My funniest religious experience happened in Japan on New Year's Eve 1972. Some Japanese friends took me to a big Shinto shrine in Tokyo to see in the New Year at midnight. The Japanese aren't very religious in general, but they love ritual and ceremony, and New Year is the biggest and the best.
When we arrived at the plaza in front of the shrine, there was a large canvas enclosure. Inside were a team of priests wearing all kinds of protective gear, including baseball catcher's masks. There were tens of thousands of people all around the shrine plaza, a lot of them obviously quite drunk. Then on the stroke of midnight someone in the shrine struck a huge brass bell. At that moment, people started hurling money into the pool creating a continual torrential downpour of silver and brass coins. The priests rushed around shovelling it into bags to make room for more. The noise was amazing.
My Japanese friend then turned to me and said, "You know, our priests say that paper money falling makes a louder noise in heaven than coins."
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Was cleaning Zanzibar's tank so my sweet little python was chilling out around my neck. Knock at the door. There stood two JWs who saw him, dropped those Watchtowers on the porch and departed my stoop as fast as they could.
Perhaps when the Army refused to put "atheist" on my ID tags (dog tags). So I told them "Esoteric Order of Dagon" and they put it on them!
In 2008 I visited the Taj Mahal in India. I joined a small group that was guided through the grounds by a muslim guide. He explained that Islamic men are buried 7 feet deep and the Islamic women are buried 6 feet deep. Someone in the group asked why the men were buried deeper, and a lady in the group loudly said, "so they'll be closer to hell." I could not contain myself!
I can’t claim this, but it was told to me by a minister (named Al.)
Al went to Israel a few years ago, to visit the holy sites. One stop was the stream where David picked up the stone and slew Goliath. They read the bible verses, discussed the event and considered its historical implications. When they were done, their guide invited them to pick up a smooth stone or two from the stream as a memento.
Aghast, Al said, “But if we do that and all the other visitors do that, soon there will be no more stones!”
“That’s OK,” reassured the guide, “every two weeks they bring in another truck load.”
In high school I was having a discussion over Noahs ark with a Christian friend, and I asked her if she honestly thought that is was possible that Noah put two of every single animal on the boat. She looked at me with the most serious expression I have ever seen and said,"Yes. Noah put two of every animal on the ark. Even the fish."
@Audrey: "Even the fish."
I wonder if that includes shellfish and sharks. Shellfish and fish without scales are not kosher. So why would they be on the Ark? And why did Noah save pigs?
@Audrey: "Even the fish."
I wonder if that includes shellfish and sharks. Shellfish and fish without scales are not kosher. So why would they be on the Ark? And why did Noah save pigs?
"Even the fish"! Hilarious!
"Even the fish" - It's like a textbook example of willfull ignorace.