The universe

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Pirate Jack's picture
Does god have parents? Who

Does god have parents? Who created god? Does god have a wife?

Diotrephes's picture
Pirate Jack,

delete

Cognostic's picture
Ashreah was his original wife

Ashreah was his original wife, well.... significant other. As the Jews moved from Henotheism to Monotheism, all the ashrams were destroyed and Asherah herself went the way of all the other gods. She was destroyed and separated from the one true god. Poor Asherah,

arakish's picture
@ AJ777 (quoting Pirate Jack)

@ AJ777 (quoting Pirate Jack)

Does god have parents?

Of course. Everybody does.

Who created god?

If you need another lesson in "Birds Do It! Bees Do It, Too!" ... Mr. Gibucby screwed Mrs. Gibucby, sometime later when she thought she was suffering gas, POOF!, there it is, a god.

Does god have a wife?

Nope. Sorry. That is where god screwed up in his imagination. You see, after Mr. and Mrs. Gibucby created the universe for god to play in, all he created was The Father, The Son, The Spook, and all those male angels, before he created male and female humans. Then he realized the mistake he made in not giving some of the angels two holes...

rmfr

Cognostic's picture
@AJ777 We all hate to see

@AJ777 We all hate to see you floundering in ignorance around here. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. We have sent a note home to your parents asking them to reduce your medication in the hopes it will help you concentrate. Attached, please find your homework assignment for this week. The semester is coming to a close and it would be a shame if you were not able to move forward into the new year with the rest of your class. I have attempted to make the assignment as simple as possible. Just read the questions and fill in the boxes. You are a good boy no matter what the rest of the students say. Now, don't forget your helmet and have a safe ride home. Remember, your bus is the little one!

Attachments

Attach Image/Video?: 

Yes
Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Cog

@ Cog

Oh, you double died poo flinging bastard. I was just sat down when I read that. I nearly choked on my own tonsils I was cough-laughing so much.
I don't think my Battlebull chair will last much longer if I keep on this kind of punishment.

Anyway, loved it , stole it...thank you. *still choking with laughter*

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog Re: Homework for AJ

@Cog Re: Homework for AJ

Hey, five dollars says AJ eats all of his crayons before being able to complete the assignment.

Cognostic's picture
@Tin-Man Not to worry...

@Tin-Man Not to worry... he'll have no room for the crayons as long as there are still paint chips on the wall. Remember, you have to have the intelligence to sit at the kitchen table to use crayons. (You own me five dollars.)

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog Re: "(You own me five

@Cog Re: "(You own me five dollars.)"

Nope. Nuh-uh. No-sirree... Because I have FAITH. And no matter how many facts or how much logic you throw at me will ever change my faith that I am right and you are wrong. So THERE.... *sticking out tongue*...

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ TM

@ TM

hey hey...I had Faith! She was at a gig I played back in Cardiff By The Sea in Ca...in the 70's. Lovely girl. Sadly I lost her...hey you..wait a minute!!!!!!

What do you mean 'change your faith'? Not my Faith you don't , if you don't want her pass her back ...you bastard.

Tin-Man's picture
@Old Man Re: Faith

@Old Man Re: Faith

You said in the 70's?... Hmmm... Well, I suppose she COULD HAVE BEEN my baby sitter for a period of time during the first part of that decade... *chuckle*...

arakish's picture
Cognostic: "A mind is a

Cognostic: "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

You sure it wasn't already done the first time he had gas and belched? Or, is it the other way around?

rmfr

Sheldon's picture
I am going to borrow that,

I am going to borrow that, brilliant.

rat spit's picture
@AJ777

@AJ777

Now. Erm. If you look at the small heat variations from WMAP’s measurements of the cosmic background radiation and you, erm, scale it back by Pi times the average rate of expansion of space - it’s quite clear that the universe exists due to God’s ejaculate spreading from the singularity.

Now, we do indeed have answers to the paradox - what happens when an immovable object (God’s penis) meets an unstoppable force (God’s wrist).

And also audio tracking from WMAP still gives off an audible echo of God having a cosmic orgasm. Sounds like “Ohm ‘y God, yeah!”

So, from an Atheist viewpoint this is easily the most scientifically verified account of how God climaxed all over space-time - giving “birth”, as it were, to the Cosmos. A process known as “cosmosis”.

Tin-Man's picture
@Rat Spit Re: "A process

@Rat Spit Re: "A process known as “cosmosis”."

