Hi, I'm new here, a 63 year old woman who has always lived in the same southeastern US state, where there is a LOT of religion.
I became atheist when I was about 13 years old and realized that the religion I had been brought up in and believed in didn't make any sense when I looked at the world around me and how my life was going. I stayed atheist until I was about 50 and started wondering if I was missing something and started attending church at various places. I had hit a very rough patch in my life and I wanted something to believe in. I tried hard, and several times I thought maybe God was talking to me. So I became as religious as I could be. It slowly faded away, though. That world again, with both beauty and ugliness, and the fact that I had an anxiety attack while performing altar guild duties in a church sanctuary. No more incidents of God maybe taking to me either.
This past November, I moved to a mid-sized city a little farther south in the same state. This is the most religious place I have ever lived. I hear several references to God and the Bible every day, in such diverse and unchurchly places as the locker room at the pool I swim in, a grocery store checkout line, and a game session at a community center. It's on the local TV news too. I've gotten involved in social groups and I get asked what church I go to. In fact, I did attend a church for a while here (which is my answer when I'm asked what church I go to); I'd like to fit in with the local culture. But when I realized I wasn't willing to give any significant amount of money to the church, whereas I used to be able to before that anxiety attack, I realized I had to face what I was and am--an atheist.
There's a local freethought group, and I attended one of the meetings, but can't go to most of them because they're at night and my vision isn't up to night driving any more. Maybe I'll take a cab if necessary to be able to be with people who don't believe they have a close relationship with an invisible being!
Anybody else in this situation?
Anna
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Hi Anna. Welcome to AR. Pull up a stool and jump in! We can be a community’s for you.
I ditto what Cyber texted. I even offer you bars of chocolate, when you need it.
I'm new, too; a week.
Must be in North Carolina. I lived there long enough to know that the religious in that state have so much political and legal power, no one can bring to light all of the abuse by the Religious Absolutists there over the last 60 years. If anyone tries, they have enough power to make it completely disappear. Utterly.
About the only places where you can get away from that crap is in the larger cities. Even then at least half are still Religious Absolutists.
Then again, you could be in Mississippi or Alabama. Those two states are quite thick with the Religious Absolutists.
Welcome to our corner of reality. We are all here to help and support. If you ever need to just blow off some steam, let go girl.
rmfr
@ Anna …..
Greetings and welcome …..
I empathize over the night vision thing ….. Personally I'm blaming the new L.E.D. headlights ……
Thank you all. It's very nice to be welcomed as what you really are.
As for the chocolate, Magnificent Beast, please don't send it yet; last I checked it was 94 degrees F outside (not inside, thank Air Conditioning.) Arakish, I'm reluctant to reveal which state until I have a couple of atheist friends locally, not that you actually asked. And watchman, about the night driving, I'm hoping for a driverless car in a few years; are you? Cabs might be cheaper though.
Anna, okay, no chocolate yet. 94... oh my... hope you are drinking lots of water.
I'm so glad you found us.Do you have Uber of Lyft? That's what I use at least once a week. Much cheaper than cabs, AND you tend to get better service.
@ Anna
Don't worry about which state. I know the three I listed are worst of them all. I say North Carolina is the worst of the entire world (excepting those fanatical Muslim nations) because the Baptist Bible Belters in that state control at least 95% of all the political and legal offices in that state. There have been some people who have come out about the abuse, but those stories were so quickly squashed and eradciated from existence, they almost never saw the light of day. Now that I am living out west, I don't give shit what they think. I am going to speak out as much as I want, when I want, how I want, and they ain't gonna stop me. They'd have to assassinate me first. And it is too late. I have already published two books with my story. Of course, that story ain't finished. I have thought of publishing another book, focusing specifically on the horrible nightmares I suffered at the hands of the church when I was a child. However, I am still trying to dig up all of those repressed and oppressed memories. Anyone got an idea for a title, such as, "The Gentle Love of the Church"?
Night Driving. My problem with night driving is the lights. I sometimes joke about being to see at night better than I can at day. I suffer a condition known as photophobia. I know, sounds like a fear of photos or light, but is actually a visual over-sensitivity to light. Due to this, I can actually see much better at night than most other "normal" persons. Where most "normal" persons, without any other light sources other than the stars/moon, see nothing but a greyscale at night, I can actually see "colors" up to certain distances: up to about 30 meters with only starlight (no moon), and up to about 200 meters in full moon. And do not wear fluorescent colors at night because you literally "glow" in the UV light at night. If there are other sources of light (such as man-made) nearby, this effectly "blinds" my ability to see at night. Even a small flashlight will negate my "night vision."
