ever since my retirement, though, I have obviously not had much need nor opportunity to use those skills. Talking with those two individuals a few weeks ago made me realize how much I miss those types of interactions. In very simplistic terms, for me it is just plain fun... *grin*... Two, though, is a bit more subtle and took me a few minutes to realize it. Thing is, I have zero expectations of changing the minds of anybody who happens to show up for the meeting. Nor will I make any "intentional" efforts to do so. My plan is to simply ask questions that make them think, listen to their responses, and then ask follow-up questions while inserting my personal views in regards to their answers. And, truth be told, I sincerely want to know WHY they choose to believe the way they do. Regardless of that, though, I realize there IS a part of me that hopes to put even just a tiny sliver of doubt into their minds that might start making them question it all as a whole. Granted, I may never know one way or the other, but if the discussion we have is somehow responsible in any small way for either party being able to escape that religious stranglehold, then that would be something worth investing a couple of hours of my day to make happen. Thank you for your encouragement... *grin*...

David Killens's picture
I try to plant a seed of

I try to plant a seed of doubt in the minds of theists who wish to engage me.

But for you Tin-Man, it appears your play is like a kitten with a ball of yarn.

Tin-Man's picture
@David K. Re: "But for you

@David K. Re: "But for you Tin-Man, it appears your play is like a kitten with a ball of yarn."

...*chuckle*... Hey, might as well have some fun in the process, right? Except I'm not allowed to have yarn anymore after that near-tragic ceiling fan incident... *frownie face*... In my defense, however, I had no idea that yarn had such a high tensile strength... *hanging head in shame*...

Whitefire13's picture
....today’s Wednesday.... I

....today’s Wednesday.... I’m sooooo excited! Clapping hands in anticipation.

Tin-Man's picture
@Whitefire

@Whitefire

Yep, today is the day... *grin*... Looking forward to their arrival. Thanks for your input, by the way. I've been contemplating on it, and I'll keep it in mind during the meeting. So many things I want to discuss with them, though, it's gonna be tough staying focused on just a couple of topics... *chuckle*... Guess we'll see how it goes.

Whitefire13's picture
Don’t mention a bread pan

Don’t mention a bread pan loaf... lol. Their literature left for you gives you more than enough ammo... evil giggle

Tin-Man's picture
@Whitefire Re: Bread pan

@Whitefire Re: Bread pan loaf

Yeah, that one I will avoid. To be honest, I had not heard that one before and had to look it up... *chuckle*... But, like you said, I have more than enough just from their book alone... *impish grin*...

Tin-Man's picture
Latest update...

Latest update...

Hey, my apologies for the delay. Been rather crazy around here a bit. Got a new puppy from the Humane Society over the weekend, causing my usual daily routines to be highly disrupted. Worth it, though, because she is a little sweetie. Shepherd-Terrier mix, roughly six months old. Trying to pottie-train her has been almost a full-time job, but she has caught on quickly in just the last two days. Wife named her Pagan, and so far she is adjusting quite nicely to the household. Anyway, back to the JW's...

Yep, they actually showed up yesterday. Even got here about twenty minutes early. We sat in the living room and talked for nearly three hours. As far as I'm concerned, it went quite well... (for ME.) Not sure I can say the same for them, though... *chuckle*...

Two guys this time. "John" from the original visit, and a much younger guy I'll refer to as "Tom". As with the last visit, John seemed content to allow his partner to take the lead. Fine by me. Fresh meat, as far as I'm concerned. And Tom, at least, seemed to be just a bit more "on the ball" than both John and Jane combined. Still, that's not really saying too much, sadly. Although, in all fairness, Tom did start out in a more confident manner, and he did seem better educated and easier to engage. All in all, I have to give him credit for putting forth a valient effort, but the end result was same as before. Namely, "Wow, you brought up some very interesting points. If you don't mind, we would like to go research some of these and then get back with you later." Naturally, I wholeheartedly welcomed another visit. And I will definitely be calling for them to return just as soon as things level off a bit around here.... *grin*...

All that being said, I will gradually be posting more details of the meeting as time permits. Overall, though, I had a blast, despite the fact I curbed my natural sarcastic-asshole disposition. (Okay, okay... I know I am not a NATURAL sarcastic asshole. I had to work very hard over the years to achieve that title. But I've been doing it so long that it just feels natural now.)

Oh, by the way, is anybody else aware that there are different "levels" of "Perfect"? I can tell ya it was definitely news to me. Who knew?... *shrugging shoulders*... More on that later, though.

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