Really? I always thought it was called "cosmejaculation". Dang... Guess I was reading the wrong text book... Or, then again, maybe it was that sci-fi issue of Playboy Magazine I had hidden behind my text book during third period History class. Hmmm... Yeah, honest mistake.

doG's picture
Right...The Big Wang Theory.

Right...The Big Wang Theory.

rat spit's picture
Was that the issue with pics

Was that the issue with pics of Raquel Welch from the X rated version of “Fantastic Voyage: a sticky situation”? That’s vintage! May have been the issue God was reading when he splooged the Universe into Existence. What is God’s sexual fantasy, anyway? Jewress virgins named “Mary”?

Tin-Man's picture
@Rat Spit Re; "Was that the

@Rat Spit Re; "Was that the issue with pics of Raquel Welch from the X rated version of “Fantastic Voyage: a sticky situation”?"

Nah. I missed that one, sadly. The one I had was with Kate Jackson playing Princess Lea in "Star Whores Episode IV: A New Grope".

rat spit's picture
She was also good in “Star

She was also good in “Star Whores VI: Return of the Cream-Pie”

But back to topic. Tell me AJ777? Could the universe have created God? In my theology - God is nothing but an evolved being in the Universe. How? Under what circumstances would this be possible?

Sheldon's picture
Ratspit "In my theology - God

Ratspit "In my theology - God is nothing but an evolved being in the Universe. "

So much for the ridiculous claim you're not a theist, and the equally dishonest claim you never refer to your deity as god.

rat spit's picture
@Sheldon

@Sheldon

He doesn’t fit the criteria of “God”. He fits the criteria of a Supreme Being who has reached the highest point possible that a Being can reach in its evolution - in ter You know what? You’re just looking for a reaction. I forgot how little I enjoy talking to you. Good bye.

Sheldon's picture
You need to look up the

You need to look up the phrase supreme being then, as it's primary definition is a "name for god". You have also denied ever referring to your deity as god, and this has been exposed as a lie, a lie which you refuse to even acknowledge despite my quote and link to two posts by you referring to your deity as god. Again I don't care what you enjoy, this is a public debate forum, if you don't want to read or respond to my posts then don't. I will however respond to any posts I am minded to, and you will just have to suck it up.

If you don't want to be referred to as a theist then don't keep claiming to believe in a deity, god or supreme being. I hate dishonest semantics, and like many of the other theists on here you indulge in this relentlessly to prop up your unevidenced superstitious belief, and I will respond to those claims every time, this is an atheist orientated debate forum after all.

rat spit's picture
Re: Star Whores Episode IV

Re: Star Whores Episode IV

Some good articles in that one. I buy them mainly for the articles. I wish mom hadn’t have thrown that one out.

On a related note:

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/culture/2019/apr/15/man-...

Sheldon's picture
Argumentum ad ignorantiam

Argumentum ad ignorantiam fallacy.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_ignorance

Do natural phenomena exist?

Does the universe exist?

Can you demonstrate any objective evidence for a cause of anything that is not entirely natural?

How many time must theists trot out this tired old canard of religious apologetics, before they have the integrity to admit its fallacious?

rat spit's picture
The word you’re looking for

The word you’re looking for is “fellatious”, Sheldon. “Fellatious”.

Sheldon's picture
@ ratspit

@ ratspit

"The word you’re looking for is “fellatious”, Sheldon."

Not at all, and I generally avoid urban slang, as I find it makes the user appear cringeworthy. Especially beyond their teens.

I am assuming this is anther of your bizarre jokes, and that can actually spell or at least look up the word fallacious.

rat spit's picture
@Sheldon

@Sheldon

“Fellatio” - ie. oral sex.

I’m a little surprised you’ve never heard of it.

“Fellatious” - pertaining to oral sex. A made up word I use for fallacious.

Cognostic's picture
I have a world view.

I have a world view. "Talking with idiots is useless."

Sheldon's picture
Cognostic "I have a world

Cognostic "I have a world view. "Talking with idiots is useless.""

It's a useful behaviour to identify, and try to avoid though.

LostLocke's picture
Or better yet, how does

Or better yet, how does theism account for the creation of the universe?
Jehovah created it, right? But what did he create it *from*? You guys are always hammering the idea that something can't come from nothing, so what is the "stuff" Jehovah made the universe from? And was it always there, or did he create that too?

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