Photophobia is a condition also suffered by persons who are also color blind, specifically Deuteranomaly and Deuteranopia. Although these are a red-green "anomalous trichromat" and "dichromat" visual anomalies, these persons also tend to be able to see into the higher bandwidths of light, sometimes bordering on the lower ultra-violet. It is this ability to see into the higher bandwidths of light that also causes the photophobia. I am so photophobic, I have been known to wear sunglasses inside, especially if the inside lighting uses too many fluorescent lamps. Did you know that fluorescent lamps actually give off light in the ultra-violet spectrum? A spectrum beyond our normal visual range. The only reason fluorescent lamps glow "white" is due to the coating of phosphers on the inside. Fluorescent lamps use mercury vapors to create their light. That is why, even with the CFLs, they should not be thrown out with the "normal" trash.
And yes. I have researched color blindness because I suffer with Deuteranomaly. However, it is more accurate to say I am "hue" blind instead of "color" blind. I can easily distinguish between red and green. Where I have the trouble is the difference in the hues of red or green, mostly in the reds. Where you could easily spot the difference between two subtle shades of red, I would not be able to see the difference. However, one interesting fact of those who suffer with Deuteranomaly and Deuteranopia (specifically those two types) is that such persons can easily spot "camouflage" much easier than persons with "normal" visual capabilities. I have actually seen this in real life. And the first time it happened, it kind made me wonder... I use to be a "bow" hunter. On one particular hunting trip with a friend, I spotted a person in camouflage clothing about 500 meters away, yet my friend who was with me could not see that other hunter until he was within 5 meters. This "beneificial" anomaly from Deuteranomaly and Deuteranopia has made it easier for me when I am hunting. I can spot deer, elk, etc. easier than normal persons. So there. Nah!
Let me quit ranting...
rmfr
Edit: corrected "read" to "red"
@Arakish
All of us suffers to some extent with night driving. Obviously as you stated, some more then others. My night vision is not as near as extreme as yours, but I have noticed a large difference between my night vision and sensitivity to light then compared to my wife. My wife has brown eyes, I have blue eyes, (actually blue means little to no pigmentation.) I see better at night then she does, but a good pair of dark sunglasses is a necessity for me during the day when I am outside. My wife is mostly the opposite.
The problem of night driving in traffic has gotten worse with the switch from the old style yellow lights to gas based lights and then to LED. LED lights frequently emit much more of the bands of light in the "blue" spectrum. Certainly a lot more then the old style filament lights that emitted a more yellowish hue. Which is especially harsh for anyone's eyes as they adjust to night. Led lighting also does not "scatter" as much so they need to up the lumens for people to see more of the road, and the energy efficiency of LED easily allows for this. Plus culture has decided that LED lights are fancier and more desirable, they sure do make for cool looking headlights that help sell the cars "sexy modern look." Both in advertising and on the road.
Additionally as we age it is well known our eyes do not adjust as readily. Damaged from years of "light damage" and plain old age, the problem of night blindness nearly always gets worse as we age.
The human eye is quite fascinating. How the eye adjust to night is equally fascinating. Only a small percentage of the photoreceptors in your eyes can even "see" color and fine detail, the rest see black and white and are specialized for movement, peripheral vision, and... night vision. Their is even a chemical/biological process that typically takes 15-30 minutes to improve one's "night" vision. This process also makes it so the eye can be more easily damaged by a sudden bright light, especially a sustained one. (Evolution of the eye accounted for lighting flashes at night, but has had almost no chance to account for the very recent advent of powerful artificial light.)
What sucks is there is not much that can be done to solve this problem. Other than avoiding driving at night in non highly lit areas, your only option is to get powerful led headlights of your own, so at least your eyes can adjust to that light reflecting back at you some, to help with other cars that also have powerful led lights that drive by.
Maybe someday in the future (I am guessing unfortunately decades from now) Headlights as we know them will no longer be necessary for cars, as computers do the driving and rely on precise maps, lidar, and infrared etc. And for the rare case of special situational needs human drivers, that need to actually drive at night, they can be aided by the same sort of tools to help them see the road on a screen of sorts that would be far better than our plain old unaided eyes for night driving.
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▮ I am an atheist that always likes a good debate. ▮
▮ Please include @LogicFTW in responses directed to me. ▮
▮ Useful list on forum usage. A.R. Member since 2016. ▮
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Thanks Logic. I already knew the info, but THANKS for posting it. It shall help others.
rmfr
Book title: "Not with Peace, but with a Sword" or "The Ties That Bind" ?
Book title: "Not with Peace, but with a Sword" or "The Ties That Bind" ?
