Sea of Madness,

I can understand your situation. We are lucky that we have had a few lucky breaks at various times otherwise we could easily be where you are right now. Sooner or later we may experience some of what you are going through. After all, we only have 2 seconds of security and things can change for the worse in a flash.

Things are tough for you right now. But remember, your father is counting on you. Try to hold it together for him. It's tough facing hard life problems alone so it might be wise to start thinking about the future. Start thinking about final arrangements for your father, disposition of property, finances, your own future, etc., It's best to face those things ahead of time so that you won't panic when it finally happens, and it will. So get started now while you aren't under too much pressure. Identify possible sources of help and advice starting today. It will help you regain control.

Good luck.

Here's my awesome idea for you:)
Start a blog about food, depression, or whatever you are most passionate about. You can stay home and care for your dad and relieve some of your guilt by making some money.
http://www.cashflowdiaries.com/blog-income-reports/

Sea of Madness,

It's good to know that your father might have some time but you still have the problem. You need to come up with a strategy for coping when he's gone. It's best to discuss those things while everyone is still lucid, even though it's a difficult subject to talk about. One thing is for sure: it won't get better.

Do you know where the important papers are? How will you handle the debts and monthly bills? Does he have a will? How will you handle the burial? Will you become homeless? You need to know those things now. You don't need to answer them for us but you need to answer them for yourself.

I wouldn't do it either, but you seemed to like the idea of flying...

The words of the song and the fact that you wanted to jump off a building. Beautiful view. lol. Oops. bad analysis on my part.