I live in Western Kentucky. There are no Synagogues, Mosques, or Buddhist temples in my county. The only atheist I know of was my ex-wife's divorce lawyer. I describe myself as a wolf in a community of sheep, but the sheep are heavily armed!
There is at least one mosque and one Buddhist temple here, also a Hindu center. And I have met several atheists! Nice people too.
One of them was wearing a t-shirt with the name of an atheist people-helping organization (can't think of what you call those, not a charity exactly)... anyway, he was out in public for 2 hours and I didn't hear anyone hassle him, and no knives were thrown. So maybe the religious here are rather decent people.
Where is Western Kentucky? I have never been there. I was born in Fort Knox because my father was in the Army at the time. I have always wanted to go and see where I was born. Perhaps I can retire there in a few years and we can form a small militia of monkeys to fight off the sheep. I will bring the sling shots.
@Cog Re: "Where is Western Kentucky?"
I think it's just a little to the left of Eastern Kentucky.
Where is Eastern Kentucky?
@Cog Re: "Where is Eastern Kentucky?"
Just a little to the right of Western Kentucky. Duh!
I live 100 miles north of Nashville, Tn, south of Indiana, east of Missouri, and west of West Virginia.
I live in the middle of a big blue ocean.
@MB Re: "I live in the middle of a big blue ocean."
How do you keep all your electronics from shorting out?
But... I don't know where Western Kentucky is....
@Cog Re: "But... I don't know where Western Kentucky is...."
Oh, I'm sorry. My bad. I forgot to mention that Western Kentucky is actually closer to Central Kentucky than it is to Eastern Kentucky. Just a little less further to the left.
So, is that left or right from here? M - 0 - 0 - N spells moon!
Welcome Anna!
Bible belt, ouch. I have not lived there thankfully, but I have visited the area plenty of times. Even a few small/medium sized towns. Feels like a different country to me, and I have traveled all over the world and gotten off the beaten tourist path in quite a few different countries all over the world. Admittedly some there can be very welcoming, accepting and nice. At least until they figure out you do not believe in the same god as they do and you are not intensely Republican like they are. The few atheist/liberals in these areas have learned long ago to keep a low profile. So it can feel like you are utterly alone.
I could be wrong, but you do not have to give money to most any church to attend services I ever heard of, but you may have to be okay with everyone thinking you are a cheap or poor and try to shame you. I unfortunately find all to many people in bible belt area that are not very tolerant of "different."
Where I live actually has one of the largest megachurches in the US nearby, despite the fact that only a small fraction of the people that live in the area regularly attend church. The megachurch has 3-4 gatherings every sunday along with a 2 saturday services, during christmas and easter they will have up to 10 or more! "gatherings" in the 2-3 days surrounding the holiday. Despite having capacity for over 2000 people in any one ceremony. So many people that do not go, and so many people that do go, there is no way for anyone to reliably keep track if you are a regular church goer, let alone an atheist. Plus in this high population area, there are dozens of churches within a short drive. Ah anonymity in pure numbers.
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▮ I am an atheist that always likes a good debate. ▮
▮ Please include @LogicFTW in responses directed to me. ▮
▮ Useful list on forum usage. A.R. Member since 2016. ▮
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A different country--sometimes I feel like the people around me are in a different universe. Where is the being they keep talking about? Darned if I see it. And this beautiful world this wonderful being made--yes, some parts of it are, but can't they see things like dead animals in the road? Diseased plants? Ugly decrepit buildings? Litter everywhere?
No one ever said that I had to give money to go to a church service, but they sure do pass the offering plate, very publicly.
Hi Anna, welcome.
The bible belt in the US always a) puzzled me, b) made me feel very uncomfortable when I lived and travelled in the US. You have my sympathy.
Here in Australia the churches are diminishing at a fair old rate and even the JWs are becoming rarer at the door. No one really bothers about religion, there are so many immigrants of so many cultures that the temples and churches are more social clubs than places of worship!
The true religion of Australia is AFL footy, followed by cricket and third...rugby football. The sacrament is a meat pie and a midi of beer, or latterly a good bold shiraz.
This is a friendly place unless you are a theist preacher, Tin Man can be a bit rambunctious and leads our favorite tree Arakish sadly astray sometimes. Me? Oh, I am a very model of propriety and good manners.
@Old Man Re: "Tin Man can be a bit rambunctious and leads our favorite tree Arakish sadly astray sometimes."
Hey! For the record, I'm gonna plead a fifth -.... er, uh, I mean THE Fifth on that! Even though your wildly speculative accusations may or may not be entirely untrue as to not quite so fully dispel any legitimate factuality to any and all deceptive attempts to besmirch the good name of our dear friend Arakish. I object! And I move to strike the jury, your Honor, on the grounds of Hallius Toscious. I rest my case.
Howdy, Anna! Great of you to join us! Welcome to our little cubbyhole of relative sanity. *chuckle*
I am a central Alabama boy, myself. Thanks to the military (along with my taste for adventure), however, I have been fortunate enough to travel to a good many places all over the world. Experienced many a different people and cultures, and had a few good times along the way. (Despite scorching desert heat and sub-zero mountain temperatures.) Looking back on it all now, though, I do believe the best part about all of that travelling is that is was one of the major influences that helped me escape the suffocating bonds of religion. Didn't realize it at the time, of course. But hindsight IS 20/20, as they say.
Yeah, the good ol' Bible Belt definitely has its own unique "pulse". *chuckle* Wanna hear something odd, though? Before I finally left my lifelong ingrained religion behind (Baptist and Methodist), I found the whole religious atmosphere to be fairly "uncomfortable". Spent a majority of my life always feeling "uneasy" and "out of place" whenever I was in a church or around any religious group/person or attending any religious event. Just never felt like I fit in. However, now that I have finally put all the nagging doubts behind me and have fully embraced who/what I am now, I have gradually noticed something I never expected. Turns out, I am now TOTALLY at ease and completely fine with being around any and all things religious. Does not bother me in the least little bit being around/in a church, or being in/near a group of people praying, or attending ceremonies that are typically religious-dominated. (Weddings, funerals, Southeastern football games, etc.) Matter of fact, I have discovered as of late that I am usually just filled with a mild sense of amusement and bemusement about the whole thing. Mix in with that a small touch of pity for those still under the spell, along with a very strong sense of relief that I am no longer entangled in its sticky tentacles. Basically, for me, it is an amazing feeling of freedom I have never experienced before. It should almost be illegal for anybody to feel as confident and as relaxed with themselves as I feel now. *chuckle* And here's a good touch of irony for you..... There have been a couple of instances here and there in which the religious person has ended up being the one feeling "uncertain" around ME. And it is not anything I do purposefully to make them feel that way. It is almost as if they sense something different about me that they do not know how to handle. And that just makes me smile even bigger. I love it! lol
Anyway, come on in and make yourself at home. Popcorn and sodas are in the kitchen, but it is BYOB for anything beyond that. See ya out on the field.
Tin Man - Yure in Alabama?? I lived in Huntsville for a few years and attended Lee High. Huntsville Decatur Alabama, home of air so thick it can not be breathed, tornadoes and the Bowing Aircraft Corporation. School in Alabama was amazing for this California boy. During the first school assembly I just walked in and sat down in the bleachers like I would have done in California. Turns out, I sat in the black section. What was fascinating is that anyone could sit anyplace they like but still the blacks grouped together and it was so uncomfortable being the only white guy in a sea of black people that I soon learned to sit with my own group. I participated in social segregation out of peer pressure as much from the blacks at the school as the whites. It was a strange two years for me. I spent a whole lot of time being out of place and hearing "Oh, you are the guy from California."
@Cog Re: Blacks and Whites in the South
Interestingly enough, my childhood was rather.... ummmm... "unique"(?) when it came to that. I grew up primarily in a very small town, and most of my childhood was spent living in a small housing project community within that small town. (Government assisted housing.) As a result, there was quite the mix of black and whites. Therefore, I had almost as many black friends as I did white friends. Schools were also very mixed, and as far as I could ever tell, we were all treated the same. Now, that's not to say there was never any bigotry or prejudices at times, especially among the adults. It was quite common to hear the "N" word used openly, even out in public places, and by some of my own family. (I have never liked that word. And it is one of very few words I refuse to say our use in any way.) And those "fine upstanding gentlemen"... *cough-cough*... in their flowing white robes and pillow case headgear were a regular sight, as they often gathered for some purpose or another at the local shopping center area. Overall, however, I guess I was fortunate enough to be raised and taught not to judge others by the color of their skin. And over the years, that has only been reinforced through various experiences and by having the opportunities to encounter many different people from many different walks of life. And from my experience, no matter the race, nationality, gender, political status, religious belief, or sexual preference, a good person is a good person, and a piece of shit is a piece of shit. None of that other stuff matters. (Just my humble opinion.) Sadly, there are way too many others out there who still cling to their narrow-minded (and often extremely warped) prejudices, and they refuse to step outside their delusional little boxes of "superiority" long enough to accept others as the humans they truly are.
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